Birds with Santa Hats: Kite plays Hatoful Boyfriend: Holiday Star

Gawddammit! Cawdammit!

 

::3

 

Happy New Birb!
The birbs themselves are still stuck a bit before Christmas though.

Sakuya's tree looks painfully vanilla and plain. So plain, in fact, that I'm not even going to post it. The gull guard is also here, and I was so tempted to make a "what hand?!" joke.


In the meantime, Ryouta and Matsuri gently roast Sakuya because he's a hopeless bachelor who didn't even know how to clean until someone shoved a mop into his wings and made him learn it by doing. I have the feeling it was Matsuri. On the upside, it means that he wasn't completely uselessly at cleanup, and on the other upside it's such beautiful trolling that he would like to preen because he's aristocracy of course he did well, but on the other hand it's cleaning. You can gently troll Sakuya into being a decent and considerate person by telling him people look to him as a shining example, so being exemplary would benefit his image.


In the meantime, a letter gets pushed under the door, and the mochi birds show up again. Sakuya also tempts fate, because he's a moron. The mochi birds do concede that they can't simply carry the tree outside and need some heavy machinery.


Yeah, that's what I've been asking myself as well. At this point, I'm thinking teleportation.

We are then treated to a futile chase scene that ends in downtown with the crew returning to the mansion as they've lost the mochi birds.
And then we get the news that the mansion is being attacked.


Just leaving that here.


Welp.

Interesting PSI symbol on that tank, too. Considering the size of the mochi birds, the tank itself is probably like, Smart Car sized.

 

They also brought live ammunition. Have they not learned anything from the council room tree...?
Sakuya, stop complaining, there's a timeline in which you move into Matsuri's house.


In the meantime, I go challenge the tank.


Nothing I could possibly say could make this any better.


Normal attacks, however, are ineffective against steel type monsters.


Yuuya arrives with a weapon and manages to disrupt the tank's movements. How the physics of that work I have no idea. In the meantime, Matsuri and Yuuya team up in trolling Sakuya. With friends like these... Speaking of, Matsuri, why the hell didn't you bring one of your battleaxes as accessory?


And there I thought I was on the library staff.


Oh dear.

 

They take the moment of surprise to take a potshot at Matsuri, who gets shuffled out of the way by Yuuya, who is subsequently gravely injured.


....nevermind.


Fatbird to the rescue! And he's so damn Tsundere about it, too.


The better to taste you with, Yuuya.


Matsuri, NO. Damnit, the biggest weapon of the mochi birds is that everyone thinks they're too cute. I, for one, and I can't believe I'm saying this, agree with Sakuya in wanting to roast them. The doctor disagrees though. It seems he only kills people he's interested in. Fuckin fat bird.


Edit: Doctor Iwamine throws a Pokéball!
I though it'd be an idiot ball of some sort, but it turns out to be a grenade. I like your style.


I'm not giving it to you, no matter how many times you do or don't ask.


It's a gas grenade of some sort which apparently only hurts them.


That's pretty nasty, and also explains why the doctor asked me if I was allergic to soy earlier. How considerate of him.

 

We drag the mochibirds to a dark alleyway to dispose of them the mansion to interrogate them. After some coaxing they reveal that

1. They can, in fact, say something other than "Merry Christmas"
2. Their names are Miru and Kaku
3. They have a tragic backstory:

They were a lab accident, but deemed not interesting enough. Now I don't know if it's asset reuse, but that up there? Is the lab hidden under St Pigeonation's, as seen in BBL. Something smells.


I KNEW IT--

Wait what?


I'm calling bullshit. They actually have hands.

The conversation shifts to what should be done with them.


Sakuya ever-lawful suggest they be tried, but Matsuri and Yuuya question whether they exist as people in front of the law. The doctor concurs with the negative. Matsuri strongly objects and says that they shouldn't get killed for what they've done. Damn gurl you're pretty dang nice for someone who has to hunt and gather for survival...













The doctor suggests they be given into his custody. Matsuri naturally objects on grounds of it being, well, fucking fat bird, but Sakuya is having none of it, and the doctor says he isn't planning on hurting them, with the operative word being "yet". Yeah, something smells fishy here. He was definitely involved in this, and by law of conservation of detail I hereby suspect Ryouta's father to have been the scientist who created them.
Too bad we don't know if Matsuri ever met Ryouta's dad, or I'd know if my crack theory that they're actually Ryouta's and Matsuri's ectochildren holds any water.
But I wouldn't be surprised at this point.