Since we seem to derail into AU's in the complaints department thread whenever a certain someone posts about ooc headcanons, I thought I'd make a thread to collect hem and move them to. For anyone to play with or add to! Enjoy these strange and crazy Kintsugi AUs.
Game Store AU Cronus as one of THOSE guys that you find in game stores. Being one of those absolutely ruthless jerkwads that will fuck you over anyway the games will allow (and maybe someways it doesn't if he thinks he can fudge things while you aren't looking). He's the guy that no one EVER wants to play with because either he WILL WIN, or he will lose and SULK FOR EVER, and declare that game a stupid weenie game for babies, and anyway the only reason he didn't win is because the mechanics make the game too random and favor people who play without skill. Cronus as that magic/yugioh/whatever card game player that always wins because he's fucking rich and he can just buy what ever the fuck rares he wants off ebay Kankri is the clerk who always has an opinion on every game. Sollux, Aradia, Eridan ((Their dad makes Cronus take Eridan to the game store with him whenever he goes to tournaments)) and Roxy and John playing some sort of MMO on the store computers in the back, shit talking each other Tavros would be THE best fiduspawn player, but Cronus a) net decks and b) ptiches fits, bribes the judges, and will push wins on technicallities every freaking week, so he's ranked as the second best (but in regional tournaments where Cro can't get away with that shit Tavros sweeps the whole thing). Tavros is so infuriatingly polite when he plays. He'll shit talk with the best of them but he's also the guy the stands up and shakes your hand and says shit like, "tHAT WAS A GOOD GAME, i HAD FUN!" Tavros and Aradia both are those people in the chat making people rage quit with how positive and nice they are. Aradia even more so because she's so happy about CREEPY SHIT. Team charge has a sickeningly positive, anime protagonist rap. Dave wrote it for them. (Dave and Aradia also talk about ways to preserve dead things. Don't stand in the same room as them and attempt to eat lunch, it will not go well.) Mituna, Latula and Dave hang out behind the store because this shitty little town doesn't have an actual, decent skate park (Dave doesn't skateboard, he just raps while Mituna and Latula suggest innuendos and puns for his sick rhymes). He's only there because Dirk comes around to fix the computers or make upgrades to the store website, or impliment a new program for scanning stock... Gamzee also hangs out behind the shop, drinking Faygo and rapping with Dave and just. Being there? No one knows where he comes from or where he lives. Karkat GMs a pen and paper on the weekends and makes fun of the computer gamers for being too dumb/unimaginative for REAL rpgs, gotta let the COMPUTER do all the work (secretly he's hoping to goad them into playing because he is getting real tired of dealing with Terezi and Vriska's shit). Karkat's worst days are when all the flarpers sit down with their brand new character sheets and wait for him to set up a new game. "ALRIGHT, CHUCKLE FUCKS, CAN YOU MANAGE TO COMPLETE AT LEAST ONE ADVENTURE WITHOUT TURNING THE ENTIRE TOWN AGAINST YOU, OR DYING HIDEOUSLY AND PAINFULLY IN SOME EXTREMELY EMBARRASSING MANNER?" "1TS NOT MY F4ULT THE H4LF DR4GON D34TH KN1GHT 4TT3MPT1NG TO INC4RN4T3 THE 4N13NT DR4GON QU33N GODD3SS H4D 4N 3XTR3M3LY H1GH CH4R1SM4 SCOR3, K4RK4T!" "and it's not my fault he had a gi8nt hoard of gold and priceless treasure to distract my poor character with." "SO THE ANSWER IS NO, THEN." "NOP3." "nah." Karkat despairs.
And suddenly everyone's alert boxes go BATSHIT. Let me know if you contributed, I'm sure I missed something.
Eridan's neverending hair saga. Imagine if he got to the pool, swam, and then realized he forgot his fancy conditioner. just the conditioner.
Anyone into Runaways? Been thinking about a pretty basic AU for a while now. One of those "role swap" kinda deals. Here're some of my notes. Spoiler: boring Gavin (Khan?)= Xavin, child of banished Skrull Prince Tahrin (Tamsin), mother unknown(to Xavin), accompanied by bodyguard Ewe'farek (Frank, brother of Xavin's mother). They aim to conquer earth and use it as a base to regain their status among the Skrull Empire. Tamsin considers her(/him)self too honorable to betray the group, but Frank wants for only his prince and her heir to survive and doesn't care whether or not the others make it. A lot gentler, still arrogant and prickly. Kind of shy/socially awkward, embarrassed to be seen as anything but stoic. A stickler for the rules, prime suspect for traitor. Careless about people's emotions, but pretty safety conscious/ a bit of a worrywart. His parents use a drug to suppress his powers, will not know about or be able to access his abilities till a few weeks away, after going through a very scary withdrawal period. Will flip between identifying as a girl and a boy, privately, before throwing up their hands and deciding not to think or talk about it ever again. [Karolina is the child of banished majesdanian criminals, grew up basically a space pirate. Comes to earth to find Xavin in the hopes of using him to start a war between Tarnek V(sp?) and Majesdane. A lot more upfront and assertive, but still pretty insecure.] Victor (forget his last name), child/creation of mother, former lab assistant of Hank Pym and privy to more knowledge than is reasonable of Ultron's inner workings. Father is a 'bot modeled after Ultron, but made on a budget and sporadically upgraded with whatever materials she has on hand. Cyberneticly enhanced, born of artificial insemination, biological half-sibling of Gert, the knowledge of which kills a one-sided crush of hers pretty quick. Pretty much as he is introduced; dorky, honorable, intelligent, etc. [Chase is a homeless runaway, escaped his abusive weapon's dealer parents with armfuls of their loot and has half-baked plans of becoming a grade A super villain.] Klara, child of demon/old god cultists, gets her powers from that bond. Parents Lucy and Caleb, identically stepford-smilery. Look, act, dress and talk like opposite sex clones, which bothers everyone to varying degrees. Treat their daughter kinda indigo child-esque,where they act like all her acting out is totally okay and just the result of her being special. This noticeably upsets Klara, who feels reduced to an archetype, like her parent's don't even care to get to know her, just read books about what she's like and how she'll end up. Not as hippy-dippy as her parents, spends a lot of time indoors. Doesn't know about her powers, because she refuses to do anything her parents like, which leaves most plant/nature/outdoorsy/drug kinda deals off the table. A rabid gamer, somewhat anti-social, a touch naive but tries very hard to appear older than she is. Doesn't have many friends her age. She and Xavin are the only ones who look forward to their parent's meet ups, and are the closest at the start of the story.[dunno where the fuck Molly is or what she's up to. Maybe she's still with that thief-teacher guy]
