Rules thread derail

in this case, one of the biggest things i take issue with is cT responding to my attempts to articulate my feelings in my own thread by dragging out, criticizing, and ripping into it in a public, active thread in which i am not allowed to respond, and using 'talking about and quoting my vent thread in public' as a lever to make me stop talking, ANYWHERE, about my opinions, because it was clearly immensely distressing to me and i requested that things not be taken from my vent thread that i did not consent to sharing with the public in a space where i couldn't remove potentially personal, sensitive information if i needed to.

this was also, iirc, before 'you can quote vent threads elsewhere was an open rule, and it was actually widely considered a huge fucking boundary violation on par with quoting ITA threads in other forums to do that, so it's not like it was fucking unreasonable of me to ask.

she also specifically refused to have a TCHGB thread with me, told me not to PM her, and--again--expressed that she was clearly pissed at the thought that people could be talking about her in private avenues where she couldn't stop them. she shut down every avenue she could in which i could talk about the thing at all, one with the threat of retaliation via something clearly distressing to me and that i considered a huge violation of privacy and boundaries, and would have taken away the others if she could have. she did all this while continuing to insult and talk about me, in public threads.

edit: ftr, however you feel about TCHGB quoting, quoting anything from a non-indexed part of the site to an indexed one is pretty fucking out of line, always.

edit 2: it occurs to me i don't 100% remember if the holler closet was a thing yet at the time, but i feel fairly certain i remember that it was.

 

saw this late, whoops.

 

No problem, This is gonna need mod help anyway for all the posts already there.

 

Tchgb? It doesn't entirely the place for it but tsm is definitely not where it should be.

 

Now that it's been moved to a more appropriate location (er, thread) I do just wanna quickly add my two cents:

the two, tops, conversations I had involving cT that involved opinions made me pretty much convinced that I was not allowed to dissent on this website as a whole. I was new at the time, but the way she steamrolled the conversation to call me or others wrong, especially in one discussion that involved a relationship highly characterized as abusive by a lot of people, readers and non-readers of the book series (Twilight), was very uncomfortable and kind of scary at the time.

There was one discussion about OC's in fanfic and namely OC/canon shipping that I stated my opinions on, and towards the end when I was kind of being an overly apologetic breakdown-y mess, she told me that my opinions would rub a certain group of shippers the wrong way, I think a small group of Gravity Falls shippers, and it was just really condescending and it sounded vaguely threatening in a way, like, to me, at the time, it read as "don't voice this opinion on tumblr, these shippers will come after you", and then shortly after that I was given a lecture on how I don't need to justify things I don't like by cT. Along with that lecture was something that ended up being directed at another user, though the post itself was directed at me, about how once such justification "annoyed the fuck" out of cT.

The two were meaningless conversations in the end, but it did make me slap cT on ignore for a very long time and avoid stating any opinions that didn't go with the flow of everyone else in the thread in fear of winding her up into a fit again, and I still kind of fear it to this day, even though I've pretty much all but left the site, that no matter how much i state something is just, like, my onion, man, that cT may come in to tell me how wrong my opinion is and how right hers is instead

 

I can't put my finger on it, but something about this is bothering me. I don't think it would go as ideally as you think it would.

 

No real commentary but some shit in this thread is making me

 

Agreeing with this, but adding:

No matter how precocious and mature an adolescent is, they also aren't the same as an adult.

There's no such thing as a "child with the mind of an adult".

A binge-drinking adult isn't going to stunt their growth, or damage growing bones, or cause damage to a developing brain. In the same way,

Spoiler: spoilered for discussion of sex/pregnancy health risks

adolescents who get pregnant are more likely to end up with seizures. Or blindness. Or heart failure. They're more likely to get cervical cancer. They're more likely to have physical trauma from sex because they may be smaller and have not fully completed puberty. Anti-depressants can cause suicidality in adolescents, and may not work as well. And so on and so forth.

And just... when you keep talking about how you look underage, most of your friends are much younger than you, people who are underage want to have sex with you, you've been attracted to and nearly had sex with lots of underage people, and it would be totally okay for a sufficiently-mature and consenting thirteen-year-old to have sex? It really starts to look questionable. "Feeling" like a teenager does not make that any less creepy.

 

ETA in the name of transparency: Originally I wanted this posted anonymously because I feared becoming a target but now I straight don't care anymore. Here we go.

"If you're a minor and you're made uncomfortable by me but [literally any shitty excuse] then you don't get to complain!" Sorry what the fuck. Is the implication here that cT thinks there is ever any reason at all it should be okay to dismiss someone's discomfort? Is the implication here that some minors are "freaky enough" that they can never be uncomfortable with you, so if they say they are, they are lying? How is it appropriate to call this "pull[ing] the minor card" or to handwave away someone else's discomfort because you really want to have your speculative biology sex talk?

How are teenagers making penis jokes AT ALL equivalent to the pattern of behavior cT has exhibited towards minors, ESPECIALLY TOWARDS YOUNG BOYS, as in:

Spoiler: NSFW text.

1. her infamous smut fic of an eleven year old boy getting sexually abused But He Totally Wanted It And It Was Great And Positive And How Dare You Call It Anything Else Because An Eleven Year Old Can Totally Consent,

1. repeatedly bringing up how she Totally Could Have Gone Home With A Fifteen Year Old At A Convention (spoiler: this shit never happens, and as someone who was one of those young teenagers cornered at conventions by creepy mouth-breathing adults, I could always absolutely tell they weren't nineteen or twenty-one or whatever lie they came up with), and
2. this frightening business about how "troubl[ing]... consent culture" is for her generation:

Spoiler alert: assaulting someone IS a wrong action. Sexually abusing a child IS a wrong action. Regardless of time elapsed. Regardless of how bad you feel about it. Regardless of whether or not the victims could be bullied into silence.

