You wouldn't think, but in some cases, when someone's got a dysfunctional thought like that, their "script" for how conversations go is adequately prepared to defend it against any kind of rebuttal, but will go wildly off if you respond in a silly manner. More effective with intrusive thoughts, I think.
On the whole set of people I use it with? Very well. On this particular person? Not noticably worse, or better, than anything else anyone's tried yet. I would agree that it seems unlikely to work, but that's more because I don't think anything external will work right now. The dwarves are for the dwarves, and Greallan is for Greallan, and neither will be tricked.
Are you sure you're not turning it back on me? I feel at this point, you're waiting for me to jump out of a birthday cake and yell "surprise, I was trolling you all along!" I'm not a troll, so stop anticipating. I went through some of it. I admit that I didn't get to the end of "I am not your negro" because they just rehashed the history that I already knew, and other people told me that I would be attacked for acknowledging it. I'm putting it on my todo list to try to get through it again. A concise instruction manual would be more helpful. I was finally told that the story about whites being forcibly chased out of Gary was just typical white-flight. Maybe a thread dedicated to just reading lists with no discussion allowed inside the thread? That was faster than I expected. The worksheet example was the earliest I can remember, (and after I got put into the SPED program just to get me away from a teacher that my mom said was bullying me,) it got worse from there. Because of that, I didn't try to speak up for myself much, but I kept getting shut down for my entire life. The dean at my third college upset me to the point of tears and then mocked me for it. After the trauma from the forth college, I haven't really put myself out there without it being as horrible as being yelled at for not wanting to begin my schoolday in a gym full of many-hundred preteens talking over each other. Is this acceptable? I have a feeling that it would be wiggled if it came from me. It's like that time I reported something, the mod said they did nothing wrong, I got yelled at for the same thing and was accused of playing a game. Noted, thanks for explaining. It still leaves some questions that I'll set aside for if it comes up another time. The naming-conventions there are a bit harsh. I could apply that to the vauging culture in the vent. I saw a tale of someone navigating the problems with being fat while also having problems that didn't have to do with being fat. Would not being able to find large clothes be a problem in Japan? Maybe this is weeb-logic, but I'm under the impression that their average height is shorter and being overweight is rarer there. How much shame should be applied to not realizing the clothing problem? I'd have problems with squat-toilets and could easily see myself making an ungodly mess if I couldn't calm down and rationally try to work things out, and might still fail to stay calm and not cause a mess involving the home-owner. Not tasting food is also an American problem that is a little tangled in the obesity problem, but not completely limited to it. So while the story might have been just a morality play that shouldn't have been where it was, it wasn't completely valueless and at least seemed to generate sympathy for the character.
This makes the third explanation of this incident, getting real sick of clearing up this one specific untruth: You reported a vaguepost that was plausibly about you as bullying. You immediately tried to @ and directly attack another user. No. These are not and have never been equivalent. My only mistake was thinking that your double standards were so intense that they had to be deliberate.
Kinda reversed, I'm expecting just to be mocked and don't have "rebuttal scripts," much less ones that actually work because people keep going off on unexpected paths if I do try to anticipate.
Damn. Guess I'm gonna have to convert now. BUT ANYWAY to get back... On topic??? In as much as we started with a topic I guess? @Greallan I think we have reached the point at which we have all exhausted our options for trying to help you through a forum. Please do not take this as an attack, I'm going to be as blunt as possible. You're steps rn if you really truly do want to learn to be a better person are a) get sober b) get out and away from the toxic environment that contributes to your relapse a c) get a competent therapist. Right now, it's as if were living in a completely different universe from you. Nothing we can do or say from our side is going to help. You don't perceive reality the same as us and we don't perceive it the same as you, and that is a rift too large to reconcile. We can't communicate effectively. A few members have offered to try to help you navigate finding services to assist with the three steps above; I would suggest taking them up on it. For any other interaction on this forum, if something crosses your mind that has ANYTHING to do with race, country of origin, religious affiliation, body type, or physical/mental ability, I suggest you stuff it under a rug and sit on it. Especially if it came froma Reddit board.
Unfortunately, I don't think a concise instruction manual on race in America (or the history of Judaism and antisemitism, for that matter, although I think those "bias-busting" [urgh i hate that term] worksheets that were linked a while back might be a good place to start) exists, or even could exist. You might find the introduction of Let Nobody Turn Us Around helpful, though. It's a massive book (like 700 pages I think), so it's introduction is pretty comprehensive and, iirc, straight forward. I think it's the type of book that a public library could have, or certainly would be willing to request and add to its collection.
He is helping. I feel attacked by mods and the discussion happens in the wiggler. I'm not sure if I tried just dragging it back out with a new post with the wiggled content redacted.
The solid thing I'm going to agree on is that mocking achieves nothing right now other than hurting someone who is not in a good place. From either side. @Greallan I had to take a break for self care yesterday, thank you for abiding by my boundary c: I am perfectly happy to talk to you about things other than this as well, if you want writing advice or something you're welcome in my personal thread if you want a back and forth on that. I'm also happy to talk you through social structures, communication methods, and discerning sources aimed to educate from those aiming to disparage and dehumanize the group they are talking about. For instance, that story you and Beldaran were talking about is one of the latter, even as you got valuable things from it yourself. It was not designed to be actually helpful, and getting helpful things from it, is kind of worrying - not because it makes you a bad person, but because the character you're relating too was designed to be an inhuman caricature to be laughed at. You are not that, even if you feel that way. You're a person who is struggling with a lot.
