Bad, Hilarious, Or Just Absurd Baby Names

Shyann. Presumably, what they wanted was Cheyenne.

 

I’ve seen Chayanne. And recentl I had a customer named Kasci.

 

I have a friend named Austin. That's said friend's given name. (Austin is also cis. Pointing that out for reasons that will quickly become clear.)

"Okay," you might say, "but Austin is a perfectly nice name!" And it is...but not so much on a girl.

Yeah. Her parents named their daughter Austin. Apparently they'd had their hearts set on the name because all her older siblings (she's the youngest) are boys and they assumed that meant she'd be one too, even though that's...not how it works??

She's a total sweetheart, and I'm sure her parents are fine people, but...yeahhhhh. Questionable naming choice IMO.

 

Wait so is Cheyenne pronounced shy-ann? From reading it I always figured it was shy-enn.

Edit: i mean re: austin, at least she can put her name on resumes and benefit from people assuming she's a guy? Sort of sarcastic but my mom said that's the reason her friend named her own daughter sydney

Also i've met someone who I assume is a cis woman with the first name Tyler

 

I had a classmate (also a cis girl) by that name. To make matters worse, her middle name was Reid, so she didn't even have a feminine middle name.

(She was also a massive bitch, but that's unrelated.)

And that was common practice in the 80s, IIRC, giving girls masculine names for that reason...which had the added effect of making a lot of originally-masculine names come across as "too girly" for boys. So I'm not exactly a fan. :P

(And I think Cheyenne is pronounced kinda in between the two? Closer to shy-ANN, though. I think.)

 

Yeah, the friend's daughter is in her late 20s I think, so the timeline would work out. My mom and her friend were born in the early 1950s.

Also i think that just naturally happens, like Allison and Madison. I knew a girl a few years younger than me named Mason. Also it's weirdly variable by region, I live somewhere now where people were a little incredulous that I didn't view Kelly as a unisex name

 

Eh, in some cases it's a natural evolution, but from what I understand there are a lot of names that were kind of irreversably turned into Girl Names (TM) during that time period specifically because of the whole "give your daughters masculine names" thing?

The irony here is that my middle name, which I myself chose because fuck my given name, is one of them, but I didn't know that when I picked it. (It's Cassidy, for the record.)

Honestly I'm more baffled by parents who ONLY decide on a name for one (1) possible gender for their child, and then...just use it even if their kid comes out not (insert sex here)? And it only seems to happen with baby girls, weirdly enough--I know one cis guy whose given name is Jessie (he goes by Jay for that very reason), but at least that was probably used as a variation on Jesse, which is masculine, and there's Dan Avidan's given name being Leigh (with Daniel being his middle name), but in both of those cases it was entirely a matter of spelling, whereas I've known multiple cis girls who have names that I cannot at all parse as feminine.

 

The NFL player Christine Michael (pronounced "Kristin") is a male example. And apparently he's happy with it, because his son is Christine Michael Jr.

 

might be because of what the docs and nurses told the parents

i know my mom was sure i was gonna be a boy because the docs said so

except this was before our shitty area apparently had any form of ultrasound so they were basing it on my size/weight (bigger is manlier!) instead of any actual sneak peak at my bits

the doc's assessment was gonna be wrong regardless, but it turned out wrong in a way even my transphobic grandparents could grasp

*edit* technically they kept the same name, just "feminized" it
it was a garbage name anyway so im not all that miffed about tossing it at the first available moment

 

Okay this is long overdue but I have two new ones I’ve encountered.

First is Jadriana. It sounds like the parents couldn’t decide what to name them and just mashed two names together.

Second is Krew, which is not only not a name, but is also spelled wrong.

 

Met a girl named Bimbo just a few days ago. She was a tan-skinned blonde...and a college graduate.

I have never felt so bad for anyone.

 

... as her actual legal name? That poor woman.

 

The parents tho

Why they do that

 

Sheesh. Randy is a terrible name, but at least it’s a name. But bimbo?? Really?

 

Not actually a bad name, but a name-related thing I'm mildly annoyed by.
The Corsican version of the name Anthony is "Antone". Which is always a fun time when typing "anyone" on my phone.

 

...I would not wanna be the person sharing a name with this dude and I'm never gonna be able to think of anything else.

 

I know a woman named Bambi. Just...let that sink in.

(Still not as bad as Bimbo though, what the fuck.)

 

Not an actually-bad example (it's only bad if you use nicknames for both names), but I have a friend named William Richard, and apparently his father and grandfather had the same name.

He jokes that he's Willy Dick The Third.

 

my grandpa is Duncan III and i am so very tempted to birth Duncan IV

can i do that? how do numerals work

 

I knew a guy who was a fourth, he may have written it like that
(Eta he still is a fourth, we just dont talk much anymore)