I've seen clothes from Torrid for women sitting at 500+ pounds. Their online store has more variety than the physical stores if that helps. Like, I'm exhausted and annoyed but if you want to get cute semi-goth Torrid shit then no one should stop you. They have skater dresses that can be worn with pants or leggings for a "long shirt" look, for example.
I don't know how to say this without it sounding sarcastic but: I really don't think there's anything to be gained from continuing this conversation. Greallan had shown in the past that once she forms an opinion, she is EXTREMELY unlikely to ever change it. A lot of her posts totally miss the nuances of what she's responding. I'm saying this sincerely and not just being condescending: I don't think that she's really able to have this discussion. Her ability to comprehend language is not at a point where she can read the studies people link her to. She seems to be struggling with feeling persecuted, which isn't going to go away if people explain why she's not, because again, she isn't totally processing what's being said. She's operating on her own logic. I understand that the things she's said are very hurtful for a lot of people (myself included) but for a discussion to get anywhere, both people have to be able to understand each other. That's not happening here. I think the only things that are likely to happen if this thread continues is people getting hurt/triggered and Greallan still not fully grasping the points being made. Maybe it would be good to have another thread to unpack weight and body image issues? I think that would be more productive than continuing here. I think Greallan really wants to be able to prove she's right, but since that's not going to happen, this is just going to be an argument. I don't know if I'll respond to replies on this because I just don't see the point.
Yeah like, rn I'm distracted from all that business and more focused on something achievable, like helping people find cute clothes regardless of size. If nothing comes of this except Greallen thinking about finding a nice shirt I'd be satisfied. Like, okay, this dress comes in L - 6XL, and these leggings come in M - 6XL. I don't know your size but they also have 7's and 8's available for some of their clothes. That would be a cute outfit on anyone. No one needs to lose weight to wear cute clothes. Maybe that's not anyone's style but mine but the thing is, fat people aren't out here crying for a lack of options in clothes. Or horses. Or anything else. Anyone with functioning Google can find shit they need, and we don't need hassled by a subreddit to do it.
http://okaywowcool.tumblr.com/post/162172316069/most-popular-fast-fashion-retailers-forever21 very single retailer listed in this post offers sizes of at least us 30, and some all the way up to us 44.
That's because your arguments don't really do anything to change my mind. I believe that fat people shouldn't be mocked just for being fat, especially not out in the wild. People have been trying to convince me to change my belief to that, and I'm not sure how I'm supposed to do that. I already believe that you can't tell who has legitimate health problems and who just don't want to diet just by looking at them. You can't even tell if they bring it up as part of a conversation. As a generalization, some of them are not telling the truth, but you really can't tell which ones. I looked at thyroid trouble and they say it's rare to gain more than 5-10 pounds just from an underproducing thyroid, so it's unlikely that everyone who's claiming they're obese just because of thyroid has this rare state. Was him pointing out that alcohol is calorie-dense inappropriate? I think it was just fine to say. I already know that I'm fat because I drink over 2000 cals a night. Having someone say it's genetics would just make me feel helpless. I wear size 46. I've also had miserable luck with online because I need to try it on or check the texture.
https://www.ontheplusside.com/ wweh. ETA: you didnt ask for help finding clothes, i just realized. carry on.
Oh my godddddd. Look, this isn't exclusively about haha-funny mocking. This is about shaming people. This is about passing judgment and feeling compelled to share that shaming and judgment with the world. This is about saying that these people must be lying about their own life experiences. This is about the things you yourself have said right in this thread, not about some off-site conversation people are imagining you having. It's about you insisting people are wrong to object to a site where you describe their positive side to be them picking apart people's stories to figure out how they're lying, because there's no way a fat fat fattie like this could be telling the truth about their attempted weight loss. It's about making your own private decisions about what must be Truth re: biology and health, two massively complicated fields, and completely ignoring people with piles of real life experience who try to correct you. It's about pearl-clutching over community dynamics (conveniently unsourced) where supposedly people are pressuring others into never ever ever trying to lose weight. It's about accusing them of deliberately lying to push people away from losing weight. It's about looking at a broad collection of people with massively differing life experiences and casually dismissing a huge swath of them as liars. I'll believe you don't think people should be mocked/shamed/etc just for being fat. But you're still doing it.
