NSFW RP: consent, minors, and other boundaries

What I'm trying to get across is that by being semi-public, the public will see and have opinions. Can't avoid that.

Now, whether the public will have the ability to enforce those opinions is a different matter. The LiveJournal shitstorm was the result of enforcing some cockamamie rules. I probably won't be a party to that and will yell about it.

I yell real good.

 

im really uncomfortable what what i'm parsing as an implicit comparison of this to the strikethrough
some people dont want to see unspoilered/untagged discussion of sex (or violence!) (ETA: in sfw and/or minor-friendly designated spaces) and i think that's a really different issue from the strikethrough

 

What if someone's ok with sexytime rp but legit cannot stand violence stuff? Like, if we're doing this we might as well consider the ability to protect non-minors from things that could legitimately hurt them too. I'd rather get the whole shebang set up and done with to protect everyone involved because people can be creepy with violence too.

 

And you are very deeply appreciated right now. And I hope you know it.

 

it's being compared to strikethrough because people are/were genuinely concerned that this thread would end in the mods banning stuff from kintsugi rps, and the mods enforcing strict rules on kintsugi rps.

 

I lived through the strikethrough. I wouldn't have posted about it if I were comfortable. We're both uncomfortable.

 

NV for more standard violence, NEV for if you're okay with general violent conflict but have a line on extreme violence, and remembering that lack of tag does not mean automatic consent?

 

That could work! Any gray space in between to be talked out OOC?

 

Really fine-grained tags will be difficult to manage, especially if Staff gets tasked with enforcing tagging.

 

Piping in because I have relevant thoughts, but:

Hi! I'm an rper who'se been involved in roleplay on Livejournal and similar journaling sites (plus other places), and was on LJ/involved in fandom during the time Strikethrough and Boldthrough happened, which I followed closely. I definitely understand how that could make a person jumpy when being confronted about darker subjects they may want to explore in RP. But I think it's very much worth noting that the scope and purpose of things here is massively different. Strikethrough/Boldthrough was a mass deletion of journals and communities by a commercial company at the behest of a very conservative religious organization (which caught up a lot of innocent people in the crossfire), and what's happening here is rather a discussion of personal boundaries and how best to communicate and enforce them. Nobody's saying you can't rp darker subjects.

Edit: Whoops, looks like I got ninja'd in a less wordy way, but I'm leaving this here still.

 

I'd be fine with the NV/NEV distinctions as long as they come with the caveat that ooc communication is still supreme and a lack of those markings does not mean that the people in question is okay with a thing. They would be helpful as a shorthand in more freeform places (like the SPR) so we could see when characters are around that wouldn't be comfortable with, for instance, depictions of Robot War Crimes.

edit: And ultimately, it would be a helpful warning system, not necessarily an enforcable tagging system. DT is still tagged to hell and back within reason (did you know that you can only have ten tags on a thread? We found out!) but it's a... preemptive flashcards system, I guess? "Here's my green/yellow/reds for the major issues I'm seeing likely to crop up so everyone knows beforehand," which means it'll be easier to pingback someone ooc and check in on them.

 

I'm tapping out of this thread for a little while. I'll come back when I have more spoons.

I already agreed to that up thread. It's a whole subforum and it shouldn't be too hard to move.

 

oh absolutely, like. maybe before involving characters in a violent interaction it would be best to @ the player in OOC and ask if they're alright with that ahead of time as a good general standard of practice?

 

Totally fair, I'm just kind of looking at this how I've run rp sites before. It was easier then because most of the people self policed with tags, mostly because they didn't want to actively hurt each other.

This too! I was honestly thinking more as something that I could put "[EV][NSFW] Thread Title" so everyone coming in knew that it was a Very Violent Time or w/e

 

not... that I'm implying anyone wants to hurt each other here. I mean more: Once given the tools and shown how they worked, everyone generally used them without a second thought.

 

i personally don't know what markings i'd even use, other than the 18+ ones i'm using to let everyone know that i'm an adult and am comfortable with nsfw subjects. 'cause like, when it gets into "how much and what kind of violence can i handle?" and stuff like that, i honestly don't know what bothers me till i see it and i don't even get how to categorize specific instances of the thing. so if i'm significantly bothered by a thing (by my standards, because honestly, i know when i'm just being petty and i don't want a lecture on how i'm minimizing shit because i'm not complaining about everything that bugs me), i'll tell you. and if you're uncertain about whether i'll be okay with something you want your characters to do with mine, ask me.

 

I hope.

You know how I worry about these things.

 

Communication > any sort of tags pretty much ever. Like even if I see someone with full blazing 'DO WHATEVER YOUR HEART DESIRES' set of tags I'm still gonna ask, and mention things I don't like! So I don't see why that would be a problem, because I feel you on the 'not always knowing a trigger until it is tripped' thing.

So, yes. I will ask you :P