I... genuinely cannot tell what this is in reference to, or who you are accusing of doing something to you without the mods interfering?
Spoiler: Assault is probably a better word. I got locked up in a looney-bin because of a lashy misunderstanding. After I refused to take my clothes off for an xray, they drugged me and catheterized me without my consent.
Not to come off as conceited, but it's probably me. Spoiler: Context, TW: Rape, Self Victim Blaming She mentioned how she had been treated poorly by a group and that forcing someone to be silent is a form of hurting them. She ended that response that if it wasn't, then why did victims of sexual assault break NDAs? I and at least one other took some heavy offense to that, and she responded by telling of her assault, and how the forum kicking her out was worse than that, but that she was sorry for offending people with NDAs over their heads. Full disclosure: I straight up said that it wasn't a contest (but if it was, my rape would trump her being banned from a place that was not a compatible match to her) and told my own story of being a victim of rape with a cis AFAB perpetrator and being taken advantage of by two adult men as a teen. How society doesn't even consider that to be a rape because she lacked a penis, or they say I'm at fault for not having common sense and wearing short skirts and thongs. How I wished I just had been paid hush money or a forum hating me instead of the fucked up brain. Best I can understand, her ranking her trauma and me commenting about my own lead her to believe I ranked my own rape as 'worse' than hers, which I did not do and my apologies that it did come off that way.
Yes, unfortunately, it is you. However, this response isn't something that makes me sorry that it is and drew your attention, which breaks with a pattern. I'm sorry the conversation went that way, I'm not sure how to balance things so that people understand the hurt without hurting them. Spoiler: A correction, I was more hurt by that forum than the medical thing. Objective ranking is complicated. Someone sociopathically serving a corporation at the expense of considering the human, it hurt less than a bunch of bullies with nothing to gain but jollies. I don't remember you saying it wasn't a contest, but I thought I acknowledged it wasn't a contest. I think it's more of a threshold thing; the cut didn't go as deep but it did leave a scar. You would win if contests in that sort of thing were acceptable. Can you ask for access to the wiggled posts from TCHGB? There's some things I might renounce/recant as things that shouldn't have been said or said in a different way if I hadn't been so pissed, but you were intended to see them. We could go on with better footing either way.
Again, we're not publishing wiggled posts or doing anything else with them to make them more widely available. What any of y'all do with pm's or off site communications is your business, but it's not happening here.
I am still not interested in seeing what was wiggled, as I assume the mods did so for very good reason. I also do not foresee myself becoming interested at any point in the future but if that changes I will certainly let you know. Until then, please do not ask.
Additionally, the easiest way to get on better footing is if you were to stop treating me like a boogeyman and more like someone you've threatened and said some horrid things to.
Context. You weren't exactly squeaky-clean with me either. You are being more reasonable now, so I will react in-the moment as much as I can. Much of the remaining frustration is with the mods and how they created an imbalance. The situation is still a bit stuck to you, but I'll try to separate the person from that.
That post was approved with much reservation. Implying that Etansel was being unreasonable before is not the best thing I've ever read. And we haven't created an "imbalance," you've been incapable of engaging with this person decently and therefore not been allowed to engage at all. There is a difference.
I disagree with that. There were a lot of hurtful things said to me and I wasn't allowed to respond in kind. The latest attempt to get on the same page was as unfruitful as just guessing, and had a air of "why do I even need to tell you this" that was salted by the mods shutting down any further attempt to clarify and not citing tone as the reason.
I don't think telling someone you've threatened and harmed that they're now being more reasonable is flattering on your behalf, especially when the conversation ended because you couldn't recognize that you were, in fact, uttering threats to them. As the mods have told you, there is no imbalance. Yes, I am not on post mod, but I have been willing to go on it in the past due to my inability to interpret how much splash damage I cause when I talk, or how my words will necessarily be perceived. But everything I've said can be backed up and proven or disproven with a matter of clicks. Likewise, if you can cite your examples without exaggeration, I'm certain that the mods would be more than willing to allow your posts through. However, this is not the thread for us to be discussing that. That would be the TCHGB thread where you continue to insist on thought experiments and tangents instead of actually addressing anything that I have specifically requested you do. Any further discussion on my end outside of that thread will be to clarify situations that you have spun into something larger, providing citations and links where required. I request that you stop sniping at me in unrelated conversations to limit the need for me to do so.
I know for a fact that multiple mods gave feedback in the wiggler on why the post in question wasn't approved, and none of it had to do with tone policing. Annnd the whole air of 'why do I have to explain this' business is about... me again, so here I am with context. That was when I was making my second attempt to explain why the post was wiggled. Which was after you completely ignored my first attempt, responded to things I didn't say, and insulted me along the way.
This. I had a guy on the bus recently ask about my cane, then touch my arm and say "maybe you wouldn't need it if you lost some weight". I'm not even sure I am overweight right now, as I rarely weigh myself, but if I am, it's only very slightly. I don't like my weight, but I'm also very aware that hating my body makes it HARDER to take care of it, not easier; shame doesn't help. Off-topic to the thread, but something that is truly important to remember: not wearing your seatbelt doesn't just affect you. A passenger not wearing a seatbelt can basically ricochet around the car, and their bodies can kill other people with the force.
This one is really easy to explain, actually! Trying to prevent or cure HIV is not serophobic; hating and discriminating against HIV+ people is serophobic. And actually, bigotry against people who have the virus makes it much harder for us as a society to fight the virus itself.
??????? 'The latest attempt to get on the same page' was less than a week ago. You've only been posting regularly since...... this june..........
This is why I hate the word "second." Not only does it have multiple meanings, but it relies on frame of reference. Sorry, I guess the climate made me think that June was spring.
hooOOOOOOOLY SHIT, ALARM BELLS FOR THAT COMMENT SECTION This is straight-up pro-ana rhetoric. I've been there, I was there for years, and I know what it looks like. Followed by countless people cheerfully encouraging each other to lie to people so they won't know "what you're doing"? Really brings back memories. We had words for this.
When I see comments isolated like that, it's a lot easier to pick up on the... implications? Undertones? Language-thingy. :/