And INB4 you call people antis for thinking it is wrong to sexually abuse children:

Spoiler: NSFW text.

Antis prioritize harm to fictional characters over harm to real people. This is harming real people. I don't give a shit about that fanfiction except as an example of cT looking at something that is unambiguously sexual abuse of a minor and saying, "No, really, look! It's fine because he liked it!" It's the fact that she will die on this hill that It's Fine If The Kid Liked It in real life, not the fact that she wrote the goddamn thing in the first place.

This behavior is so densely packed with red flags there's nowhere to stand. It is genuinely frightening to behold. It is causing myself and others physical symptoms of sickness as a result of stress because seeing fifty-three-year-olds brag about how they totally could have gone home with fifteen-year-olds hits home for a bunch of people who were taken advantage of by adults who thought they were doing nothing wrong, that the age of consent should be lowered, and that they're totally innocent because those young hot minors seduced them into committing a sex crime.

 

Tossing this one under a spoiler because if it's half as upsetting to read as it was to write, you'll thank me.

Spoiler: Potentially upsetting.

Also, like, if any part of your position boils down to the idea that because children sometimes know what sex is and/or simulate it, they should be able to have sex with adults, I have some very upsetting news for you about why very young children may sometimes know what sex is and/or simulate it. It's not "because their parents/coach/priest/uncle was a cool and positive sex educator." It's the other thing. Yeah. That thing.

And now I'm taking a break before my heart gives out.

 

yeah i. wanted to wait until a response post, but. will put this under a cut for now. Like, I know this will be hella stressful to catch up on. I know it'll really suck to hear people coming forward and explaining why they're afraid and upset. But it would be doing a disservice not to.

Spoiler

Spoiler: look i don't want to contribute to a dogpile so i'm putting it under a cut, to be read when ready. this is gonna be upsetting, it's important for you to read and listen too anyway.

You want quotes? Okay. A while back, I got alarmed by your posts, I spent a while looking to see if the thing that triggered it was an isolated incident or not. I found a lot of intensely creepy shit spread across the site. Here's an instance of it, bolding mine, where you dismiss that a relationship could be abusive if the man backs down. Invalidating, often incorrect, presented as a Total Fact.

https://kintsugi.seebs.net/threads/...-thread-raaaaaaaave.3908/page-799#post-444068 for some reason it's not letting me post this directly, but you talk about sexually charged encounters with teens more than once, and make sure to emphasize that you don't want to fuck someone underage - correct! - but also point out each time how attractive they were anyway - creepy!
These kinds of posts and the lack of boundaries are why also it's really fucking alarming to see you in a minor's thread telling them that some forms of incest aren't incest and the fucking bowie thing. And no, I wasn't sent by any of the minors on the site to talk to you about this, these are my own observations.
https://kintsugi.seebs.net/threads/...-thread-raaaaaaaave.3908/page-421#post-385006 - A minor has an idea about a thing to do with anti's, you respond with this:

So like, in case you're confused, this is why this is fucked up: you immediately make it about you. You then make it about your fucking porn you've written and how someone got a bad impression because of it. Also, given that you say in the post Beldaran quoted that:

It is apparent that you genuinely believe there's nothing wrong with those sort of relationships. So you get super defensive when that's criticized in fiction you write.
https://kintsugi.seebs.net/threads/tumblr-txt-cw-possibly-not-mind-safe.231/page-195#post-64909 such as here.

You were involved in an extended rp where you were having an 11 year old be sexually aggressive with an older partner at times, you got mad when people were upset about this for the irl implications...but you actually believe that if the kid is consenting then it's fine. The thing is with anti's is that almost everyone they critique understands the difference between what's acceptable in fiction and what's acceptable in reality - you argue that things that aren't acceptable in reality should be. You are the normally imaginary person they're reacting against, an older person who keeps insisting that it's fine if the kid wanted it. Not in those exact words, but in your philosophy. What your adult partners did while you were 15 was a crime. The age of consent around the states is 16. Regardless of you feeling it's unfair that your adult partners would have been demonized, it's still illegal and it's illegal for damn good reasons.
This is a problem with your basic beliefs, which contrasted against how you talk about underage relationships, your lack of boundaries and your behavior looks incredibly predatory.
Regardless of your lack of interest in pursuing sexual relationships with teenagers, you cannot leave their boundaries alone and actively advocate that if both parties are down with it, an underage person should be able to have sex with whoever they want, and have done so multiple times to a very much underage user on this site. This is actively harmful and if a teenager you were interacting with didn't know better, that could actually lead to them entering into a sexually exploitative relationship with an adult, unlike fanfiction.
These were just a tiny quite five minute sample of posts I just did a brief search for. You post so prolifically about this shit that it's not at all hard to find. This is why I find you creepy, you're an adult arguing that kids should be able to fuck whoever they want, and you're an adult who has tried to convince an actual kid of this.
I'm not doing anti handwaving and Think Of The Children, or trying to speak for the underage users on the site, I'm an adult who has watched you interact with minors on this site and been deeply fucking alarmed as a result of other things you post. I'm not saying you are a predator, I'm saying you're acting like one. And yeah, this'll be deeply upsetting to read- do better. I've been keeping quiet about this shit for months and getting more and more and more concerned.
NOTE: DO NOT PING THE MINOR IN THE QUOTED POSTS IN THIS THREAD.

 

Okay, mod question. To what extent is it acceptable and/or appropriate to bring up what someone has done on other sites? cT has had a very active internet presence for a long time, and while I don't want to contribute to dogpiling, I also feel like a few things might be relevant to this discussion.

 

McFuckin do it

I’m sick of the predatory bs