Super General Advice (the thread for advice without making a thread)

The whole Kindle smut thread and my discussions of it on Reddit are distressing me to a disproportionate amount. I wanted to learn to write such things to earn money because I'm desperate to have some kind of productive money-making work, but the only things which reliably sell actively upset me. I know it shouldn't matter, but it's just making it clear to me that I'll never be able to even pretend to process things the way everyone else does and I'll never be able to create things anyone wants to buy. I'm sick of literally nothing I do to be a productive human being ever working.

 

how often does a car actually need an oil change? googling it turned up some FIERCE DEBATE with lots of conflicting answers. every 3000 miles? every 5000 miles? every 10,000 miles? it depends on the oil? HALP.

(my old car had an oil leak, so i had to put in at least half a quart of fresh oil every month, which meant i was essentially getting continual oil changes and i would go a long time between full-on changes. that car lived 21 years this way. but i know that won't fly with my current, non-leaky car.)

 

Depends on your engine! The recommended interval as well as the type of oil you need should be in your owners manual, or if you don't have one, Google your year/make/model/trim and it should be on the internet.

Edit: for example my old kia needed a change every 3k miles but my Subaru only needs every 6k.

 

the owner's manual says to go by what the Engine Oil Life System readout on the display says, which is supposed to monitor oil quality. problem is it never got reset after the last time i got an oil change, so it's been inaccurate for a long time. (according to the manual, i should be able to reset it myself, but it's never worked when i've tried.) the manual then says that if there's a problem with the system to just do it after 3000 miles.

so... i guess 3000 miles? but that reads to me an awful lot like "idk just be on the safe side and do it after 3k." and different Chevy Cobalt owner's forum threads are, of course, full of argument over the REAL interval.

(TIL there are forums for owners of my specific model of car.)

 

In that case, honestly I'd just check your oil after 3000 miles. If it looks fine, check it at 4000, and if it's fine then, check it at 5000. If it's low or looks dark or gunky, get it changed.

Edit: a quick and dirty guide to checking your oil - check it after your engine has been off for at least fifteen minutes and preferably when it hasn't been running for a good little while. Take out your dipstick and wipe it clean on a rag to make sure you get a clear reading, then dip it back in the oil. The oil should be translucent and a sort of golden brown with no gritty bits. Your dipstick should have two marks on it, minimum and maximum, and your oil should be between those lines. If you don't mind getting your hands a little dirty, feel the oil to make sure there's nothing in it. If the level is too close to the minimum line or the oil is dark, you need a change. If it's in the middle and translucent, you're good for another five hundred to a thousand miles.

 

thank you, that's super helpful! it's getting close to 3k so i'll give it a look.

 

Does anyone here who owns a Kindle Fire know of a good app for watching your own videos? The default video player is really hard to navigate.

 

How am I supposed to get better at my cosplay when my dad can’t know I like dressing like a girl and my mom thinks I need to grow up and stop cosplaying entirely?

 

My initial reaction is just "fuck them do it anyway", but maybe more practically...

• Practice sewing skills with clothes you could wear day-to-day
• Similarly, practice altering clothes for yourself/other people
• Help out friends that need to make props
• Try something like an improv or acting class
• Help friends with makeup or try it yourself in private
• Maybe practice planning? Like, choose an outfit/character and plan in detail what you would do to make the outfit/get accessories/etc

 

None of the ways to get Instagram to work on a PC will work and my phone refuses to show any internet pages at all - I just get a blank white screen. Do we have a tech troubleshooting thread?

EDIT: Never mind, I got it working!

 

I'm going to assume that "fuck them do it anyway" isn't an option - hard to know the exact stakes of "dad can't know" but I'm assuming this means you can't do it in the house. I'm also assuming that "nowhere practice or make things" is your main obstacle to getting better - there are plenty of resources online for technical cosplay things. I have a couple ideas for doing it in secret, but it's going to depend on how much independence you have, and how nosy your parents are. Some of these may sound like obvious things and you have probably already thought of them, but I am trying to be thorough.

Spoiler: A long wall of probably mostly useless ideas

If you can find someone whose house you are able to go to for cosplay stuff and store your cosplay stuff at, that could be a good option. They need not be a cosplayer, just an understanding person. Maybe they can study or something while you sew and practice make-up.

