Super General Advice (the thread for advice without making a thread)

Regarding my problems with writing, there are specific writers who I'm very jealous of, over their output, their skill, or whatever, and other writers or aspects of the same writer's work that I want to prove I can outdo. I don't think this is a healthy view for me to take. Any tips on processing it?

 

So I need a small bit of advice okay maybe a bit bigger bit. So my boyfriend is coming down the week before Christmas so we can celebrate together and then have Christmas with our families.

The current issue I’m having is that my boyfriend is pre-t trans but I’m still using his old name and pronouns with my family since I do live in the south and they aren’t the most open minded bunch, but he’s wanting me to let them know ahead of time.

I’ve also not exactly told them we’re dating yet (they just know him as my friend from Florida) because they are not really accepting of people you meet online as being real people. Not to mention my last relationship was also long distance and they threatened to call the police on me if I dared to go and meet them without their absolute permission. (Which is stupid on their part since I was 26 at the time) but I’m tired of letting them push me around and we both really want this to work out.

So any advice for us would be really appreciated right now.

 

(First of all holy shit at that last bit) As much as I hate to say this, I am getting the feeling that you may have to only tell them one of the two things, either him being trans or him being your boyfriend, and am getting the impression that the former may go at least slightly better. Obviously, I don't really know what kind of people are but given what you've said and that I tend to prefer to prepare for the worst, but it's sounding like, from what you said on their opinion of long distance relationships, and the fact that they were still pushing that onto you at TWENTY-SIX, I would be concerned that they may decide in the middle of him being there that "actually, no you're not welcome here anymore, leave".

Are they the kind of people who could be persuaded by an argument similar to "you don't have to understand or like or agree with it, but he is severely uncomfortable by people referring to him as a woman, and isn't it better to not actively make someone uncomfortable"? You could attempt something like that.

If the visit goes well you may be able to persuade them to accept that you're dating at a later point?

Beyond that...I'm really sorry that you have to deal with this, you don't deserve it.

 

Does anyone know the best way to find people selling just the cord for a laptop AC adapter? Because I don't want to pay $30 for a complete replacement I don't need when there's literally just one wire snapped in the detachable cord running from the wall to the adapter.

 

What kind of adapter is it?

 

Crisis averted, I found a spare from a previous cord replacement. But for the record:

Lenovo. The part I was stressing out about has a plug with three little circles arranged in a triangle:

I have no idea if this kind of connector has a name or is used by anyone but Lenovo.

 

oh hey it looks kinda like my asus one

 

Hey if I accidentally used gluten free fliur instead of glutenful flour what is the easiest way to fic the chocolate cchip cookies im making? The recipe on the gluten free flour bag has me adding arrowroot seed and canola oil and xantham gum and applesauce and I wanna know which of this is most neccesary, or if theres anything else I can use

 

Basically in cookies the difference is that gluten acts as a) a binder and b) fluffs up more in the presence of a leavener like baking soda or... whatever it is you use in cookies (i bake pies and biscuits and that's about it). I'd use the xanthan and arrowroot, personally, and maybe add an extra egg for moisture and binding properties.

 

So a neighbor keeps smoking outside in our no-smoking-anywhere-outside-or-inside apartment complex, should I confront them? Call the landlord? Leave a passive-aggressive note? It gives me a headache every time and I want to be able to have our windows open because it's finally not 1000 degrees every day.

 

I'd leave a note and then progress to talking to them and then the landlord if it doesn't cease.

 

Put the date on the note and take a picture of it after you put it up. Just in case they try to lie about getting it.

 

I see you found an extra one, but if it's useful in the future, the official name is C5 Connector, though I've usually heard people call it a cloverleaf or mickey mouse connector.

 

Does anyone have information, or know where I can find information, regarding what jobs within specifically the field of statistical analysis (and related) tend to be the most stable and best paying?

 

How do other LGBT+ people learn to defeat that inner voice that tells you that you're just faking for attention or pretending so you can infiltrate LGBT+ spaces? How do you learn to stop internalizing negative comments about "cishets"? My therapist has been really unhelpful on this.

 

This isn't particularly helpful to all the types of lgbt+, but my brain does that 'what if you're straight and just want to be a lesbian and you've been wasting everyone's time and making a big deal over nothing' thing, and usually now my response is 'you have literally had sex with multiple girls, you're queer'

so I guess, if you can find an action of yours that is clearly queer, you can use that as an anchor point of 'this is definitely a part of me'

sorry if not helpful \o/;

 

Yeah, unfortunately I'm only attracted to men, that's actually part of why I feel like such a huge fake. I've tried really hard to like girls and it hasn't worked.

It's just. I keep waiting for this to go away or get better and it hasn't. I thought that switching to trans-specific therapy would do the trick, that telling my parents, that starting hormones, etc. etc. I mean I guess once I start being read correctly by strangers it might happen.