r/fatlogic derail

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by Athol Magarac, Jul 8, 2018.

  1. Athol Magarac

    Athol Magarac I prefer reading posts without a lot of topics.

    I think people bullied me until I got frustrated enough to throw away a good thing, I took a break, I'm not done yet.
     
  2. TheMockingCrows

    TheMockingCrows Resident Bisexual Lich

    My dude, I fail to see how being told you're wrong with backed up facts, scientific proof, and personal anecdotes aplenty is bullying, but you do you I guess.
     
    • Agree x 20
  3. palindromordnilap

    palindromordnilap Well-Known Member

    I can see how "just be happy with the body you have!" can be parsed in an unhealthy/dangerous way in some cases. As an example, I'm underweight (Well, I might actually be back to normal BMI range, but still unhealthily thin right now, which really just proves that scale's ranges are bullshit), and if someone I trusted told me to just be fine with that, I'd probably be doing much worse right now. But you know who does constantly tell me to just be fine with that? Every doctor I've seen aside from the physical therapist (it turns out muscle is most of what's preventing my shoulder from just kinda falling off). There's something extremely fucked up in the way the system handles weight, and places like /r/fatlogic are part of the problem.
    Another objection I have to that article, which otherwise makes a lot of good points, though, is the implication that it's practically impossible to lose weight in our current society, when really, it's practically impossible to lose weight by dieting - which is the method that just happens to be pushed by said society. Lifestyle and behavioral changes are known to make a significant difference. It's obviously not something that's useful/needed for everyone, and can be not very practical especially if you've got low income, but I'm slightly annoyed at the cited figures not being put in that context in an immediately noticeable way.
     
    • Agree x 4
  4. Athol Magarac

    Athol Magarac I prefer reading posts without a lot of topics.

    I came back with anecdotes, and I think that the bullying was somewhat different than what you're making it out to be.
     
  5. prismaticvoid

    prismaticvoid Too Too Abstract

    Can you please explain where in this thread you have been bullied, yelled at, or demonized?
     
    • Agree x 1
    • Informative x 1
  6. rigel

    rigel in a line of late afternoon sun

    okay, but that still is zero percent your business. mocking people and making them feel bad for not trying harder to loose weight still isn't going to help the issue? it is wholly and entirely none of your business, what other people do wrt their weight.

    you havent shown you agree with anything! all you've done is try to prove yourself right and convince people that perhaps the extensive research thats been put into this is wrong, and provide examples of what fatlogic says, and muddle up your beliefs further.

    between the fatphobia youve been presenting and you talking about fatlogic and providing little actual clarification as to what you believe, literally no one in this thread knows what your actual opinion is, other than the clearly apparent issue you have with other people's bodies. what i mean here is, if you agree with anything any of us has said, you haven't shown it or made that clear enough.

    you arent some kind of shepherd, meant to guide other people towards being a personally acceptable definition of healthier. thats not your job. if a fat person wants to lose weight, that is solely between them and their doctor. you are a completely uninvolved person in that.

    that said? no one is tring to force you to change, but i honestly believe that published articles and recent scientific research should be more than enough to convince you that perhaps youre mildly misinformed?

    we only said your sources were cherry picking because they were. everyone here is trying to understand and help.

    thats the thing though. youre referring to what causes someone to gain weight as a personal failing. calling fatness a sin, when there can be any number of reasons outside of someones control that they gain weight (or, shocker, its because they eat because they need to eat to survive)! genetics has proven to be a factor, as well as how the body reacts to stress on it (the body burns muscle before it will burn fat)

    calling fat a sin, even as a joke, is outright saying that its inherently bad! saying that its a choice, that its someones personal responsibility to Not Be Fat, is outright saying that its inherently bad!

    no, no. this is why people say youre against fat people. this is why we keep telling you its not a personal failing, this is why everyone is trying to reason with you. this is why everyone is on edge!

    you dont get to decide whos just depressed or who "gave" up. you dont get to decide if someone is too lazy to try. there are reasons why some people cannot lose weight, and none of them involve being lazy.

    laziness has NOTHING to do with it. you cant go around calling fat people lazy and act like they arent fully aware of all the things they've tried in order to lose weight! you dont get to determine ehat constitutes "lazy enough to be considered defeatist"! thats outright wrong. thats awful. its none of your business.

    that still doesnt mean you get to go around telling people how to live and insisting that the reason someone is fat is because its Their Fault, and you DEFINITELY shouldnt be going around telling people that you think they aren't "trying" enough for your standards bc theyre lazy. what the fuck
     
    • Agree x 21
    • Winner x 1
  7. Athol Magarac

    Athol Magarac I prefer reading posts without a lot of topics.

    This is more "general disdain" than bullying.

    Demonizing. He responded to my post and then acted like he didn't read it. THIS IS ABOUT MOCKING PEOPLE WHO TRY TO CONVINCE OTHER PEOPLE THAT LOSING WEIGHT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR EVERYONE< NOT JUST A SELECT FEW> THIS IS NOT ABOUT MOCKING FAT PEOPLE!
     
  8. bornofthesea670

    bornofthesea670 Well-Known Member

    I almost got anorexia because my stepmom said chocolate caused my acne. as well as a lot of other bullshit she and my father spewed about 'healthy eating' and sugars.

    fun fact, I have PCOS so not a lot will stop my acne and I've grown to not give much of a fuck.

    fun fact #2 when I'm not near assholes giving me stress and anxiety my face almost clears up completely

    HMMMM how fuckin strange *aggressively munches a cookie*
     
    • Witnessed x 9
    • Agree x 4
  9. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    And literally everyone is saying "don't mock any people about weight issues, for any reason" and "it's not just a rare select few, it's a widespread, pervasive issue."

