What are your fan fiction gripes?

in today's edition of Sex Scenes With Baffling Word Choices: "snapping"

Spoiler: nsfw context

"[name] was drawn abruptly into climax by [name]'s body snapping around his cock."

"snapping"

"snapping" yes that is definitely the right word to use when describing post-orgasmic muscle spasms. "snapping."

 

gonna need a chiropractor after that

 

Spoiler: nsfw reply

Are we sure we aren’t dealing with a case of vagina dentata there? :P

 

Spoiler: nsfw, cursed

i mean, wrong orifice, but yeah it definitely conjures some "butthole with teeth" imagery.

 

That second comment is going to be so confusing now that I deleted it because Acey made the point more. Uh. Simply. :::PPP

 

haha i updated it when i saw you deleted the post, lol. but i saw the gif. and now the image is in my head.

 

I am very, very sorry.

 

I demand to see this cursed gif.

 

it's ok, we can suffer together.

"snapping"

 

Now I'm just thinking of Randal Milholland's reference to the worst sex advice he ever saw online:

Spoiler

 

That sounds... that sounds bad.

 

I don't know who started the trend of using 'whisper scream' instead of 'stage whisper', but I don't think I like them.

 

stumbled across this fic again and I'm going to cry this isn't how language processing works
if something is a common phrase your brain will literally autofill that shit in for you when someone says "how are you?" even if you can't properly hear them 90% of the time it's going to read as "how are you" EVEN WHEN THE LAST WORD ISNT ACTUALLY "YOU" YOURE NOT GOING TO, E.G., MISTAKE "YOU" FOR "EWE" BC WHY WOULD YOU EXPECT TO HEAR(/SEE) EWE IN THAT SITUATION

anyways im sad bc i like deaf clint fics but the dialogue in this is basically all Like That and it's driving me mad

 

Spoiler: Nsfw

I was imagining a weird snap bracelet

 

I'm still trying to figure out the most amazing-slash-cursed Thanos joke I can make without having actually seen the movie.

 

So YOIBF is reading dingle rumpus fanfic.

[YOI Badfic Friend]: '"Why the fuck," Maki hissed to her noirette friend over the phone-line, "do you think I'd care about anything concerning Akamatsu?"'
[YOI Badfic Friend]: Noirette
[YOI Badfic Friend]: 'her purplette lover'

 

Noirette sounds like a chocolate

 

tfw you find a fic with a collection of pairings you want to love, but there's typos in not only the summary, but also the first five paragraphs that you manage to read before having to exit out

 

i'm still baffled by this??? like??? on top of the common phrase autofill you talked about, if the two words are HOMOPHONES (eye/I, right/write), then even if you have perfectly intact hearing, they're still going to sound the same! and yet we manage to figure out which homophone is meant through context! absolutely fucking incredible