Reporting the mods

I see everyone is mad at me for the "decisions about someone's life" post. You might need to remember that I:
- am not a mod
- have stopped suicide-baiting people
- am still assumed to be an evil abuser and anything I do to get better is never enough

You might notice that the last one might be familiar to people on this thread. Wow, I sure wonder why I'm reacting badly to people justly dogpiling this awful, awful narcissistic abuser.

 

Congrats on the therapy! I know we don't particularly like each other but it's genuinely nice to see people getting better.

 

people pointing out they're doing patently awful things is not dogpiling when the splash damage is that wide.
this thread is not about you.
stop projecting.

 

... Wait, are you saying the splash damage that hurt me there isn't, what, important enough ?

 

Thank you! Like, genuinely, thanks! :D

I do genuinely think you should take a step back from this thread though if it's setting you off in such a way. I don't actually want to see a repeat of the tumblr.txt situation the other night.

 

Alix, fucking stop it. Read spock's post.
I spent nearly eight hours talking to you the other night. I wouldn't have done that if I didn't think you can get better. I specifically told you that I think you can get better.

Calling abusive behavior abusive is not wrong.

You are projecting hardcore, you are making things worse for both athol and yourself, and you need to stop before this becomes a massive derail that ends in you feeling attacked and lashing out.

 

I have read Spock's post. I just am already familiar with the "don't be nice to this terrible person, it's enabling them" rhetoric.
Anyway, fine, I'll drop it, I need to try getting some sleep anyway.

 

@palindromordnilap copping flak for Athol is not going to do your mental health any favours, honestly. Take it from me. for your own sake, step out of the thread, and do something you enjoy to get into better headspace before re-engaging.

 

Backing up off the latest spate of posts down here: "if none of them can handle the issue, there is a problem with the mod team" isn't a functional or effective criteria when it's

a) a volunteer position that
b) involves site-wide maintenance outside of interacting specifically with Athol's posts and
c) by all reported accounts, includes significant mod engagement with Athol as well.​

Unless Seebs wants to put in a standard of 'twenty or so other people to randomly assign moderator positions for the explicit purpose of babysitting Athol', there's going to be burnout. That is not an issue of the moderator team being ineffective, or lazy, or poorly staffed, or poorly trained. That is an issue of a highly stressful situation with an actively hostile participant that, according to the site's established parameters, is not going to be banned.

If someone sits in a clothing store and keeps screaming at the workers trying to help them pick out clothes, and will not leave, and they can't kick them out--yeah, the workers will stop coming by to check or help out as often. They're burned out. They're experiencing emotional and psychological toll. The solution is not 'subject more people to this via a rapid fire hiring spree followed by a firing spree because we only needed them for this one problem customer'.

And if a refusal to kick the customer out (ban Athol) is a solid criteria of how the store (forum) functions, then maybe there isn't a feasible solution that will make everyone happy. But in this instance, it is absolutely not the fault of the employees (moderators, who are unpaid volunteers) that being used as a verbal punching bag is exhausting. They are allowed to be exhausted.

The mods are not robots who can supply endless emotional and psychological labor.

 

im not sure how you extrapolated that from what i said

 

That's not what she was saying and it's also not what you had been saying until you directly asked beldaran to stop using a particular turn of phrase with you. You were presenting it as a hypothetical situation.
If it hurt you specifically please try saying that up front.

 

Well, just look at all the "stop projecting"s, "this isn't like your experience"s, and all that.
Anyway, I hope the thread slows down a bit so I can finally sleep, I'm exhausted.

 

Is... is the splash damage seeing someone get accused of being abusive, because you've been accused of behaving abusively?

Because like, I can see how that'd hurt you, but also, like, it's not untrue, cruel, or even unsuitable for this forum to call out genuinely abusive behavior.

Go get some sleep.

 

Yes, and when I gave you a screenshot of someone else doing the exact same thing in their vent thread, you said using other people to further my argumentwas bad.

After a week of reporting the post twice a day and asking the mods to delete or move it, or to let one of my explanation posts go through.

 

The latter was not said. At any point. We told you to stop projecting after it became clear that you were in fact projecting and reacting negatively personally.

in that case (ETA: as you have presented it here), yes it was, cause someone else doing the same thing doesn't make your thing Okay and trying to use someone else doing the same thing as reasoning for why your things should go through when the thing itself is dangerous, is in fact not great.

Please take a break and rest.

 

If anything got buried under gay robot jokes... I just kinda skimmed because things are moving too fast. This is an itemization, though.

Could it be that I'm just thick and have a hard time really understanding things? It got wiggled, but I recently said that I didn't understand if it was okay to believe (that thing that was talked about right after I got here.)

Specific example from the fatlogic discussion, please?

And yes, sometimes hitting me with a clue-by-four is the right thing to do. There's a good sweet spot between being insulting and being very clear and direct; with the only softening being a phrase like "you're not a bad person, but this isn't right."

I'm sorry, when was this? There was this one time, the only time I saw you request a no-ping, which I'm guessing is late summer, I can't remember what the subject of the thread was. You told me not to ping you for the rest of the night. You made another message in that thread that I didn't even read until the next morning and it wasn't something for me to respond to, were you being sarcastic when you thanked me for not pinging you?

I'm sorry if it got taken that way, but I assure you that I intended none of that. Sometimes there was bit of snark in a lighter tone than what was directed at me, but I guess it might have come off as insulting? I'm honestly not sure what to do about it.

This might be relevant. It wasn't until about that point that I realized that Prismatic and Spock were a bit interchangeable in my mind... can't remember why other than I do try to blur connections between people and messages a bit to try and not hold grudges.

Back to it...

I'm sorry that I did get a bit snarky/grudgy against Spock. And I'm sorry that I unrelatedly kept screwing up pronouns and was so slow to get it on how important it was.

This is not lining up with my intent. I'm sorry if somehow a lost in translation error ended up with some sort of implication, but this is really getting out of line.

Here's something where I thought it was talking about me. I'm sorry that somehow what I say gets translated as the exact opposite, and I'm not sure how to fix it if people keep ignoring my requests to make sure we're on the same page. I'm also sorry for losing my temper, but what I was talking about with people provoking me is that it does cause lashing-out.

You have a good suggestion there. I'll work on rereading, but ... I'll go into that later if you ask after a while.

Thanks for that. Not only for the apology itself, but providing a genuine example that I'm comfortable in trying to learn how to emulate properly.

 

man your """apologies""" suck dick

 

Right, I missed making an apology for taking so long to apologize, citing a previous history of getting attacked over something being wrong with it.

 

i'm so sorry that somehow you are misinterpreting my words as the exact opposite and getting your feelings hurt ;)