NSFW RP: consent, minors, and other boundaries

Discussion in 'That's So Meta!' started by seebs, Sep 2, 2017.

  1. unknownanonymous

    unknownanonymous i am inimitable, i am an original|18+

    all my rp subaccounts are marked 18+ now. yes, even the joke ones that even i don't think will be having any kind of sex in the near future.
     
  2. Mendacity

    Mendacity I’m meaner than my demons

    THANK

    Sorry my Red/Green colorblind lizard eyes hate the red :'(
     
    • Witnessed x 1
  3. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    Y'all, please consider a non-meta thread for this. Like, I'll hear arguments for why it's gotta be done here but if it's not super important to you then, pls. :I
     
  4. cleverThylacine

    cleverThylacine cuddles for the weird and the fierce

    I don't actually want to talk about it any more in public. I knew this must have come up because of this and I'm pissed off to be right.
     
    • Agree x 2
  5. quiet chirper

    quiet chirper New Member

    Should we create a TCHGB thread?
     
    • Agree x 1
  6. IvyLB

    IvyLB Hardcore Vigilante Gay Chicken Facilitator

    Hey yo!
    Can we maybe try to steer away from the arguing? That'd be super neat. Because if someone is feeling too unsafe to say they have concerns OOC then that is a problem! We want everyone who RPs to have fun!
    The only thing I'd like to mention is that I'm super sorry, but readers have a lesser priority to that fun than the players have. If a player is uncomfortable with something happening directly or indirectly involving their characters? That's not good and we should talk about it asap and resolve the problem so everyone cna have fun again!
    If someone who isn't playing and is just reading is uncomfortable then requesting spoiler tags is fine and might be necessary if someone missed something (it happens, most of us are probably sort of human adjacent :P) but people who aren't involved in a scene can't actually call for it to stop unless it's stuff like graphic sexual content in an all ages thread. But that last case is super extreme and its probably a case of 'Please use the report function'!

    eta: AAAAAND I was sort of ninja'd because I type slow today. Oops! Sorry!
     
    • Agree x 5
    • Winner x 1
  7. cleverThylacine

    cleverThylacine cuddles for the weird and the fierce

    NO.

    ETA: I mean you can if you want, but I refuse to participate in another public discussion regarding my arguments with FL, Ipuntya, Alix and Moogle ever again, not least because I have at least one of those individuals on permanent ignore and I won't take them off it.
     
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2017
    • Useful x 1
  8. AbsenteeLandlady123

    AbsenteeLandlady123 Chronically screaming

    Okay I was asleep and missed the start of this, but I have been thinking about this a lot and here's my thoughts:
    It is flat out inappropriate for an adult and a minor to engage in any form of NSFW RP including gore, extreme violence and sex. It's inappropriate for an adult and a minor to RP their characters being in a NSFW relationship of any kind, even if their characters fade to black. There is a solid difference between 'picking up a book' and *directly engaging with an adult in a relationship*. This isn't being an anti, this is being legitimately majorly concerned about the safety of minors based on people being uncomfortable, past history, and a concern to establish solid boundaries so that people can continue to RP and safely know what the acceptable lines are.

    It is inappropriate regardless of whether the minor or adult initiate these things. Having the content passively around, so long as NSFW content is spoilered, is fine. My suggestion would just be to make a SFW version of RP threads where people uncomfortable with sexually and violently charged atmosphere are able to take part in the activity without worrying that their boundaries will be pressed against.
     
    • Agree x 7
    • Informative x 1
  9. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    I'm not suggesting you should assume that you're in the wrong, necessarily. But it might be useful to give significantly more consideration to the possibility that you're in the wrong, or that you are in some significant way failing to communicate what you mean clearly. Because there's certainly a fair number of people who are actively involved in the conversations and having similar reactions, at which point it feels to me like there's something that would be useful to debug.