Ok, lemme try to meet you in the middle here with a question: why do you drink over two thousand calories a night?
holy shit if youre drinking 2000 calories of booze a night, unless its near beer, calories are probably the least of your health concerns
Yeahhh, that's like 12+ 160 calorie bottles of cider or beer a night. You might want to consider a safe detox if that's really a daily thing for you. :I Please don't give yourself a seizure trying to go cold turkey off a 12 pack a day habit.
Even if you were drinking something extremely calorically dense, like an Irish cream, consuming that much nightly - over 2/3 of a bottle, in the case of cream liqueur - the alcohol is more a problem than the calories. Edited to add: if that's a size 46 EU, you're not even out of straight sizing, fuckin hell.
Thanks anyway. I suddenly realized that there's a reason I gave up on women's clothing that wasn't mom's castoffs... the arbitrary sizing that doesn't have anything to do with inches. I'm really a 0 or a 1x depending on the retailer. I haven't had the audience for that joke in quite a while, so it really doesn't get pulled out. But even if I find my audience, the ones who think that a random fat-person on the street can't possibly be controlling their intake and/or exercising, I'll stop making fun of that audience. Just because they'd call someone a lazy glutton when they aren't is no reason to shame them. As for some of the people saying things that just aren't true, lying or more likely they honestly believe it, the math doesn't really add up, does it? It is inconvenient to call out the few that are really telling the truth, and that's why having so many people appropriating conditions or misestimating their intake isn't good. Here's an example of crab-bucketing if that's what you're after... https://www.reddit.com/r/fatlogic/comments/3vd5h7/a_first_hand_account_of_escaping_the_crab_bucket/ Fatlogic isn't perfect, and there are things I disagree with them about, but baby and bathwater. I believe I mentioned how I wasn't fond of their love of the BMI chart.
It sounds like your home life is pretty stressful right now and I'm very sorry to hear that, and I'm sorry you feel bullied. It might be helpful to take notes of the things that have been pointed out - I believe that you're not shaming people on purpose, but you appear to have picked up the language patterns that cause a corresponding feeling of shame such as the stuff spock pointed out. I know it can feel bad when people point out that the way you are communicating causes others harm, especially when that is not your intent. I believe that you want to do better than that. I can help provide alternate wording to convey your worries if you can provide me a list of the things you want to say, so long as there are no metaphors and it's very concise. So something like: "unlike other sins, they wear the mark long after they stop committing it." is very harmful, as has been explained. What I think you are getting at past that wording is: "Even if someone improves their diet and lifestyle habits, it is hard to lose the gained weight." Would that be about right?
I'm upset at what the PPC did to me and trying to block out the memories from constantly replaying. Rum cokes, quite strong, like 40% rum. My liver doesn't like me, and once I shat white because it needed a nap. I've been in detox, and mostly I just have stomachaches. They don't even have to give me the medicine. Last time I asked doc to give me a prescription for the ginger candy I brought so they would actually give me some. It lacks the punch, the shock value. It just blandly goes out there and doesn't stick. I'd rather ask, "how can I stop being fat right now?" even though that one backlashes onto me.
