NSFW RP: consent, minors, and other boundaries

Discussion in 'That's So Meta!' started by seebs, Sep 2, 2017.

  1. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    @Chiomi for a sticky thread draft:
    • Please keep all nsfw in the nsfw subforum/use the nsfw tag in rp specific sub-subforums, and do not initiate nsfw content in sfw threads.
    • Do not engage underage forum users in simulated sex acts, even intentionally implied sex using a "fade to black/cut scene."*
    • Try to be mindful of consent issues and comfort levels in all situations, both IC and OOC.
    • If a thread needs moved from one section to another or you would like a tag added please use the report button to get a mod's attention.

    *Non-sexual fade to black/cut scene exits from a scene are okay. If the players don't intend sex in a FTB/cut scene then it's fine. Intentions can be made clear OOC if people have questions or are worried.

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    Last edited: Sep 2, 2017
    • Like x 1
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  2. IvyLB

    IvyLB Hardcore Vigilante Gay Chicken Facilitator

    I would be more or less okay with these policy changes if they result in the greatest possible comfort for all involved :)
     
    • Like x 1
  3. Secret Squirrel

    Secret Squirrel certainly something

    Again, not derictly involved, going off of what I have read here:

    It took me a while to figure out how Kathy's story related to the thread topic, although idk if she meant it this way? I think it does, but more as an anecdote than something that much can be done about. Not pinging/quoting because she's tapped out and also I'm lazy.

    It's been kind of a secondary topic that people who have had issues have felt that they weren't or would not be taken seriously, and that this is something that needs to be addressed.

    Kathy felt there was a weird discrepancy within the rules of an RP she was otherwise interesting in joining/asking to join. I think that if she felt she would be taken seriously, she might have asked about this discrepancy, why it exists, etc. From what has been posted, I was also confused, and I find cT's explanation a reasonable one. But for whatever reason, Kathy did not feel comfortable asking about this.

    So, here we have a concrete example of someone feeling like they won't be taken seriously with regards to concerns with an RP. I'm not sure if this is a case that could have been resolved with.... idk, more blanket encouragement of communication. But people did want examples.
     
    • Agree x 2
  4. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    @Chiomi in big bold letters:

    If you feel uncomfortable in an rp situation, IC or OOC, and don't feel comfortable asserting your boundaries or having a discussion about it by yourself, please use the report button or contact a mod.

    If something is pinging you as NSFW in a SFW setting and you want help addressing that, please report the post or thread and we'll look into it.
     
    • Agree x 3
  5. cleverThylacine

    cleverThylacine cuddles for the weird and the fierce

    OK but here's the thing. I post the rules of the RP so that people can have an idea whether or not they'd like to play. I actively encourage not playing if you don't think you'd have fun. I'm really not interested in trying to make my game fit everyone on the site. And I don't think I should have to be.
     
  6. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    Also I do have concerns about how Kathy was dismissed when she brought up examples of things that concerned her re: reasonable boundaries. That seemed like an example of, well, how things are sometimes dismissed/not taken seriously by the people concerns are addressed too.
     
    • Agree x 6
  7. Secret Squirrel

    Secret Squirrel certainly something

    That's totally acceptable and also not what I was getting at. I was getting at that if she had felt comfortable asking, she may have found that the reasons for these seemingly hypocritical rules were actually not hypocritical (dealing with problematic things versus dealing with triggers). She felt disinclined to inquire. People wanted examples of others discomfort impeding their ability to participate in the past, and that's what this was.
     
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  8. cleverThylacine

    cleverThylacine cuddles for the weird and the fierce

    You are right. I am dismissing it. I am dismissing it because nobody in the game right now dislikes the way it is run and the game is not an open RP that anyone can drop into or out of without warning. If somebody inside the game has a problem we discuss it and work it out. But I don't think other people have the right to expect me to be open to them out of the blue announcing that they want to make a thread about how they don't like the way I run an RP that they are not part of. And there's probably nothing you can say about that that will change my stance on the matter.
     
