NSFW RP: consent, minors, and other boundaries

Discussion in 'That's So Meta!' started by seebs, Sep 2, 2017.

  1. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    This is seriously just circling around at this point over shit that was figured out or isn't under question.

    No one is looking to put "no romance" in the guidelines. The FTB thing was not a thing I, at least, expected anyone to know, hence the full day of debate and the explanation of it in the sticky thread draft. The personal-ness of an rp character is something for individual players to talk about and not anything we'd make guidelines over.

    Just, basically. Seebs. Can you stop? Or at least read the sticky draft that Chiomi put together first?
     
    • Like x 1
  2. Mendacity

    Mendacity I’m meaner than my demons

    to be honest I didn't mean that seebs had implied 'no romance', I was just using it as an example! Sorry for the confusion!
     
    • Like x 2
  3. AbsenteeLandlady123

    AbsenteeLandlady123 Chronically screaming

    I think it's best to plan around the worst for the actual safety of all concerned, rather than bank on it never happening. Rather than going 'it should be banned', it's better to have a discussion about the risks of that situation if it occurs, and how to minimize the odds of it happening, so that it doesn't actually happen at any point and we're all left going 'if only we'd planned for this.'


    Also aside from that and relative back to the broader conversation here there's some competing access needs. I proposed a thing in Harvey's thread which I'll copy here for tags people can use on their characters:
    "system of 'minor player' 'adult player' 'adult player okay with sexual RP with these characters' 'adult player not okay with sexual RP with these characters' which seems like it would resolve the numerous competing access needs"
     
    • Agree x 1
  4. Codeless

    Codeless Cheshire Cat

    That has already been suggested and is being at least partially done.
    People use 18+/- for adult or minor atm, and G or Gen for not ok with sex
     
    • Useful x 1
  5. AbsenteeLandLady124

    AbsenteeLandLady124 Well-Known Member

    harvey expressed some conflicted feelings about G or Gen for not okay with sex wrt their characters in their thread, which is why I proposed that part instead, due to the competing access needs thing.
     
  6. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    I just checked, we have the 18+/- thing but need to add the G/Gen thing to the sticky draft.

    @Chiomi

    I also agree that 18+ is more clear than NSFW for the forum labeling. @seebs please take note.

    If the G/Gen thing changes in the course of this conversation pls @ us so that we can keep things up to date.
     
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2017
    • Like x 1
  7. Codeless

    Codeless Cheshire Cat

    Ok I´m going to be blunt, did they ask you to bring this up on their behalf? Because if not, I saw their writing and had pointed out that the ratings do not replace asking for consent. Not ok with sexual RP is way too long to put in a title, which is where it has to go because signatures are not accessible to everyone. So a replacement for G or Gen, which I would be fine with, needs to be at least that short.

    ETA: I´m sorry but I´m just a little irritated with you suggesting something i had already suggested as if it was an entirely new idea. If you wanted to change one marker, please say that.
     
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2017
  8. Chiomi

    Chiomi Master of Disaster

    Draft - changes from last draft are italicized.
     
  9. AbsenteeLandLady124

    AbsenteeLandLady124 Well-Known Member

    I said i was going to bring it up, they liked the post. I also didn't realize you personally had suggested the thing, a lot of stuff as happened in this thread. A replacement for G or Gen is what I'm suggesting, and I added the others as wider context so it wouldn't look like i was saying only the other two were needed.
    ETA: I didn't mean to propose it as 'an entirely new idea', i was proposing an addendum, i apologize for framing it a way that made you think i was claiming credit for your idea.
     
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2017
  10. Chiomi

    Chiomi Master of Disaster

    I put NS (no sex) and NR (no romance) as suggestions in the draft, because, as discussed elsewhere but not with as much fervor, movie ratings also cover stuff like violence and swearing and specificity. I'm not specifically opposed to G if that's what everyone prefers? But, like, also-short acronyms that are more specific!
     
    • Like x 2
    • Agree x 1
  11. rigorist

    rigorist On the beach

    I'm gonna keep banging on the USE THE REPORT BUTTON drum.

    If you see something that looks skeevy and weird, get another set of eyes to look it over. I'd wager the vast majority of cases are within bounds, but we can take a look without having drama. Or just give the participants a little nudge to keep it safe without having drama.
     
    • Agree x 5
    • Like x 2
    • Useful x 1
  12. Codeless

    Codeless Cheshire Cat

    Those work! Main thing is that it has to be very short since people use the titles for actual titles.
     
    • Agree x 2
  13. Penumbra

    Penumbra hiding under cloth

    minors of the same age can and will simulate sex with each other online and get involved sexually irl, but it is our job as motherfucking adults to not get involved!!! adults should not be simulating sex with minors, point blank!
     
    • Agree x 7
  14. AbsenteeLandLady124

    AbsenteeLandLady124 Well-Known Member

    i understand what you're saying, but by saying "I'd wager the vast majority of cases are within bounds" that kinda inherently for me dismisses things ahead of time and makes me question whether anything i'm uncomfortable with is in fact something reasonable to be uncomfortable with, and then my brain goes into a loop that results in 'I'm crazy, so i'm not gonna say anything'
     
    • Witnessed x 2
  15. Lissa Lysik'an

    Lissa Lysik'an Dragon-loving Faerie

    And no one ever said otherwise. Quit being a shit-stirring anti and pay attention to the conversation
     
    • Agree x 1
  16. hmm

    hmm (think emoji)

    can we really please collectively stop using 'anti' as a meaningless buzzword for 'person talking about sexual safety in ways i dont want to hear' its gettin super grating to read
     
    • Agree x 10
  17. Penumbra

    Penumbra hiding under cloth

    lmao i guess I am a fucking anti, i'm anti many things, like fascism, racism, homophobia, sexism, and pedophilia.

    I myself was the abuser in an age gap relationship. I personally believe that had I not been involved sexually online with adults AS A KID MYSELF, this relationship wouldn't have happened. yes, i need to be accountable for my decisions, and what i did was fucked up, but it is also the adult's responsibility to not simulate sex with a minor when *they know the person is a minor*
     
    • Witnessed x 1
  18. Codeless

    Codeless Cheshire Cat

    Penumbra, Nobody is arguing in favour of simulating sex with a minor. We may disagree on what counts as simulating sex, but we agree that that should not happen.
     
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2017
    • Agree x 1
  19. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    Is there a pre-established thread that discussion of anti's can shuffle to? I don't know if one exists but there are better venues for that conversation than TSM.
     
  20. Khan

    Khan why does anyone NOT hate her

    Seebs is describing a fairly common trend he has observed in the past. Just like cT brought up "purity culture" out of nowhere, you are bringing up antis out of nowhere. It's not a gotcha buzzword with which to shut down discussion. It's a different thing that is not related to the current discussion being had.
     
    • Agree x 5
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