Also I'm very concerned about you now - how often do you drink that much, if it's okay to ask? Because that's, pretty severe alcoholism that will be having massive effects on your body, and your brain functioning. It's very dangerous, especially for anyone with a slower metabolic rate. To be still on topic - what do you get out of fatlogic? Because while it was sad for the man in the story to have someone who disrespected his boundaries, he was not the person who posted the story as far as I can tell. It looks like someone else found it and posted it there for others to mock and deride and reinforce themselves with, which is what was going on in the commentary. This is not a community focused around helping people who come there with a problem, it's a community of people who for the most part find people having problems and then critique their lives from a distance. The kiwifarms comparison Beldaran made was very apt. From what I can tell from reading through other threads you've made, you keep searching for communities that talk about problems you share, and accidentally finding the ones full of bigots and bullies dedicated to putting down the people with those problems, rather than the people having the problems themselves. It's very very easy to pick up a style of communication from a place you frequent and not realize how toxic that way of communicating is until you've left. I have a few friends who used to be very active on 4chan in their early teens and realized they were picking up toxic beliefs and communication patterns from the boards they frequented, and left. That's part of your problem, I think. Healthy communication and discussion doesn't require that you shock the people you're talking too. My suggestion, while bland, is also much more effective at actually conveying what your actual opinions are without having to search through context. That's incredibly dangerous and you should have gone to hospital. I cannot overstate how dangerous that is. If you are doing this every night you are in danger of a premature death. I understand that something has traumatized you but that is an incredibly unhealthy coping mechanism that has effects on how your entire body functions, and is likely also causing some of your communication difficulties on top of any neurodiversity.
Oh, so this IS straight-up haha-funny mocking. Now remind me again, why are people here wrong for saying you're making fun of fat people? Correct me if I'm wrong, because for someone who prefers blunt communication, you are so roundabout about saying anything: 'I was criticized, so now I need to double down on the aggression in every possible direction. This is definitely a productive contribution to the conversation,' And you think its better to hurt innocent bystanders for the sake of trying to attack people whose personal health is none of your business. Awesome, thanks for clearing that up. But you're still claiming that you're not interested in attacking fat people just for being fat, yes? You do claim that's still your position? Genuinely, thank you for linking that. Now, the next step. 1) This is a single reddit thread. Where are the widespread community trends that would make this a cornerstone for justifying atracking every person with weight loss problems as a probable liar? 2) Why does THIS person get the benefit of the doubt that they're telling the perfect unvarnished truth, when again, everyone with weight loss difficulties is a liar until proven innocent? I've seen zero baby and a shit-load of sewer water. I've seen this one tiny concession from you, and a lot of toxic, prejudiced, judgmental fat-shaming. And frankly, i don't really give a flying fuck about this one nasty subreddit, I'm just disinclined to let you out-shout every dissenting voice until you browbeat people into agreeing that they were wrong to ever criticize you, and just must have been really, really stupid and misread every post you've made in this thread, because clearly you were in the right this whole time. Genuinely, what are you hoping to get out of this. You've antagonized a ton of people in this thread alone, spewed a lot of hateful, hurtful rhetoric, and I have serious doubts you've convinced people of any of your points. If you were looking for apologies, it's not going to happen after you necro a thread that was dead for months just to reassert that everyone else was wrong and you were right. This is all so incredibly pointless.
I missed what the fiasco with the PPC was because I haven't been involved with them in years, but how bad was it that it caused you to start drinking yourself to death?
From what I can tell from reading through it, they decided she was not a good fit for the community for a number of reasons, there were some communication problems, and she attempted to continue engaging with the community in spite of a ban. To be utterly blunt, it sounds @Greallan like there is some underlying issue that's driving you to this state other than issues with the PPC. From everything I've read, 'cause I went back through your thread history to understand some of the communication difficulties a little better, it seems like you've been searching for communities that will help you both create things and get better, and winding up in ones dedicated to mocking people trying to do both of those things in various forms. When those communities reject you, it hurts a lot. But it honestly sounds like you're displacing emotions from something else onto that rejection as a form of processing them, as well as being hurt by the rejection itself. You can find other communities - there are active groups on here with folks who write both fanfic and original fiction and help each other get better! But what you're not going to find here is people tearing down others work. There are a few threads where various literary devices are complained about, and those can be very helpful too, but this is a supportive community. Which it honestly sounds like you need, but to engage with it effectively requires effort to adjust communication strategies so we can all talk to each other in a constructive way.
Reminder that if participating in this thread is causing anxiety, take a step back and do some self care.