But, not everyone has friends or family members that are both willing and able to help in this way. If that's the case, I suggest contacting your local cosplay community somehow, if there is one. A facebook group? A club? Something. If there is any kind of resource like that out there, contact them explaining your situation. I am pretty confident that they'd be willing to help, befriend you, whatever - odds are, there's some kind of cosplay craft-style meet-up that they do anyway! Seriously, I would be super surprised if they weren't sympathetic to your position. If a younger cosplayer approached me and my friends and asked if there was anywhere they could store their cosplay contraband and work on things regularly, we would definitely step up.

If this isn't an option, I might suggest doing a similar thing, but with the queer community. I don't know your story, and this is somewhat dicey if you're a straight cis person being punished for non-identity-related gender-nonconforming, but even then, you may find sympathy. Other options include the theatre community, or any kind of crafternoon thing, or creative collective. It's really going to depend what's in your area, but try everyone! There's no need to give personal details when you approach any of these people.

If community is not an option, we get into the options that involve some amount of money. Things you could potentially rent/pay for:
A locker? Perhaps at a train station, a community centre, even a pool? Anywhere you could potentially rent indefinitely
A storage container big enough to keep your things in and potentially work in
A desk in a shared art or sewing studio
A sewing or costume design class? This may be harder to hide if you formally enrol somewhere, and again, depends on income.

Libraries do not generally mind if you work on something quietly, even if it's clearly unrelated to books. This may not extend to sewing machines and paint, but hey. Also useful if one of your problems is online resources.

All of these options would involve lying to your parents. I'm assuming you're okay with that - it sounds like they are being unreasonable, and you do not owe them the truth about this. But, if you're spending a lot of time away from home, you may need to explain that. It's going to depend how good you are at lying and how nosy they are, but all the standard options including "studying at a friend's house," "I've been going for walks" and Faking A Sport could be good options.

If you absolutely can't do it anywhere else, I second @Saro in that you should practice the sewing and skills parts on more innocuous things, and plan in secret. It may also be possible to work on things in secret as well, but you're going to have to weigh the potential consequences of getting caught, and you know better than anyone where a good place in your room/house to hide things could be. If your parents found a locked suitcase in your room under your bed, would they demand you open it? Are they likely to look for it in the first place? Sorry for the huge wall of ideas, I'm trying to throw out as many options as possible knowing limited details. My heart goes out to you, though, and I really hope you find a way to make this work. If not, well, someday it won't matter what your parents think.

 

Okay no irl person has managed to answer this for me the way i'm looking for: literally what the fuck is doing your taxes. I have two W2s that I cannot work on now (one has the wrong social security number, the other disappeared into the abyss of my room, i will clean my room to try and find it tomorrow and if i dont tell my work when i go in monday, will call other job about the wrong number thing friday) and I'm getting the impression 'follow the steps on turbotax for free' is the best way to do that right now.
That said, I also have a 1099. filing that with turbotax would cost me 60 bucks, i am not willing to do that at all. so literally what the fuck is regular filing taxes. I have a PDF form. what do I do with it??? do I send it to someone? How? Do I fill more forms out? Where????? literally I have no clue what the fuck doing your taxes even looks like or what it means. If I was doing my W2's in a paperly format would I be mailing these slips to the government and waiting for them to send me money??? am I going to fail to get my new W2 in time since it took me so long to realize there was an error and the irs will tax my soul??? I'm so confused and having so much executive dysfunction because googling taxes comes up with so many people trying to get you to give them money so they can do your taxes and i just want to do the thing without getting potentially poorer. like i should be getting a decent return but considering i'm down $400 from paying my first two months of student loan repayment any return i get will just go straight into my savings??? blugh

 

In the US, if you're below a certain income, you can do it online for free on the IRS website (plus the one for whatever state you're in). Since the website has, like, descriptions and help buttons, it's a huuuge improvement over trying to figure out the paper forms.

 

Many thanks!!!!! Since I am pretty sure I didn't quite reach 5 digits of income this year I definitely qualify cx;

 

I need an alternative to being on antidepressants.

 

Why?

 

What are you treating with antidepressants? I ask because they are sometimes used to treat anxiety. (I have many feelings about this but they’re not really relevant here.) If it’s depression, you could try therapy instead. If it’s anxiety, there are several other medication options and also therapy.

 

I yelled at someone on Tumblr that I don't want to be cured of autism because I'm not the one that sucks so it's society that should change. How do I get myself to really deep-down actually believe that? :(