NSFW RP: consent, minors, and other boundaries

Yes, and I agree with that! But I'm wondering what to do about an existing rp in that case (with, again, no sex at all as far as I know, but I have no idea how violent the rp can get, because I'm not in it).

 

Yes, I agree. But where does the violence fit in, I mean? What about Dick and Jane Simulate Being Superpowered Teenagers Fighting Against Forces Of Mythology And Also Jane Loses An Arm In A Battle With A Titan?

 

Hi I am not an extensive role player here but I read through the thread, I have a suggestion/question and a comment

1) Would it be possible to have a policy of "assume RP subs are run by minors unless explicitly stated otherwise"? That could potentially avoid both unknowingly interacting with minors in questionable ways, however you define that, and also keeps people from having to disclose their ages when it's not necessary

2) I am so goddamn disappointed I didn't see ONE "no it's about ethics in games journalism" jokes a few pages back, I mean really

 

I'm not in it either. Look at us, up here in the peanut gallery.

The usual thing to do is spoiler, in that case. I'm going to venture that a kid reading The Hunger Games is different than a kid reading something a trusted adult wrote about dismembering that kid's OC, but violence is generally addressed with more liberty than sex, and the scope matters, and I think I'd like an example of the usual tone in that RP before I pass judgment.

 

Yeah, and I mean it also matters if ooc discussion is going on, and how much detail is going into it. Like there's a difference between spending a paragraph or more lovingly describing someone's OC losing an arm and like, it being 'as you said you wanted to have as a consequence, when your OC wakes up they're in the medical bay and also they're missing an arm' or whatever. Again, no idea if that's even relevant.

 

Also WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? When you pull back from an RP or stop it YOU ARE BASICALLY FADING TO BLACK. Like THIS is my problem. This is incoherent to me. At what point do you have to pull back? What point is close to fade-to-black? We cannot make sweeping rules about The Thing until we have firm boundaries.

Like I cannot grasp this and I don't know if it's something wrong with me, like am I fucking broken or something, or is it because people aren't talking in absolutes or????? Like I get it, I don't want to rp sex with a minor (pretty sure no one here does, hence solutions), but I'm also kind of having a Moment about what's ok to FTB on in non-sexual places?

Is it ok for me to fade to black when my character is snuggling up on another character so both of us can sleep? When you COULD look at it from the outside and say 'they fuckin' when in fact all they did was go watch soaps???? Like does the 'okayness' of my FTB depend on outside view? Are we still on about no FTB around minors?

LIKE. WHAT THE FUCK?

 

I'm sorry I just cannot grasp what half of you MEAN when you say Fade to Black. Are we running into a terminology problem? Is it because of where different people learned to RP online / write online? Like? I'm honestly baffled here.

 

I have already considered a lot of possibilities with respect to that argument, @seebs, and I have come to several conclusions, and nobody will be very happy if I post them here, so I'm not going to.

Why don't you go and look? It's in Acey's vent thread, including the part where I told the individual in question that I wasn't doing that.

Is this about whether I'm allowed to have opinions some people find objectionable, or is this about what we're allowed to do on the site in the RP forums?

Because I talked about it repeatedly to other people in the RP and they told me I was being ridiculous and everyone else thought it was funny and I figured they were probably right and then I snapped. Sorry, I'm not perfect. The point is, at no time have I ever tried to engage a minor in a sexual RP. And I'm not going to. That's all anybody needs to know. I'm not going to go over this again with those people here or in TCHGB or anywhere else in public again. Stop trying to make me do that. It's not going to happen.

I do not want to discuss this here with you. If you wanted to have a discussion with me about this issue, this was not an appropriate way to bring it up. It does not belong on a site policy thread.

 

In my experience, FTB is specifically used to refer to implied sexual situations. Everything else is just called a timeskip.

 

I'm not personally attacking you. I understand that the lack of solid boundaries is extremely distressing, I share that view both related to this and the wider forum at large. Saying "I am uncomfortable and this needs to stop" OCC is not basically fading to black, it's saying "this stops now, it does not continue IC, and in the next post between our characters we will talk about something different."
I understand, I'm sorry I should have been more specific. I just woke up half an hour ago and I'm in a lot of pain. I'm not saying that you are bad, or broken.

 

Then talk about those please.

 

It was always just "Hey do you want to fade to black on this?" for me. Even for just like "Two dudes haulin' potato sacks" Started getting used interchangeably for timeskip a little later, even with sex!

I know you're not attacking me and I'm not trying to attack you I am just infuriated that this is legit a terminology problem.

"Hey I'm not comfortable with this scene, can we just fade to black?" Could be said about anything. It is just fading to black. That is just how it was where I learned to rp, and no you can't say that it's 'not fading to black' because it is in some circles. I'm amazed that there are circles where 'Fade to Black' is an Only Sexual thing, that utterly baffles me

 

OK, I've thought of a potential problem problem. This is something I've seen outside of Kintsugi. I haven't personally seen it here. So it may be happening here and I haven't seen it, and it may not be. I don't know.

There are definitely RPs that, while themselves nonsexual, are clearly being written one-handed. What I mean by that is, for example, everyone is participating in Dick And Jane Go To The Store and it's totally SFW, but you can definitely tell that Jane's RPer is having a lot of 18+ fun in the aisle over. You all know what I mean. I don't know the word for it. Hopefully someone has witnessed this phenomenon before.

 

I mean how can you even judge that unless they say something? It's... hard to police that? I've only ever seen something LIKE that in smut fic when you can tell that only one hand was on the keys.

 

Yeah I know what you're talking about, although I haven't seen it here.

 

I think the problem is that... what is the point at which you assume a Fade To Black vs a simple Time Skip took place?
If two characters leave a party arm in arm, in a generally good mood, and have a previously established romantic relationship is that a Fade To Black if the scene fades out there? Is it a Fade to Black if one of the two kisses the other at the doorstep after being brought home, then decides to invite them inside "For Coffee (If you know what I mean[optional])"?
I'm personally reading a lot of stuff that sounds like 'No minor can imply their characters are involved in a sexual relationship at all ever again' but I'm sure you're not meaning anything close to that?

 

Potential terminology confusion point: I've been using fade-to-black when talking about "characters leaving the rave space because things were heading in a NSFW-implied direction", but "leaving the rave space" is not always synonymous with "for sexual reasons". I've also seen timeskip/fade-to-black used interchangably in other areas, which might also be part of the issue?

Reasons characters leave the rave and therefore might be subject to fade-to-black/timeskips:

• possible nsfw content
• roleplayer was triggered
• character was triggered and would be unfun for the roleplayer and everyone around them
• rave is moving too fast so the characters are assumed to have left (or confirmed to have left after the fact by the roleplayer)
• the roleplayer wanted to sleep so they 'woke' their characters up to remove them
• the characters were having an out-of-rave discussion and the roleplayer wanted to note that they were leaving
• it's funny to have someone tackled in their sleep by toddler and popped out of the rave

(There's also been times where I've faded-to-black with someone and then we came back and decided that they probably had ice cream and watched movies instead of banging, which is where my "they could be having ice cream for all that I care" came from. I still agree that sexual FTBs with minors should be ruled against, but not every person is going to reflect lovingly on the potential sex that might be happening-- some people will legitimately go "and then they got ice cream", and I'm one of them.)

Not a thing I've seen on Kintsugi, especially not in WT or SPR. Not even in DT despite all the smut happening there, and it's something I'm familiar with from tumblr and f-list.