shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

(it is in fact a good evening or other time of day! The rat materializes a small ball and bops it in Lysander's direction to initiate Ball Game)

(the rules of Ball Game are that there is a ball, and you may play any form of game using it)

(ratto hops down from Ave's hand to chase after the ball)

 

You want to play? Very well. -rolls the ball back!-

 

!!!! :O
HI GUYS DONT MIND ME PLEASE KEEP PLAYING

I WANTED A RAT AS A PET AND I STILL DO BUT IM ALLERGIC TO THEIR DANDER
YOUR DANDER, I MEAN
PLEASE KEEP A DISTANCE SO I DON'T HAVE A REACTION

RATS ARE SO SMART DID YOU KNOW THEYRE SOME OF THE SMARTEST DOMESTICATED SPECIES
RATS CAN LEARN TO BOWL DID YOU KNOW THAT
MAYBE I CAN TEACH YOU HOW TO BOWL I HAVE MARBLES DO YOU WANT TO LEARN

 

! :0

(the rat was distracted but now has a mission to boop the ball towards this new person)

(gently pushes the ball towards @Jude Harley with one paw)

 

!!! THE RATS ARE ENGAGING ME IN THEIR PLAY!

[jude cautiously takes the ball, and holds onto it awkwardly]

WHAT ARE WE PLAYING?
I DONT KNOW MANY FORMAL GAMES BUT I PICK UP RULESETS VERY QUICKLY
CROSS-SPECIES COMMUNICATION MAY MAKE THIS DIFFICULT
HMM
HMMMM
hmmmmm......

OKAY I HAVE AN IDEA
[he spins the ball and gently tries to get it to orbit around the rattos, not fast enough that any harm could ever come to the rattos. nonetheless it doesn't work, it just spins off in a random direction]

 

[sniiiff] hello!!
a lot of animals are much smarter than people give them credit for :D

bec was kind of an outlier because he was some sort of actual ancient doggy god but i know plenty of other dogs who are smart good boys and girls!

 

OH HELLO! MY NAME IS JUDE I'M 13 I GO TO HAUNTSWITCH HIGH SCHOOL I'M A FRESHMAN BECAUSE I SKIPPED THE THIRD GRADE
YOU SNIFFED ME AND YOU HAVE EARS, ARE YOU PART DOG? I DIDN'T THINK PEOPLE PART DOGS WERE REAL. ARE YOUR EARS REAL?

DO YOU LIKE ANIMALS TOO?
I HAVE THREE PIGEONS AT HOME THEYRE REALLY SMART THEY CAN DO AMAZING THINGS
IVE BEEN TRAINING THEM FOR RECONNAISSANCE MISSIONS
I SHOULDNT HAVE REVEALED THAT TO A STRANGER
WHO ARE YOU?

 

you cant just ask people if theyre part dog!!
im just kidding, yes im part dog! you can pet my ears if you want to check :)

my name is jade im 21 (so old...) and i live in the troll kingdom!
and i LOVE animals even though sometimes i chase kitties
and squirrels
and rabbits...
oh jeez i kind of chase a lot of animals but i would never catch one!!! XO

 

AHH OH NO I'M SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN TO OFFEN-

OH
OKAY
[he hesitantly reaches out and touches an ear with his pointer finger. and then one more time. he's gathering Data. he's mumbling something to himself that no one else can hear about the ear and how it's put together]

YOU CHASE THEM? THAT'S WEIRD
ALTHOUGH IF YOU'RE PART DOG MAYBE IT'S NOT WEIRD
DOGS CHASE SQUIRRELS
MY DOG CAUGHT ONE ONCE IT WAS BAD

[jude looks at her intently]
ARE WE RELATED? YOU LOOK A LOT LIKE MY SISTER
AND MY PA SAID SOMETHING ABOUT US HAVING SIBLINGS OUT THERE THAT WE NEVER MET BEFORE
MOM USED TO TELL ME NOT TO ASK PEOPLE THAT
NOT WHEN I FIRST MET THEM AT LEAST
SHE SAID PEOPLE MIGHT THINK IT WAS RUDE EVEN THOUGH IT WAS A PERFECTLY NATURAL QUESTION
SHE ALSO SAID WHEN THE TIME CAME I WOULD KNOW BUT THAT SEEMS LIKE LEAVING IT TO FATE AND I DONT BELIEVE IN FATE
ANYWAYS I THINK WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER LONG ENOUGH RIGHT
DO YOU THINK IT WAS RUDE, IF SO IM SORRY FOR BEING RUDE

 

[Apparently bored with Ave and Crunchy Nibbles, a gold-tinged (but mostly white) baby insecticon hops over to Investigate New People! They chirp inquisitively at @gardenGnostic and @Jude Harley, kneading the ground instead of directly pouncing to investigate with the useful parts of their face. They know manners.]

