Addictions that you still have to mess with

Having a food addiction sounds like the worst possible one because unlike alcoholism, you can't just stop eating.

Spoiler: Just, it seems like

there's a general desire to stuff yourself and if one food isn't available, you go for a different one. Or if the addiction is narrower,

Spoiler: you could avoid your trigger foods, like

pizza, fried chicken, cheese, but then maybe you develop new triggers like boiled chicken or pasta and have to keep chasing it until you're trying to live on Soylent.

Shopping addiction is another one where it's very impractical to just quit. What are you going to do, have someone go out and get groceries and clothing for you when you need them? At least there are coping strategies, and really you're just losing money if you slip up. The biological link isn't as strong because the only substance is created by your brain.

 

im not sure i understand the purpose of this thread? can you elaborate?

 

Mostly seeing where it goes. It's less intense than trying to get the hoarder group to talk about shopping addiction.

 

... I'm guessing you're starting this thread because you want an opening to talk about your own issues with compulsive eating/shopping. Maybe, in that case, you should get the ball rolling?

 

Last time I did that, it got focused on me when I didn't want to control where it went.

 

if you start a thread you’re inherently drawing attention to yourself. why would a thread you start, that is about a specific issue you are having, not focus on you?

 

But why not? This thread is clearly geared up to talk about your own issues. Why shouldn't the conversation be about you, in that case? And... look, asking for anecdotes and discussion is fine, but people aren't going to do your personal growth for you or try to decipher your issues in your absence on very little information, and given your track record, I understand the wariness people have to share anecdotes.

 

Uh... Does that apply for things like the religion thread I made? Or the self-harm thread? Or most threads in Brains, actually?

 

okay, personal thought: I feel the focus of the thread is likely to depend on if a person is asking for help/discussion on a thing they personally are struggling with, vs. if they are simply opening up the floor for people to commiserate on a shared problem that they also have--like, imo, the sexual assault thread tends to focus more on....whoever's just posted stuff recently more than anything, I find, but that also makes sense because it isn't really geared for one person asking for helping or discussion of their problem and how to deal or fix. it's a thread for anyone affected by the thing to post in and ask for advice or help or just commiseration.

but I have no idea what Greallan wants here, and if this is intended to be a general addiction thread, I still find threads meant to be open like the sexual assault one seem to start with one person discussing how this is a thing they are dealing with, and making it also an open thread for people to talk about their struggles with the same? and then other people may chime in, etc.

 

@palindromordnilap the original post in this thread feels more like a nonsequitor than anything else; iirc the opener threads on yours are much more general

 

I don't understand what you're hoping to get out of this, and therefore what you're trying to do.

Contribute actively to the community by starting a discussion on a topic where you see potential need and nothing filling it?
Get an idea of what people here think about the topic by seeing what they have to say if you're not steering the discussion?
Provide and receive commiseration and support for people struggling with the same problem?
Something else?

If you don't intend for this thread to be about you, what sort of format were you hoping for? Something like a group therapy session where everyone gets a turn instead of the focus being on a single individual? A different thing?

 

If you start a thread there is a general expectation that you will be participating in that thread. not like a, "you have to do this" expectation, a "this is how people generally act here and it's vaguely confusing when someone breaks the pattern" expectation. as far as i can tell, your religion thread was slightly different because it was based on a derail from tumblr.txt, meant to host a discussion that was already happening, which afaik you were a part of. vastderp started the self-harm thread talking about his own experiences and then kind of opened it up for people to share their own stories. quite a few of the threads in braiiiins are actually of people specifically asking for help about a problem they have. the rest of them are dedicated generals for troubleshooting a specific problem and helping each other.

i think the way i worded my post was confusing, because it doesn't account for the general open threads and implied every thread had to be about the OP. i think it's more correct to say that the OP does generally set the timbre of the thread and indicate what will be discussed, whether they want it to be about them or not.

greallan's OP is confusing because it just seems like some random observations that might as well have gone in the holler closet or something. there's no indication of what kind of thread it should be, and the expectation is that the OP dictates that. if it had been like "this is a thread to share experiences with behavioral addictions" or "does anyone have advice on how to deal with shopping addiction?" that would be in line with general forum norms.

 

If you’re positing that this thread is being held to an unusual level of scrutiny because Greallan was the person who started it, I can only speak for myself but you would be correct. If you had started a similar thread, I would probably not have had any questions.

I have a much more useful model for predicting your motives than I do for predicting hers. I certainly can’t magically know exactly what you want, which would be a bit alarming, but I’m more likely to have a good guess or two even if you don’t explicitly say. I’ve known you longer, and you’re far more likely to use patterns of conversation that I’ll recognize.

Engaging in a conversation is a huge amount of heavy-duty social processing, with uncertain outcome, if I don’t have at least a ballpark idea of what the other person is hoping for. Without that, I can’t guess whether or how I can help my conversational partner meet their needs and/or goals, or decide if those are likely to be compatible with mine. For me, this is fundamental to establishing pretty much any social interaction. If I can’t infer or intuit motive, I’m going to need to ask.

So I did ask. Not because Greallan’s initial post did anything wrong, but because I personally would need more information before I could participate any further.

 

I’m addicted to reading threads with structures reminiscent of both clickbait and daytime tv dramas

 

????????????????????????????????????????

 

tfw you don't normally have to ask am i having a stroke but now you do because am i having a stroke

 

....did I miss something

 

what is this thread about, greallan, and why did you make it?