Reporting the mods

Hahahhahahahaaaaaa WOW.

Here's a SNIPPET of timeline. If you think I won't unearth and cite and cross-reference a full and complete history, you are sorely mistaken. This is just SOME of what I dug up on my phone while fielding trick or treaters.

^^^YOOOOO check it out, proof positive you understood what I was asking from you way early on and it made.... no difference at all

 

HAHAHAHA, oh wow

No.

I have no interest in talking about primates with you, lmao. I've gotten to see firsthand how badly you've handled one tchgb conversation, no interest there. And making it conditional on your 'interpretations'? When this whole thing has been about you saying false things about me? How much of a sucker do you think i am??

 

Ugh. Mod response before I do anything else. This is up to the line of getting wiggled again, because you keep trying to ask those questions. And getting wiggled. And we explain why it was wiggled. Many times. Many people. Trying so hard to explain.

And you refuse to process or accept any of that and keep. fucking. pushing. I'm approving this here, ONCE, because you didn't directly raise the questions. But between making another push on an angle you've been told is inappropriate, and yet again ignoring Etansel's REPEATED requests that you don't discuss that outside of tchgb, here you are. AGAIN.

Keep pushing on that line of attack, and posts will be wiggled.

 

No.

I thought the post was horrifying. That doesn't mean it horrified me, and I assure you, the "choice of swearwords" is not the issue.

The issue is that the post in question has four sentences, and in those sentences, you express a sort of past-tense disappointment that someone didn't die horribly, namecall, talk about how they should have died horribly if they were like you remember them, namecall more, and talk hopefully about the possibility that they were severely harmed by violent assault. Every sentence in the post expresses an attitude of utter contempt and hatred for another human being, and the closest you get to not expressing that is to say that since obviously anyone as bad as you remember would have died horribly, probably they no longer deserve to die horribly, but with any luck at least they got hurt very very badly in the process.

And so far, the sum total of what I know about this person that makes you so upset with them is that apparently once they rented a movie but didn't watch it, and some possibly-unrelated person had lice, and there was something about a garter belt. And yet! You express a level of vehement hatred and ill-wishing that goes far beyond what I've usually seen from people talking about the people who killed their loved ones.

That's what's "horrifying".

Let me put this in perspective: I know at least one clinically-diagnosed psychopath who would find that post alarmingly hostile.

 

Twenty-four minutes.

Twenty-four fucking minutes between posting this message yourself and being completely confused about why I'm mentioning primates.

And you wonder why I don't want to bother with a tchgb thread with you.

It's because you bent a tiny bit, and I refused to respond by bending double extra far to meet you in the """middle.""" And the "middle" gets all those quotes because after you have aggressed and manipulated and LIED, for literally DAYS, you concede a tiny, tiny point, and then expect me to make up the rest of the difference. Even though my entire sustained point is that you have been telling lies about me.

No.

I've been trying to help from the start, you might notice me still speaking up with little points that help or support your position, but that's all you get from me. You're not entitled to more. You don't get to demand I bend over backwards to make you happy after you've spent days lying about me and insulting me. Come on.

 

(socko is a separate person who came up in etansel's posts in the tchgb thread. I don't remember who assigned the nickname, though)

 

.........uh. apparently? I just did a search for that word, and I guess it's the name that's been assigned to your abuser. all posts with it before this are in the wiggler, and it originated with athol.

that just got real weird real fast :/

 

I asked you how to do this[disagree with you without you feeling attacked] and you didn't respond. I took away that there is no way to do so.

You say you want people to listen to you. People are listening to you, they just don't agree with you and you find that an attack that "riles you up."

I'm not going agree with you in all of these interactions. Other than that, what would make you feel listened to?

 

something that often makes people feel listened to is responding to them in part by paraphrasing what they've said, demonstrating that you understand it well enough to communicate it in your own words.

 

^^ honestly this covers most of the help I provide with communications debugging, especially when I flop myself into the middle of a fight. It's definitely a skill that gets better with practice, but even a totally inexperienced attempt is probably going to win you a lot of goodwill (as long as you don't present those conclusions in an angry/accusatory/aggressive way). Leading off a response with a basic, 'I think you're saying X, Y, and Z', and then going into your response is likely to make the person you're talking to feel heard, and provide a more clear view of your train of thought getting from their words to your reply.

And the most, most helpful thing is that if you got something wrong, that error is stated plainly right there in front, and someone can correct that 'yes, I meant X and Y, but instead of Z, what I wanted to say was Q'. Conversations can happen without this sort of restating, and some disconnects can be inferred without it, but it makes messy discussions so much easier.

(and i freely admit it's a thing i have not been doing here, mainly because it hasn't been working in this case and kind of seems to introduce extra confusion, and i'm tired and sick of spending lots of energy on something this one-sided that doesn't seem to get me anywhere. it's still a good approach if you're having trouble reaching mutual understanding with someone, and it gives onlookers more tools to potentially help)

 

I can attempt the rephrasing suggestion going forward when interacting with Athol. That shouldn't take too much effort, and she has asked repeated for people to "get on the same page" as her. I just really wasn't sure how to do it.

Hey Athol, if this[rephrasing what you think I'm saying at the beginning of the post and then going from there] works for you, can you try to do the same for my posts?

(I'm also trying to clarify my antecedents (what things like "that" or "it" refer to), in my posts. Does this effort help you? If so do you prefer I do it inline, like I've been doing, or like, with an asterisk or something instead?)

 

I can guarantee to 95% confidence that the worst bit of the whole story is that you're still wishing horrible, painful death and injury on someone more than two decades later.