Fishin' in the stream of consciousness (all-purpose, no topic chat thread)

Whelp. With those weird glass things i thought it might be a museum for something else.

 

I have the song Titanium stuck in my head, except it keeps turning into The Mesopotamians by TMBG.

 

this is a quest location marker

Spoiler

 

I clearly need to take a break from anime, I just mentally referred to the guy I’ve been training at work as my kohai

 

So what you’re saying is, you noticed them?

 

I noticed how he kept not wearing gloves while handling food today that’s for damn sure

 

Get to senpai's heart through your customers' stomachs, with Health Code Violations(TM)!

 

Gimmicky colouring book: you can't use the holograph transfer sheet on the regular colouring pages!

Me, already holding double sided sticky tape and a scalpel: I'm sorry I can't hear you

 

i lov

 

I have been reminded of a story I want to share now

Spoiler: warning for encountering wild rat in story

So I was at a party that was at a facility that wasn't, i'd guess, hugely used? it wasn't dirty but there were some dusty spots and generally had the feel of a place that could use a renovation. I was in their small kitchen, looking through the cupboards while chatting with some people, as i needed to get a glass for water. I opened one cupboard, to see a rather large grey rat sitting and eating a package of crackers it had torn open. It froze, and I froze for a second. And well, my reaction to alarming situations tends to be weirdly calm at first and then freak out later, so I just calmly closed the cupboard and stood still for a few moments. Cue friend, after a moment, going 'no, that one just has food, glasses are in the cupboard to the right', to which i respond 'oh, no, I gathered that, I was a bit distracted by the giant rat.' to which my friend said 'wait what?'

no one but me had noticed the rat. they opened the cupboard again and it scurried off, leading to a general panic and shouting to find the owner of the establishment. I just sorta. got a glass and got my water.

I just. am so amused that i stared at a rat for like five seconds, and no one else around me noticed it. usually i'm the one who doesn't notice details

 

Spoiler: warning for wild centipede encounter

I'm historically really not cool with centipedes. The little ones are fine, but the usual ones found (if all goes well) only in the basement from time to time are relatively yuuuuuuuge. They have so many legs and they're so freaking fast. It's distressing.

Well I don't remember if I've told you this story before. I may have. But here I go again.

We have an auxiliary fridge down there because it's hard to keep enough food for up to four people in only one fridge if you go shopping once a week. That's also where we keep drinks that don't need to be refrigerated, on an old desk right next to the fridge. So I'm going about my business, going down to the basement to get.. something. I forget. Something food or beverage.

That's where I encountered the centipede. I must have been going at a reasonable clip because I distinctly remember we startled each other.

As in, we both enter the same area at a good velocity on distressingly intersectional paths, and freeze.

Then both of us simultaneously get our bearings back and scamper the fuck back. I perform an acrobatic strafe jump many feet to the side, like I'm initiating an especially desperate and vigorous version of the Time Warp, and the poor centipede SCRAMS for its leggy, leggy life to the relative safety of under the fridge.

At that point I reached An Understanding With Basement Centipedes.

Because it was clearly at least as terrified of me as I was of it. It was mutual terror. And I get that. It honestly had more rational cause, because of the two of us, I'm gonna win in a fight. And it's not unreasonable to fear that I might be inclined towards casual murder. I would normally use the vacuum rather than anything requiring me to get anywhere near my victim, but I would absolutely murder a centipede and feel no remorse.

So I get it. I'm pretty damn scary if you're a centipede. I literally might kill you if you stick around long enough. Or for faster results I will call in reinforcements (my dad) who will efficiently commit centipede murder on my behalf with a shoe and a damp paper towel.

They don't wanna meet me any more than I want to meet them. Probably way less, because phobia versus rational fear. And that's cool. I can work with that.

I just make sure to stomp a bit if I'm feeling nervous, like it's a wild animal in the woods and I'm trying to make sure it can hear me, a hiker, coming in plenty of time to clear out. It's a cement floor, but I'm sure the vibrations of a stomping 120-ish pound biped, even one with bare feet, are pleeeenty detectable to a small hunting insectivore who has that many points of contact with the ground.

Fear me, for I am really afraid of you and might freak the fuck out and do something unfortunate.

 

Exciting Science Drama(TM): a famous Cornell professor just got thirteen studies retracted because he got caught p-hacking to make his data look interesting.

 

oh shit

 

I don’t know whether to ironically rate that as winner or witnessed and I’m afraid of subaccounts. But in spirit I did both.

 

I think the most unexpected Animal Encounter I've ever had was the one time a frog jumped on my boob while I was sitting inside on the living room couch on my computer at midnight.

Earlier my mom and I had heard a weird plopping sound a few times, but we still had the door to the screened in porch open for most of the sounds and dind't think too much of it. houses make weird sounds

but there i was. just watching a youtube video, when suddenly, as if from nowhere, a frog lands on my left tit.

 

(Help, I've fallen down the rabbit hole of snarky people with statistical analysis programs tearing holes in his terrible statistics)

 

Me: *looks at survey being passed around on Tumblr*
Second question on survey:

My West Virginian ass: "...so, like, do northern WV and Pennsylvania, like, exist? Colorado? ...Hawaii?"

 

(oh my god the JOY OF COOKING COPYRIGHT HOLDERS called him out on his bad practices before the scientific community did)