NSFW RP: consent, minors, and other boundaries

is it like when foot fetishizers come up to people and ask questions about their feet, but aren't blatantly sexual about it, so people only end up knowing it's sexual because of how weird the questions are and because foot fetishizes are a known thing? and some people end up being oblivious to it entirely because words like "sex" never come into it?

like, that news story about the people on youtube who were sending challenges to kids in order to get them to act out their fetishes.

it's not something i've seen on kintsugi, but i think i get what you mean, at least if what i detailed here is at all like what you were getting at.

 

It's a sticky situation. Pun not intended. But it is pretty uncomfortable to be on the receiving end of something like that when it isn't what you signed up for, speaking from experience. And it is pretty uncomfortable to feel like you don't have a leg to stand on because nothing was technically NSFW about it.

Good to know it isn't just me, and good to know it hasn't made it here! That's my question answered, I think.

YES. Or about a character/person being ill, or about certain clothes, or about a character's appearance.

 

OK, well, for the record: that situation was discussed to death and I don't want to talk about it any more in public. I also do not care whether at least three of those people find my stated opinions about what does and doesn't constitute NSFW content creepy, and the more I hear about it, the madder I get and the less I care. I'm allowed to think whatever I think, and I will obey whatever rules are decided upon.

 

I am using fade to black for situations where all parties are comfortable with the established action and it becomes NSFW, and then the scene changes and the game moves forward.
If someone is uncomfortable, the scene should stop. It should not continue IC, the next post between the characters should be about something different - a scene change, essentially. Depending on the level of discomfort, it may be appropriate to ask for a retcon of the events OOC.

Okay.
Hi.
Crypto, straight up: I have very strong discomfort toward your lack of boundaries. I have gone to participate in threads outside of the NSFW sections of the forums and repeatedly encountered you talking about sexual acts, sometimes in detail, without them being spoilered to warn for NSFW, you have a habit of bringing conversation around to sex and your sexual interests even when saying you don't find a specific act enticing, and in any situation where you do that it results in people forgetting the guideline about spoilering their NSFW of any nature and I've unable to participate in threads I find interesting as a result because of being too uncomfortable. When I looked at the RP guidelines because I was interested in maybe joining the activities, I was incredibly alarmed by how controlling they were of players when they weren't active in the game - such as the part of the rules where you say you will contact people via discord and email repeatedly if they stop posting. I have some serious discomfort about your rules for the RP and would like to make a thread discussing this because I think it's the source of some of the discomfort people feel.

 

SFW - We need a definition that we can all agree on for this
NSFW - Same
18+ - Again, need a definition

This seems stupid, but like terminology is the base of any conversation and agreement. If we're all arguing from different meanings to the same words we'll never reach any sort of conclusion. Are we using SFW in the way of 'expressly not NSFW'? Or are we using it in the 'Safe for actual work / school' way? The reverse is true for NSFW (though once you define SFW it's easier). The second definition means basically a G rating (Cursing isn't exactly safe for work you know).

I mean I'd hope if I said "Nah I'm not up to continuing this / I'm uncomfortable" that people here would listen. Otherwise I'm just gonna not reply cause I'm rude like that.

 

SPR is not my RP or my rules, take it up with @swirlingflight.

WT is a closed RP. Nobody has to be part of it. We contacted two people when they stopped posting, one of whom we were afraid she was actually dead, and she was pleased to be contacted. If you don't like the rules for the game don't play it, it's not open to everyone anyway.

 

The rules you laid out for WT, which you are the mod for and run, made me incredibly uncomfortable upon examination, it's these that I'm talking about.
You forbid people from playing any character that may have explosive meltdowns as it runs the risk of triggering you, and even divulge the reasons and particulars for this, which is a good boundary to set and an excellent case of addressing potential problems ahead of time. However, in a later section, you warn people looking to join that sometimes that characters (player-driven or NPCs) will say and do things that [the reader/player] may find problematic, but that this is, quote, "unavoidable." You also specifically, and only, cite triggers based on violent actions as eligible to be spoiler tagged on active request.

This creates the impression that things that would hit your triggers or make you uncomfortable are never okay, but that you making your players uncomfortable is not only okay, but explicitly unavoidable, and that by agreeing to play, your players are signing away their right to complain or set boundaries for themselves, because you warned them. By declaring explicit boundaries you allow players to set, and neglecting to mention or implicitly dismissing others via the language you use in defense of characters and narratives that are not real, you are endowing the elements and characters of collaborative fiction with more agency than you're giving your players.

 

Yeah I think so! Just for double clarity I'd add "Fade to black" or "Time skip" legit just in case someone has somehow not ever heard the term FTB (who knows, it could happen!)

 

Adding that fade to black is something I have understood primarily to mean "we're ending this here because it's understood where this is going and we don't want to write it" (for things like sex, but also for things like tragedies, violence, etc) and secondarily to mean a scene change in general. I can see how this could be REALLY confusing.

Can I request that, if it ever comes up as A Rule, either for the forum for individual RP threads, that it be clarified/defined as needed?

 

Anyways I think to reiterate/recap:

• We're all super in agreement that we do not want anyone to feel uncomfortable
• Minors and adults shouldn't engage in inappropriate activity with eachother on this forum
• We're trying to nail down where the exact boundary ballpark of what is inappropriate actually is

I personally agree that ideally the finer parts of boundaries should obviously be in-house rulings for most RPs because boundaries vary.
Adding indication as to adult or minor status and comfort level with sexual implications and activities is a courtesy but the exact formalities of it aren't quite set in stone yet as far as I can tell?

 

Yes, I think that's extremely helpful.

 

Hey guys can we not? Like, make a TCHGB thread if you really want (but remember that CT doesn't have to go to it) but this thread is NOT for arguments. This thread is for rule stuff??

 

If you want me to delete a comment I will be happy to do so, just ... ask me to delete it.

 

I don't think SPR has any rules about me emailing people who stop posting. Not unless I was reaaaaaaally out of it when I made the current thread. It'd be counter to the whole open setting, freely revolving cast notion, and gathering contact information is effort.

 

These are just suggestions.

SFW - Can read this out loud to a 10 year old without the 10 year old being confused or scarred.
NSFW - Can read this out loud to a 20 year old without the 20 year old being confused or scarred.
18+ - Should not read this out loud.

I'm using the criteria from Cherubplay, that implemented a SFW/NSFW/NSFW Extreme policy to handle this sort of thing. NSFW is pretty vanilla, but still not for children. NSFWE is no-holds-barred, whatever you want, as nasty as you want.

SFW: Tommy drops his ice cream cone in the park.
NSFW: Tommy drops his condoms in the club.
NSFWE: Tommy drops a corpse in the river.