Reporting the mods

AFAICT, this one.

As far as the rest... How about trying to get on the same page before going all snark-snark? Why do I think that mental issues and being gay in the 90's have a correlation? Am I wrong to think that?

(This is a note to myself and is a memory-trigger for some other questions I'm not going to ask yet... Priscilla's screaming blind-man. Hopefully that will make a connection for me tomorrow.)

 

I am not snarking at you. Even a little bit.

 

Well





That fucking sucks





but on the bright side the image made me laugh a lot

 

Not you, the other people. One of the guys with white icons, I think both of them adopted the "I'm just going to keep repeating myself."

 

Yeah okay that's it, i'm done actually. I dont want to engage with anyone who cannot see what's wrong with wishing a painstaking and "undignified" death from aids on a gay man

i don't care what the context is, i think

i think that's crossed my line

like it's one thing to understand what's wrong with it and do it anyway. that's repugnant and fucked up but it's a thing i can parse

but not getting it

nope sorry you scare the shit out of me.

thats cause they said what needed to be said already and you just dont listen. this is the last thing im engaging with you on. bye.

 

In very very simplified terms:

What I really truly hope you meant: "Being Queer in the 90s often came with considerable mental stress and thus PTSD/Depression/Anxiety and other similar mental health problems"

What some people may read this statement as, especially given you have previously been (accidentally i hope) homophobic: "People must've been insane to be gay in the nineties"/"Being gay is a mental issue"

 

The latter is going to be the first interpretation that comes to mind, I would think, at least for anyone familiar with queer history/politics. Treating queerness itself as a mental illness has always been one of the major means by which queer people have been oppressed. I would say flatly, that was a homophobic thing to say, Athol, even if it wasn't meant to be.

 

Pretty much the first one. Dealing with homophobia might have been a strong contributing factor in how I kept meeting gay people who weren't really at the top of mental health.

But no one asked before taking a jab at me. No one explained why I was wrong in assuming there was a correlation between gay in the 90's and mental health. They just assumed "homophobe is bitchin' something hurtful about tham ebil gays"

This sort of thing just keeps happening where people just keep bagging on me everywhere. I'm upset I'm upset I'm upset I'm upset and no one will listen to anything but the bad stuff that they can use to dehumanize me.

I should just go to ten other forums and get banned from all of them for being so broken, and then go to a hate-sub to be accepted because they'll like my parroting.

 

or you could go to rehab and therapy

seriously, those will both help you be in less pain all the time

 

Been there, done that, waste of money.

I'm having a little bit of maladaptive dreaming about going to some bigot conversion camp and being punished for my wicked beliefs... or them thinking I'm batshit insane for thinking that the stuff that bothers people here makes me worthy of being there.


Something occurred to me... what's the statute of limitations of wishing someone would have died of AIDS? I mean, I haven't even thought about Priscilla in 18 years. And other than disappointment that they were still alive... I mean, he can't be employed now if he was the same immature bitch that he was back then... Not without Trump-money anyway.

 

Wishing horrible death on people is bad.

 

You consistently seem to somehow hit on the worst possible communication mishaps, and I'm ngl i had an instinctive cringe response to the sentence at first too. Unfortunately the "homosexuality is a mental illness" line of homophobia is a very... everpresent narrative, and will be something people will jump to if you word things ambiguously and have an established history of being callous about topics regarding queerness.

Maybe, the next time before you throw out side statements like that, pause, look the sentence over and try to find anything that might need qualifying?

~slight topic shift~

I'm very sorry you are upset but I am also mildly uncomfortable with what I perceive as being asked to comfort you. We do not have a very close relationship and I am not up to helping with this stuff more than very occassionally.
Trying to explain as clearly as possible when it comes to stuff liek this, and looking over your posts again before sending to see if you can find any sentences that are ambiguous/could be read as more malicious/callous/disrespectful than you actually mean it and then fixing those sentences will help a lot with the communication issues, I think.

 

Should I get that tattooed across my face?

Seriously, what should I do about something that happened before some of the people here were born?

 

We don't actually have to assume about whether it was hurtful. That's something we know directly, because it's about whether we got hurt.

 

It doesn't help that, while the initial act happened years ago, you are still making excuses for that in the current time, indicating to most of us that you don't get how it's horrifically fucked up and homophobic to do that for any reason

 

She also explicitly said she didn't get that, so there's another one for the "not an assumption" pile.