    • Agree x 1
  9. cleverThylacine

    cleverThylacine cuddles for the weird and the fierce

    That's not the part I had a problem with.

    The part I had a problem with was "I'm going to make a thread about why the way you run your game is wrong."
     
  10. Chiomi

    Chiomi Master of Disaster

     
    • Like x 2
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  11. Secret Squirrel

    Secret Squirrel certainly something

    Then I am not sure why you quoted my first post on the subject to object, since I didn't say anything about whether it would be appropriate for someone to do so. (Unless you meant "make" as in "change the topic of an existing thread" and not "create a new thread", which is how I'm reading it right now.)

    I said it was topical in this thread for someone to voice how their discomforts prevented them from participating. I am aware the RP in question currently isn't open to new players, and thus the question of participation is null for now, but it seems to have been open or semi-open in the past.
     
  12. cleverThylacine

    cleverThylacine cuddles for the weird and the fierce

    It's open if we invite you.

    It's meant to be a consistent-continuity-RP so it would never be open to someone who wanted to just drop in and post occasionally.

    It split off from SPR specifically because some people wanted a place to shitpost and some people wanted a consistent-continuity-RP. And I responded to you because I was trying to make the point that the rules are meant to encourage people who will enjoy the game as it is and DIScourage those who will not. They're not meant to give the impression that everyone is equally likely to enjoy the game.
     
    • Agree x 1
  13. Chiomi

    Chiomi Master of Disaster

    @cryptoThelematrix this remains the That's So Meta forum, generally meant for policy discussions, feedback, and broader forum issues. It's not about your RP, and we have endeavored to keep it about policy in general except when people responded to requests for specific examples of things. If you'd like to discuss your specific RP and how people relate to it further, please feel free to take it to TCHGB or the subforum already dedicated to your RP.
     
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2017
  14. cleverThylacine

    cleverThylacine cuddles for the weird and the fierce

    I really don't want to so that's good with me.
     
  15. Secret Squirrel

    Secret Squirrel certainly something

    Okay. I felt that you had firmly established this point before and thought maybe you were trying to clarify something I had gotten wrong or missed by reiterating it.

    Speaking of clarity: I would like to say that I don't have a stake in someone being wrong/right here, and I hope my commentary has not caused you undue stress. I know your feelings about the boundaries in your RP threads are strong, and given the comments of your players and your clarifications here, I have no reason to think they're inappropriate. My goal was to explain why I thought something came up in this thread and whether it was on topic, and I think I've done so succesfully. This was my goal because "arguments about whether another argument was reasonable to have" are extremely tiring and I would like to avoid them.

    And that's enough of me talking like a robot to make sure I thoroughly explain myself, there's a puppy here and I'm going to pet her.
     
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  16. cleverThylacine

    cleverThylacine cuddles for the weird and the fierce

    Never turn down a chance to pet a puppy.
     
    • Agree x 1
  17. Azurite

    Azurite Just Floating

    I don't think the new rules are conflating FtB and sex sense in the sense of "Romeo & Juliet = XTube". It's saying "An adult rping R&J with a minor would be inappropriate."
     
  18. Codeless

    Codeless Cheshire Cat

    Missing my point.
     
    • Agree x 1
  19. Petra

    Petra space case

    I think, it can be considered inappropriate without being considered the same degree of inappropriate. RPing a graphic sex scene with a minor is potentially criminal at best. RPing a romance with occasional fades to black for implied sex is potentially uncomfortable at best. See?
     
    • Like x 2
  20. Codeless

    Codeless Cheshire Cat

    Did you flip at best with at worst, or do oyu actually think potentially uncomfortable is the best/most charitable interpretation? (Honest question because I´m not sure)

    I still disagree that a measure meant to avoid sex being there is the same as a sex scene and therefore inappropriate. I just think that widens the definition of what is and is not Rping sex too far. As I´ve stated before.
     
    • Agree x 2
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