 

-has followed the balls movement with his gaze- You are very deft, young man! -catches the ball and rolls it back over to jude-

 

[jade laughs and flicks her ear against his hand. it kind of tickles but it's cute how careful he's being!]

oh noooooo ): im sorry about the squirrel
whats your dog like though? are they a boy or a girl dog? whats their name?

i dont know ):

my family is SUPER WEIRD even ignoring the fact that some of my family is technically dogs now!
my last name is harley but maybe we are related even if that isnt your last name! im also related to egberts and crockers and englishes
whos your sister? and your parents?

OH MY GOSH YOU ARE SO CUTE!!!!

hello! :) [wagwagwag]

 

[Movement? Movement!! But. No pouncing on strangers! Manners.

They know greetings too!!! They chirp again, wings fluttering excitedly.] Hello!!! Friend??

 

THAT IS ALSO MY LAST NAME
ODDS OF US BEING RELATED ARE INCREASED TENFOLD
ALTHOUGH I DON'T KNOW ANY OF THOSE LINEAGES

WHY IS YOUR FAMILY WEIRD?
MY FAMILY IS NOT THAT WEIRD EXCEPT THAT PA ALSO HAS ANOTHER FAMILY THAT LIVES IN THE OCEAN OR SOMETHING THAT HE NEVER TALKS ABOUT ALSO HE IS VERY RARELY HOME

IF THE PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE HE LEFT BEHIND IS TO BE BELIEVED PA'S NAME IS JAKE HARLEY AND MOM IS ANNA CLAIRE
BUT I CANNOT CONFIRM THIS TO BE TRUE BECAUSE THAT EVIDENCE MAY HAVE BEEN PLANTED
...DONT WANT TO GET INTO WHY OR HOW OR BY WHO
SISTER IS JOEY CLAIRE
CAN CONFIRM THIS TO BE TRUE
SHES ALSO PROBABLY RELATED TO YOU

 

!! WHAT MANNER OF BEING ARE YOU? FRIEND OR FOE!
YOU SEEM FRIENDLY AND YOUR LACK OF ATTACK POINTS FURTHER TOWARD FRIEND
CAN YOU TALK?

 

!!! Friend!!! [They have no idea what 'foe' is but friend is a good word!!!]

Um... Some talk? Some words, lots- [they make a string of noises that would sound more appropriate coming out of a cricket or bat than a robot.] Learning words!!!

 

[excited BOOF] yes we can definitely be friends!! you are SO FUCKING CUTE!! it would be hard not to be friends with someone that adorable :)

:O jake harley was my grandpa!
or technically my dad, but he had me call him grandpa

i didnt know that i had any other family thats so cool!!!!!
john egbert is my brother and its really weird but lets just say jake english and jane crocker are my brother and sister too
its weird because of some really crazy stuff you probably wouldnt believe! time travel and super powers and making the laws of physics do what i say, i wouldnt believe me either if it hadnt happened to me

 

!!!!! [Excited chirping!! They groom their face, preening a little.] Yes cute!!! Cute and good!! Good friends!!!!! [They edge a little closer to Jade, kneadkneadkneading the ground. Pouncing while people are talking is not mannerly, but! Play? Play???] Play??? Talk? Play??

 

[PLAY!!! jade bends over, hands on her knees, and wiggles her butt in a bipedal approximation of a play bow]

what kind of play is good for you? i dont want to accidentally hurt you or do something you wont have fun with!
do you like.....
......
.........BALL?

 

Ball?! [Their face is not exactly built for smiling, but they bounce in place, still chirping excitedly.] Chase!!!! Chase ball!!