Out of context quotes thread

ALL HAIL THE EMPIRE THAT PROVIDES SNACKS AT MEETINGS, FOR THEY SHALL INHERIT MY LOYALTY, MY BLADE AND MY CONTRACT EXTENSION.

 

We could teach together. You could cry under the desk and I could cry on top of it. Teamwork!

 

"Look at how grown up we are. You're banging chicks left and right, and I'm smoking weed as I text you."

 

Spoiler: nsfwish

SIR PLEASE
[smacks steven king in the face with a microphone]
DESCRIBE PENNYWISE’S FUN BITS IN DETAIL. SIR. PLEASE.

 

My mind interpreted steven king as martin luther king jr at first glance and i was very confused

 

SIR PLEASE

 

Spoiler: nsfw ish

You got a problem with Naked Chick Deep Dives?

 

I thought assless chaps were basically pants-tank tops.

 

true orcs have big gay arms to hold their wives and husbands and aside from that only care about antiques roadshow

 

Spoiler: context

McMansion Hell is spectacular today.

 

I’ve had poetry nightmares since then,” he complained.

 

"TELL ME OF THE SHITPOSTS OF THE ELVES"

 

edit: context

Spoiler

my friend was talking about how a lot of the urban fantasy aesthetic posts she used to see turned out to be deity-kin people going off at the mouth and her only finding out bc she updated her blacklist with very kin specific terms and peeked to see what the fuck was getting caught. i laughed. so hard.

 

That's the first time I've heard "death of the author" used as a battle cry.

 

"I'm glad to be a concrete wall"

 

Spoiler: tw: poop