    Even if all of this is definitely-true, it still remains that there was significant distress and Feeling Creeped Out about the things that happened back in that RP discourse way back when.

    So, earlier in this thread, you said:

    And I think that's the point: Yes, it is about that argument. That's what people are upset about. Because it turns out that you also really made those posts that were your side of the OOC argument. And that was where there were things that a fair number of people seem to have found objectionable.

    If the person in question had been creeping you out for months, why didn't you say or do something about this? Report posts that you think are creepy! Tell people when things are creeping you out! But whether or not they had been "creeping you out for months" seems, to me, to be irrelevant to the question of whether people were in fact upset about a thing you said later.
     
    • Agree x 2
  10. Codeless

    Codeless Cheshire Cat

    Housekeeping thing: People started Marking 18+ in their Rp subs, which confused me cause I´d suggested Minors ann folks who want no sexy mark BUT is fair.
    Would like to suggest to use A for adult or M for minor (Stolen from Moony) so it´s a little more clear, since 18+ often means NSFW.

    This is relevant to me because i am an adult who does not wish to Rp sex.
     
    • Like x 1
    • Agree x 1
  11. Petra

    Petra space case

    Legit question: does that mean minors can't rp Homestuck?
     
    • Winner x 3
    • Like x 1
  12. Mendacity

    Mendacity I’m meaner than my demons

    Yeah I mentioned that in discord and shoulda posted it here. I'm good with either but A / M seems easier and less characters
     
    • Like x 1
  13. unknownanonymous

    unknownanonymous i am inimitable, i am an original|18+

    i like 18+ because i don't think what a and m mean here is significantly clear without an explanation. whereas 18+ says something direct about age and being okay with involving sex-adjacent stuff in rping,
     
  14. Petra

    Petra space case

    Or they can do it just with other minors? Not trying to be snarky here, just that for some settings extreme violence and gore go with the canon and some of those settings are considered appropriate for teenagers.
     
    • Agree x 2
  15. Petra

    Petra space case

    Wait, I marked all my active rp accounts but that doesn't neccesarily mean I'm okay with sex-adjacent stuff directly involving some of them, like Clover and Star, who are both 14.
     
    • Like x 1
    • Informative x 1
  16. Codeless

    Codeless Cheshire Cat

    Ok but, I am over 18 and NOT ok with RPing smut.
    that´s why I suggest minor mark their accounts, and people who are no ok with sex, rather than the other way around.
     
    • Agree x 1
    • Informative x 1
  17. Petra

    Petra space case

    Like, Percy Jackson and the Olympians and Heroes of Olympus aren't sexualized settings, but they can be extremely violent! And they're YA books. There's an ongoing rp on Kintsugi in that setting with teenaged characters, and I think both adults and minors play. Do the adults have to leave?
     
    • Agree x 1
  18. Khan

    Khan why does anyone NOT hate her

    Potential suggestion: for those who are 18+ but don't want sexual themes at all, I think it's still valuable to indicate that they are of age, but maybe 18+/SFW?
     
    • Agree x 2
    • Like x 1
  19. Khan

    Khan why does anyone NOT hate her

    ETA because I have big clunky thumbs: That "relationship" part is important. There's a difference between Dick And Jane Go To The Store and Dick And Jane Simulate A Non-Platonic Relationship.
     
    • Agree x 1
  20. AbsenteeLandlady123

    AbsenteeLandlady123 Chronically screaming

    What minors do with each other is their own business. It's dangerous for it to be accepted that minors and adults can participate in NSFW natured relationships in RP. More so with things of a sexual nature in particular. Pale/Ashen is fine without question I think. Red/Black - the second anybody starts moving toward fade-to-black, I would suggest pulling back and re-establishing boundaries.
    Spoilered depictions of violence = fine. Extreme violence = not fine. I include in that: dismemberment, disembowling, torture. RP'ing those with a minor is inappropriate.
     
    • Informative x 3
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