Customer Service Thread

We don't usually get to customer service in the lab (Thank all deities) but sometimes people wander in and like

We have a doctor responsible for all the hospital employees (as you need) and well this time one of the cleaning ladies came in. With like a really heavy accent which doesn't make things easier if you're talking medical slang with someone who doesn't have the best understanding of medical slang to begin with but insists on using it and like
I needed ten minutes to convince her, arguing in circles that no i cannot tell her why the result from the other lab she had done during blood donation 6 weeks ago came back different because 1) i don't have access to the tests results from the other lab 2) I am not actually a doctor 3) i don't even do the test in question we send them in to HQ 4) I don't know your file or history yes you can tell me this but you've already proven that you're not firm on the terminology of these two very similar things 5) i am not actually a doctor please talk to your health professional not me, the lab tech

Like, please accept 'i cannot help you please talk to the doctor' as a valid reasoning.

And occasionally patient from Out of house (ooh) doctors wander by to bring in samples and last time this happened the dude - who looked like he might have been one of the divers - complained about me not being polite enough when I went 'ok, I'll start right away' to his 'here' - holds bag with sample out to me - move. Like he legit came back, knocked and started berating me until my boss rescued me and told him that we're busy here and the less people bother us the quicker everyone can get their results. Dude even dropped in a casual 'I'm with the press' like good for you??

(usually everyone else who wanders into the lab are either hospital employees or the drivers, both groups of people who are as strapped for time as we are and therefore neither expect nor actually want smalltalk)

 

I was talking to someone about how they liked where they worked and how it compared to where I work, and he loves it, except for one thing.

Him: how many people have been killed at your shop?
Me: NONE! GOD! How many people have been killed where you work?
Him: Stabbings or shootings?
Me: I'm scared to ask.
Him: 9 stabbings, 5 shootings, and those are just the ones where the victim died.

 

Convince them to quit.

 

Yeah, that's...a situation where they should be looking for another job. Like, it's nice that they love it except for one thing but uh, that one thing is a really big thing. That said, looking for a new job while currently employed is supposed to make it a lot easier to find a good place than trying to find one while unemployed.

 

walmart is a special kind of hell. walmarts in the ghetto are even more so

 

Today is I am going to kill someone levels of busy.

 

Yesterday I had a customer pay by check for a total of $1 dollar. I hope there's a special spot in hell reserved for them.

 

oh my fucking god???

 

"Where is [X brand]?" customer asks, standing directly in front of X brand's display.

 

[reposted on my sooper seekrit subaccount so i can use this excellent thread without paranoia]

customer: do you have apple pay?
me: no
customer: let me try it
me: we don't have apple pay
customer: it's beeping, though
me: it's not going to go through
customer: oh, it didn't go through. okay

 

"wants everyone to be as happy as possible, within reason"

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

 

I once had to pay for a 13 dollar grocery run with a check after my wallet got stolen. I felt like a piece of shit.

 

I still don't understand how checks are still a thing in America. It's so foreign to me. The only kind of check I have ever seen is the monstrously big ones they use for special occasions (charities, lottery winners etc.)

 

They suck, but they enable me to pay my rent. Also I can't bitch toooo hard because if I hadn't had checks back then I wouldn't have been able to get gas or buy food for a week and those both. Needed to happen.

 

When my bank cancels my debit card because of security leaks at various places (often without warning) checks are the only way I have to get cash. Also when I worked at the salon, checks were actually preferred for tips for various reasons.

 

That’s different, and that’s actually an okay amount anyway, as opposed to A Dollar. Don’t beat yourself up over it, it’s okay.

 

customer: it's a friday! time to celebrate! isn't it great? whoo-hoo, friday!
me, scheduled to work long shifts all weekend: