I don't think the no rules thing is working

I'm asking about 'what level of NSFW isn't allowed' outside the 18+ content, because while I don't do it often, I may do things like make an NSFW joke about a topic somewhere that isn't the 18+ forum--I'm asking to know what level of thing should be spoilered. I pretty much never go in the 18+ area these days. doesn't mean I never in my entire life say something that might be kinda NSFW, or that other people always make every single post that might be viewed as NSFW in the 18+ area. like, yes, presumably in-depth discussion of sex and stuff would go in the 18+ area, but sometimes a person might make an NSFW joke because it fits the topic at hand in a different thread--I want to know what things are likely to need to be spoilered, even though I will typically err on the side of caution with spoilering things.

also, as one of two people who has expressed having brainbugs like that, I'm not asking for clear perfect guidelines. I'm asking for some idea of what is and is not a thing that should be spoilered in certain cases. I realize judgment may vary but I need a groundwork to build upon and I didn't see that. the flowchart is a pretty good start, I think, but I and the other person who expressed that brainbug problem haven't asked for perfect guidelines, if I'm not mistaken--just something to start from. (I don't think CT has expressed having these brainbugs, I apologize if I'm wrong.) if I don't have a clear basic idea of what is and is not acceptable in general, it's a bad time for me! and just because the brainbugs are a personal issue doesn't mean I am not allowed to request a reasonable basic set of guidelines to help me minimize the brainbugs?

.....I am having a problem here, namely: CT is the only one asking for perfect guidelines as it is, and CT has not expressed having these brainbugs to my knowledge. the only people who have openly expressed this, me and someone else, have not, to my knowledge, requested perfect guidelines. it is making me feel a bit like you are putting words in my mouth, a thing I have major problems with and do not appreciate. I am also slightly peeved by "sounds like your problem" because....yeah, but it can be helped by other people doing a thing? and the wording of "sounds like a personal problem" makes me feel....dismissed, in the sense of 'yeah but that's a YOU issue, so why should we do anything about it at all', and perhaps that's not the reading you intended but it is very much how it's coming across for me.

 

I wasn't talking to anyone specific, if that's what you're taking issue with. I was speaking in general and to the attitude currently being given to the mods that they're not doing enough to communicate guidelines that don't yet exist, or personal issues (such as issues with moving a roleplaying game to another area of the forum when to my knowledge moving it was never demanded or even requested) being brought up as if this was forced upon the game master and as if this was because of the unspoken rule of "don't talk about sex where kids might see it!" (a rule that doesn't exist).

The fact of the matter is we, being the people on this thread, have not made much if any headway with getting Seebs to agree to interject clearer guidelines. At this juncture, talking about the specifics of those guidelines is bound to get lost in discussion of whether or not we should have them in the first place. I think the sudden bringing up of NSFW guidelines is an unfortunate derail at best and a malicious "how do I make this about me" at worst, and I think some of the thought processes (such as CT begging mods tell her who reported her so she can talk to that person or those people privately) presented as a part of this derail are erring on the side of "how do i make these people shut up" in very uncomfortable ways. To date everything I've reported is because talking to the person privately is only bound to go south due to my personal feelings on the subject at best, or I'd be guilted into silence at worst, and I wanted mod assistance with making sure the thing I was reporting was valid to be uncomfortable about in the first place. The idea that mods should out me or my abuse history with users on this website in my very short time here is extremely fucking creepy and scary

 

I think certain people have shown behavior that is not very considerate of the boundaries of minors, and that that should be accounted for there and then so it dosent spiral down to a mess and a blame of “whos guilty” and instead they should just like apologize and not argue weather there was an overstep and cause a fuzz

 

Uh. Further upthread one of the mods said "we mention stuff we're doing on the Discord if we don't mention it here" and I have Problems with that.

Not everyone is on the Discord. Not everyone wants to be on the Discord. Even if they are on the Discord, they are not monitoring every word typed on it 24/7.

If you are doing mod things on the forum and you're wanting to give heads up about them, you need to do that ON THE FORUM where everyone can see it.

[edit to clarify and apologize: I totally misread that and I'm sorry.]

 

on mobile so gonna tag instead of quote, my phone likes to glitch if too much text

@Maya that makes sense. I guess it just felt pointed to me because in this thread, I’d seen only two people express brainbug stuff in post and I was one of them—but I can grok that you meant it more generally, thank for explain.
I’ll admit I’m not aware of a lot of what’s been happening on the forum—I mostly jumped in because I’ve been watching this specific thread as a topic of interest, and as a person who does benefit from at least vague guidelines, CT’s request was of interest to me. I’m not really equipped to say if I agree it was derailing, since I’ve no clue what’s been up for a bit, but that’s just why I added my two cents.
that said, I’m pretty happy with the response I got, the flowchart is helpful and tbh I was mostly just explaining why NSFW guidelines were of interest to me personally.

@spockandawe thanks for the reassurance, but I was mostly explaining why I asked about guidelines to start with—I appreciate the flow chart and what you said, and am less concerned about “what do spoiler” now. although I am gonna continue to err on the side of caution eternally :P

@seebs you’re right. I think I more meant “is a good start for my internal catalogueing”? the flowchart is v helpful, thank for flowchart.
fwiw I am not looking to you or other mods for moral authority :P just brainbugs like to yell about Wrong Thing, and it is nice to have thing to point at and go “yeah but I won’t do that in the future because have learned and guidelines exist”

 

I have no idea what "tildes" you're talking about, or what they have to do with the post you replied to. Unless you're referring to some instance elsewhere where I may have used them as a sarcasm-font indicator or an eyeroll or jazz hands or some such thing. In any case, it's not relevant to what I am talking about right now.

I am communicating that if you are going to explain actions taken on the forum, that explanation needs to be made on the forum. No, I am not "under the impression that [you] thought 'mentioned on Discord' was a substitute for announcements here," I am referencing this post:

Were the affected parties present in whatever Discord the explanation was offered in (Which Discord? You tell me, I don't know any of them), at the time it was offered? If not, then it should have been done in the thread.

 

OK, then it looks like I misunderstood what Chiomi meant, and I apologize. I parsed it as the explanation being dropped in chat, not PM'd directly to the affected parties. Sorry about that.

 

Chiomi talked to me in discord about a post she wiggled (and gave me the option of deleting or putting it in the pear wiggler, and since it was a dong joke how could I pass up the chance to say that Chiomi wiggled my dong?) bc I'm more likely to see and respond to things quickly on discord

 

In case using spoilers hasn't been hashed out enough, this is my personal guideline.

When to use spoilers, in threads like tumblr.txt: "Is this likely to conjure up a detailed mental image of sex/violence/death? Spoiler it."

No spoiler: "I only know of one case where two afab people sexually transferred HIV to each other."

Spoiler

"The only case I know of where two afab people sexually transferred HIV involved oral sex while the infected partner was menstruating."

 

Y’all are my favorite tetrapyloctomists. I hope you know this.

 

I'm actually not asking for perfect guidelines; there's no such thing.

What I want is something more specific than "you'll know if you did it wrong when someone complains and your post gets moved."

I want that for a number of reasons. I want that because I don't have the kind of brainbugs you do, but I know you and other people have them, and I think your request for guidelines that will help you keep them in hand is extremely reasonable.

It's pretty apparent to me that there is a not insignificant group of people whose standards are significantly different from mine.

Most of my concerns are the same as yours. I joke about sex kind of a lot. I spoiler things that I think are really blatant and that I would not say in front of people I didn't think I was friendly acquaintances with, but I hang out on sites like Gaia and Subeta with actual rules about what you are allowed to say where a much larger proportion of users are minors and I never get into trouble on those sites. I have a Cartoon Network account.

I don't have scrupulosity or problems with feeling "unclean". I have paranoid ideation that was essentially learned from having a fucked-up abusive family AND being bullied a lot in school.