    It's not that we don't understand your argument, it's that we're arguing against you with different arguments.

    Also, the all caps tantrum is exactly why you can't be trusted to be part of a discussion where people might be hurt by your inability to emotionally regulate yourself.
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2018
    • Agree x 15
  10. Athol Magarac

    Athol Magarac I prefer reading posts without a lot of topics.

    OMG, emphasizing something in the hope that you'll actually read it is hurtful. What am I supposed to do when people insist on the opposite of what I'm saying? Do I just lie down and take my lumps, not say anything because you have the right to hurt me while expecting not to be hurt by being told that? Why do you think it's helpful when you drag the argument to different arguments where you try to convince me of points I already agree with?
     
  11. spockandawe

    spockandawe soft and woolen and writhing with curiosity

    Given the extreme lack of crab bucket we've actually seen, this is apparently about mocking people who keep trying to patiently explain that weight loss isn't as simple and straightforward as 1) fatlogic, 2) wider society, 3) the medical industry, and 4) you, apparently, would like it to be.

    Also, when you're going to talk about ~the sin of gluttony showing on fat people's bodies~, I'm going to say that yeah, actually, regardless of intention, you are mocking fat people.
     
    • Agree x 17
  12. spockandawe

    spockandawe soft and woolen and writhing with curiosity

    When other people emphasize their points and and emotions, you're being bullied, but when you do it, anyone who thinks you're being inappropriate is stupid, got it.
     
    • Agree x 8
  13. chaoticArbiter

    chaoticArbiter an actual shiny eevee (destroyer of worlds)

    demonizing would be if rigel said "and because it's not your business and you insist on trying to make it your business, you are evilbad."
    someone telling you you're WRONG isn't DEMONIZING. someone telling you that this thing isn't your business also isn't demonizing. a failure to understand what it is you were trying to say would also not be demonizing--though I don't agree that rigel was off base with his response.
    just so we're clear: if you feel like rigel has suggested that because you're wrong and this thing isn't your business, you're evil, that's a you thing, imo, bc rigel didn't...say that. and demonizing is 'to portray someone as wicked and threatening'--which has not been what happened here. no one has been trying to demonize you, afaik.
    but seeing as you seem to feel you have been demonized, I'm a little curious as to why, exactly, you feel that someone saying something like "it's not your business and you're wrong" means they're saying you're wicked and evil, and also why you seem to feel that a person misunderstanding a post of yours and responding to it anyway would also be tantamount to saying you're wicked and evil. would like to know where you're getting that.
     
    • Agree x 12
  14. rigel

    rigel in a line of late afternoon sun

    i fail to see where me telling you that what fat people do with their lives is me like, actively demonizing you?

    demonizing would be me raving about how evil and horrible you are, not me reminding you that perhaps, what other people do with their bodies is not Actually Your Business. i would also like to see where you get the idea that someone telling you this is like. akin to someone going around and making you seem like youre some vile, evil person.
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2018
    • Agree x 9
  15. Athol Magarac

    Athol Magarac I prefer reading posts without a lot of topics.

    He's making it out that I'm about mocking fat people when I'm not. He is off-base. Saying "you're doing this bad thing and refuse to change" when I'm not doing a bad thing is to portray me as wicked and threatening.

    His argument gets even more off-track with his assumptions. I say "the issue is thorny" and he decided that I go around labeling who specifically is appropriating conditions as an excuse. I say that a laziness vs depression debate might cover it better, he assumes that I'm calling fat people lazy.
     
  16. prismaticvoid

    prismaticvoid Too Too Abstract

    I'm just gonna say, again, that people expressing frustration with your continual dead-horse beating? Not bullying. As for being yelled at, the only person I've seen using capslock in this thread is you.
     
    • Agree x 12
  17. KingStarscream

    KingStarscream watch_dogs walking advertisement

    He's saying that "laziness vs depression" is a functionally useless debate (spoiler: most depressed people are told they're "just lazy" by strangers all the time) and that it's still not one to have about fat people or to fat people on the basis of them being fat. Even if you really, truly think that those fat people are just trying to ruin other fat people's attempts to get healthier.

    And he's not portraying you as anything. Greallan, I don't think anyone participating in these threads is drawing conclusions about you except by reading your posts. Your posts are wholly in your own control, except when mods put the brakes on for things that are only likely to hurt more people--but, again, that's a you thing. I have yet to see any evidence that there's an ongoing conspiracy to discredit you, in this thread or on other threads on this forum.
     
    • Agree x 17
  18. Athol Magarac

    Athol Magarac I prefer reading posts without a lot of topics.

    I didn't use the capslock, I held down shift. Rigel also used caps to emphasize.

    But go ahead and tone-police me. Shouting even if you're not being heard automatically invalidates the argument.
     
  19. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    Checkmate, atheists.
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2018
    • Winner x 22
    • Agree x 2
    • Informative x 1
  20. spockandawe

    spockandawe soft and woolen and writhing with curiosity

    I got lost, I can't tell if we're supposed to be tone-policing the people who are frustrated with you, or if we're supposed to avoid tone-policing because it's just an excuse to ignore your words.

    Or hang on, let me switch off the sarcasm and hit the shift key and be as blunt as I possibly can

    I AM INTENSELY SICK OF YOUR DOUBLE STANDARDS FOR HOW OTHER PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO ACT VERSUS WHAT THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO TOLERATE WHEN IT COMES FROM YOU.
     
    • Agree x 12
    • Winner x 5
    • Witnessed x 2
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