sorry i don't make the rules: ridiculous/lighthearted headcanons

Frisk becomes quite a good cook! However, it's a good idea to have someone else in the kitchen with them, just because of their tendency to autopilot error and put things away in the wrong spot/absentmindedly stash things in their pockets/put something down in a weird spot and forget about it.

Meanwhile Chara...look, they thought that flowers could be a substitute for butter. Do not let Chara cook unsupervised. They are however very good at the prep parts of cooking, like chopping things up, and so Frisk will happily recruit them for Dinner Help.

Asriel is worse because at least Chara understands ovens.

 

My friend pitviperofdoom concluded that Mike from Motorcity is related to Murdoc Niccals. They do look alike!

 

In Mossflower, it actually is possible to make a stabbing weapon out of a rat pelvis.

 

There's a running joke in Sonichu fandom about Magi-chan being gay and it's intended as a joke, but canon evidence suggests he's attracted to people outside the binary; his designated love interest was the intersex Silvana, and Chris' Facebook updates claim Magi-chan later married Mewtwo, who is genderless in the games and has been voiced by both male and female actors in the movies.

 

I like to think that Gogo in Final Fantasy VI is Gilgamesh, disoriented from his dimensional expulsion at the end of Final Fantasy V. I become more convinced of this every time Square Enix contradicts it.

 

It's my headcanon that "clod" is actually a serious swear on Homeworld, which I think I have mentioned in this thread.

As such, though, it's now my headcanon that Peridot swears like a sailor.

(So does Amethyst, but like, I figure that's just canon)

 

alphys has gecko-like hands and feet

she can climb on walls

sometimes she wakes up to find she's stuck herself to the wall in her sleep by mistake

 

wes from pokemon colosseum knows how to make and modify pokeballs. the portable snag machine was actually his own design. he collects broken pokeballs or pokeball parts and assembles them into working pokeballs sometimes; once he gets his hands on a master ball he can even sometimes replicate master-ball functionality although the balls don't look like master balls. he actually embraces the weird looks of his home-made pokeballs and takes to painting and otherwise decorating them. as such you have no idea if that snag ball he has is a pokeball reassembled from three different broken ones, or a master ball he spent days carefully making.

he also knows exactly where it is safe to carve into a pokeball with a drawing compass, and scratches a unique design and a signature on each and every pokeball he owns. this has two functions: one, it's really obvious that those are wes's pokeballs, making theft very dumb (you'd have to fill the scratches back in in a way that doesn't still have them show up on a scanner, and some of them have been deliberately filled in with paint so they are invisible to the naked eye but show up clearly on any scanner), and two, he can tell all his pokeballs apart by feel. some of his pokeballs are tricked out.

rui wonders why he needs the additional feel of the carvings. rui is aura-sensitive and is not aware that not everyone can feel aura with their fingers.


EDIT: what the heck how did i not notice there was an unfinished sentence

 

I just saw someone on Tumblr suggest that Harry Potter and the Cursed Child was written by Rita Skeeter and this instantly and incontrovertibly became my headcanon.

 

She always was basically a RPF writer anyway.

 

Rita Skeeter or JKR?

j/k, but her reasoning for Ron/Hermione years after the fact and her admission that it was effed up does stink of it...

 

Oh, right, fanfic gripes thread reminded me: a friend of mine from Kentucky has been playing Ace Attorney for the first time recently, and she was so offended at Lotta's southern accent being Wrong(TM) that she concluded Lotta is in fact Californian, and 100% faking it.

 

Headcanon 200% accepted, omg.

 

This seems like the place for it, but I will tread cautiously with regard to phrasing.

If you know any Japanese slang at all, particularly sexual slang, the dialogue Hussie gives Damara is even worse. There are several reasons for this:

1) The terms she uses for body parts are predominantly clinical, not vernacular, despite the fact that she comes across in personality as the sort of person who would use four-letter words whenever possible.

2) The level of politeness is very standard, and far too high for the kinds of situations in which someone would make the kinds of requests she is making.

3) Native Japanese speakers omit first person pronouns in most sentences. Saying "watashi wa" or "watakushi wa" for "I" and beginning a sentence with it is basically the same thing as announcing that you learned Japanese in college, probably in America.

There are two possible headcanons for this:

1) Damara doesn't actually speak East Beforan at all and is faking it using a translator program, just like Hussie did.

OR

2) Damara's self-esteem is so messed up that she actually feels the need to use super polite humbling language when saying these things.

 

As a shameless lover of Damara whump, I’m gonna go with option 2.

 

Yeah, we've talked about this before :D :D :D

 

I just suddenly remembered the greatest fic I have ever read, and in my heart, every movie described in it definitely exists in the MCU.

 

That was amazing. Thanks!

Also, Boogie Nights ref! Dirk Diggler!

I love that (very NSFW) movie.

 

After examining the art more carefully I decided against it, but my brain briefly tried to convince me that Gideon Gleeful grows up to be Gaston Gourmand, the smartest and most hilarious Wild Kratts villain. Obviously this would make Gourmand's accent fake, but...it really is fake anyway.

 

NB: being the smartest Wild Kratts villain isn't a high bar to reach, but Gourmand actually has strategies and tells lies that are somewhat believable. As opposed to Zach, who basically is his own worst enemy.