FWIW I think a thread strictly for educational resources about general SJ issues would be really rad.
First off, this mouse has gotten glitchy as hell and we're waiting on a replacement, so anything that uses the mouse is frustrating. (My mom threw away over a dozen, but that included ball-mice and 6-pin connectors. If there was a usb optical in the bunch, it must have already been worse than this one.) ((Hoarding, what can you do?)) I'd like to know the full story behind this. Man, there are jokes that I would like to add to this. "War on Christmas"... and then not so much of a joke that people confuse me liking Jews as a bad thing. There's a more serious post I'm leaving in the queue for tomorrow, and I hope the cookie saves it.
(As a note I have never read that story this is about, I just like sharing info) I just wanted to offer up some information from my own research: From what I know, finding larger clothes can be hard in Japan. From what I've heard, the difficulty is similar to finding larger clothes in the US. Their obesity rates are lower than ours because they have a far different food culture than we do, along with a metabolism law designed to help keep people aware of their weight / healthy. This law is not well liked, and there's no proof that it actually does anything. Fatphobia in Japan is awful. Squat toilets are very rare in Japan now. There are plenty of regular 'sitting' toilets in places like Tokyo, Kyoto, ect. The only places you will run into only having access to a squat toilet is out in the country / farming / underdeveloped part of Japan. Not tasting food? Do you mean eating quickly? Plenty of people in Japan scarf their food and don't respect if, they're people just like us and I'm not sure if I'm reading 'not tasting food' properly. One of the reasons Japan has such a low rate of obesity has to do with a few things: Their healthcare is much better than ours and actually supports them. Their diets are more varied than ours. According to a blogger I follow kids are recommended to try ten different types of vegetables a day. They focus more on whole food and using the entirety of the food. Most of them eat healthy snacks to keep their metabolism going. In most of Japan, everything you need is within walking distance. They eat mostly fish and chicken as their protein source. If this sounds familiar, it's very similar to our 'Mediterranean Diet' (aka the one doctors recommend). They walk much more than we do (as a country) and have access to country funded playgrounds and gyms. Japan is healthier than the US for a lot of the same reasons other countries are, we do not support our own people with healthcare. (This is all information I have researched and heard second hand.) I'm not going to try and influence you one way or another wrt the rest of these conversations, I just wanted to offer some interesting information that applied to the conversation.
You seem to be living in a universe where I say one thing, you(group) take the exact opposite meaning and then extrapolate to the point where it's surprising that I don't have a familiarity with getting punched by strangers. What you can do from your side is to ask what I meant and then wait for clarification before attacking about a wrong view that got cemented before I was even aware that there was a miscommunication. While you(group) might not be able to help with more sensitive topics because you seem to be a bunch of hair-triggered extremists, (I apologize for thinking differently,) I would have thought that I could have learned something useful about communicating on a forum. I'm not looking forward to another professional just telling me not to interact before I explain the problem. Or is that the solution? Just not interact and stay in isolation forever? It's a problem that could only be solved by making mistakes and learning from them, but all I'm learning is that making mistakes is a terrible thing and someone should be punished for it forever. Getting sober is on my list, getting out of toxic environments depends on me being able to recognize them and giving up the benefits associated, getting a competent therapist is something I'll toy with just to make you happy but I'm not going to keep it up very long unless the seventh's time the charm. There was this thing I encountered while looking up drag queens that might have been appropriate for the TERF thread.. Trans-exclusion relevant, maybe a touch of feminist... Other computer is why I can't bring it up nowrightnow. I would have liked to see other opinions on it, but I guess I'll just have to form my own even if it's one that people here don't like. (Yeah, passive-aggressive, but anything less passive seems to be regarded as a threat. Maybe it's just an excuse to shut up the RETARD.) I tried to just ask people to discuss something after me being the center of it got me an "evil" brand, but it didn't work. Morning note: there's probably more, but I'm getting frustrated with the part where I try to tell people something and they take it the opposite way. And finally the name-change. I was taking the mods missed post as a micro-aggression.
I understand that you're frustrated and hurt by this. I think there's been a lot of miscommunication, and I thank you very much for answering my questions from before. I honestly believe that you aren't a troll. I believe that you're hurting and have picked up a style of communication from people around you that unfortunately makes it a little difficult to understand what you truly mean, in combination with any difficulties from alcohol. You're making excellent steps as listed to getting better, and that should be acknowledged and you should be proud! You are not an acceptable target for harassment. Nobody is. I think if we can work on helping you strip away the confusing layers that crop up when you are explaining your positions, things will go a lot smoother. For instance, a possible reason people are still alarmed and upset by things that are nazi dogwhistles, even after you clarified that you harbor no ill will toward Jewish people, is because you are still referring to them in a dehumanizing way. "Jews control the media" is a thing that will hurt and alarm to hear, even if you say it with the intent of it being a positive thing. Since you have expressed severe distress at the use of the r-slur in that last post via your own usage of it, a comparison that may help would be if someone who meant well but didn't know how laden the term is trying to express their appreciation for disabled people expressly by calling them that, and repeating ableist things at you as if they were positive. It doesn't matter how good the intentions of the person saying it are, the thing is still inherently harmful for a number of complex reasons. If that doesn't help, let me know and I'll try to explain it in a different way. I'm not Jewish myself and cannot go into specific details as that would be crossing a line when there are many folks more qualified than myself to discuss the effects of antisemetic messaging, but I may be able to help with some of your other points of confusion. Lastly, is there anything I can do to communicate myself more clearly for you?
