sorry i don't make the rules: ridiculous/lighthearted headcanons

I'm interpreting Amethyst's kitty-mouth as a slight cleft lip.

Spoiler: gross bodily processes

Gems can eat but they don't actually have any saliva or stomach juices and they can't absorb any of it. When Amethyst eats it does have to come out, but when it does it's still basically just chewed food.

 

It was probably a typo but I'm taking the mid-sentence gender-switch of a grub in Bronya's route to mean that trolls don't develop any gender-associated characteristics until they're out of grub form. Grubs are basically little sacks of goo anyway, and during pupation most of an Earth insect grub's body melts down and re-forms, so yeah.

 

I cannot recall how much SU you've seen so I'ma spoiler this (it's a pretty early thing though, late season 2):

Spoiler

Given that she's canonically "defective," that's entirely possible imo!

 

I've seen it all the way through now, though it's been a while since I saw that episode. I do remember that bit though! I have similar thoughts on the Leijons' mouths too.

 

Being trans isn't directly heritable, so Lanque's ancestor actually was the kind of snappy-dressing butch everyone thought he was at first. (Not that there were no trans trolls among the ancestors of the Troll Call at all, far from it; they just didn't sync up with the ones who are in this generation.)

Elwurd's ancestor was known as the Sapphist, in reference to the poetry style she invented, and also in the colloquial sense.

 

Diemen developed a blackrom crush on Skylla when she tried to make him eat vegetables.

 

dirk strider loves asmr

 

The elves of Re-Earth in Force of Will really, really, REALLY love wind chimes. They adore the ever living shit out of wind chimes. Amon Sulle is just filled with the things. They are everywhere. You cannot spend time in any elvish encampment without hearing tinkling bits of metal clinking together in satisfying musical fashions. Because the wind is so important to them they have a lot of different ways of making the chimes too and have entire fucking cultural bodies of knowledge based around making and arranging wind chimes in the most aesthetically and religiously pleasing fashion.

Given her position in her society and general beliefs Fiethsing has filled the Home of the Sages with wind chimes. They are artfully arranged in specific, perfect manners and they act as sorts of early warning signs to her, among other less dire things. Having grown up with these things Kaguya finds them deeply comforting and homely objects. Zero also finds them very homely.

 

One from Tumblr's failure-artist; since the troll's name is the first noise the lusus makes to them, Buuurp is not an uncommon troll name.

 

@Pumpkageist and I have observed for some time that Insomnia City seems to have a sort of base-level gothiness to its culture. (We approve.)

One aspect of this-and in my view one of the best ones-is that there is a legitimate tradition there that the biggest and/or most special presents given on a kid's birthday are from the Birthday Skeleton.

 

Terezi wrote Troll Eye of Argon. Her spelling is better but she has the same red fetish Theis apparently did (describing a guy's face as flushing to a "rose red shade of crimson", among other things, when rather more pertinent things were going on).

 

I'll admit that I first picked up on this via someone's comment on the kink meme; kid!Prompto wore glasses, adult sunshine boye doesn't, obviously at some point he swapped them out for contacts.

This means there have absolutely been multiple incidents where all four party members ended up grovelling on hands and knees trying to find a lost lens.

Also, Noctis has never stopped being fascinated and grossed out by the very idea of contact lenses. YOU PUT THEM ON YOUR EYEBALL, PROMPTO. ON YOUR ACTUAL EYEBALL.

 

noctis' feelings about contact lenses are my feelings about contact lenses, tbh

i'm not an actual ffxver - though i do want to check it out eventually - so i don't have any other thoughts on the headcanon but yeah, noctis, i relate

 

Be warned. This game sucks you in.

Me before playing FFXV: Eh, I guess I'll give it a try. Weird names on the protags though. But it's FF, it can't be too bad, and I really want some open world RPGing after all this Persona I've been playing lately. [puts disc into PS4]
Me several hours later: I've only known Noctis for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.

Spoiler

Me after finding out plotline spoilers: SHIT

 

it does sound like it has that effect, yes :D:D:D

and the fic for it definitely does

i've read some of it looking for my kinks and... wow :D:D:D

i have prompto porn feelings by proxy

 

I think Spider-Man's "Spidey Sense" is just, like, anxiety.

Spoiler

It's going off nearly all the time, but he's the unluckiest Schlemiel in the Marvel comic verse. It's hard to tell "my spider senses are tingling because thanks brain chemistry" as opposed to "my Spider Senses have gone off because Kingpin just remembered that I called him the Michelin Man". When you're Spider-Man, there's always something.

 

dick grayson naturally sits like a pretzel-boned weirdo

this is a little bit supported by a New Teen Titans cover where everyone else is kneeling or sitting cross-legged and he's in a full on lotus position

 

steamworld stuff:

if you can get fen to sing, which is difficult and only possible for heist-era fen because fen doesn't particularly much like speaking aloud and you are not going to get them to sing telepathically, they're not bad at it. but they might not be singing the right lyrics. they might just decide that no, this slight change here is better, and sing that instead.

they would absolutely sing Africa with 'coming back from the front tonight' instead of the thing with the 12:30 flight


it's much easier to get them to sing when drunk but good luck finding something that can get a vectron sprite in a body that started off as a teleporter drunk in a steambot bar. or a dieselbot bar.


also, late-Dig 2 Dorothy is mixing her jet engine's diesel with Moon Juice. it was Fen's idea. it actually does work better and did not explode.
anything past a 50/50 mix is too corrosive and explosive for her.

due to her aquatic regenesis+phoenix armour+all those other upgrades relating to healing combo she ends up living a really long time even by steambot standards.

rusty and her had started making a place for that shiner that impersonated barnacle jones to live. then they found a vectron ship with lots more shiners and other organic life in stasis. suddenly Project to Create a bunch of Space Habitats.

they proceeded to get stuck in that project for a few centuries. somewhere out in deep space there's a bunch of space habitats crewed/inhabited by a mixture of shiners, steambots who got really lost, and vectron outcasts/escapees.

dorothy is going to get one hell of a surprise when she heads back in to check on the Core area. water as currency? scrapper gangs? vectron was here? Fen got amnesia and joined space pirates???

also she horrifies dieselbots. not on a body horror level but rather on a 'you drink wHAT' kind of level.

and also let's be real on a volume level if she wants to fly somewhere Fast. that jet engine canonically has afterburners. afterburners are really loud

 

was looking up steamworld fanart on deviantart and found someone's headcanon about fen doing a flatten if relaxed enough

like a hamster

https://sbuggbot.deviantart.com/art/Sploot-SteamWorld-735200129

 

Given the fairly significant difference in skin tone between Ronaldo and Peedee (Peedee is significantly paler if you look at them side-by-side--Ronaldo either has a perma-tan (unlikely imo) or is naturally somewhat darker-skinned than Peedee), I think I now headcanon them as half-siblings--same dad, obviously, but different moms.