Reporting the mods

saying that lgbt+ folk are inherently promiscuous is incredibly homophobic

edit: or rather that lgbt people chose to act more promiscuously? slightly different but still incredibly homophobic

 

Okay, thank you for the clarification.

That...still doesn't follow as a logic chain that I can make sense of, but I now understand your intent and will remember from this point forward that your current mental image of someone with AIDS is an African child.

However.

That still does not retroactively change the thing you said about Priscilla into something that is not serophobic.

This does not mean that we believe that you hate African children.

It is possible to say something that is bigoted without that being a reflection on your wider moral stance. It happens a lot, accidentally. Sometimes, if you do not have context, you can stumble onto something that is racist or homophobic, etc.

However.

The specific comments about Priscilla, and the disconcerting things you have said about the LGBT community which seem to be based on half-memories and existing prejudices based on your interactions with Priscilla indicate that you are contexually serophobic. As in, in certain specific circumstances, you will say serophobic things and seem to consider them fine because you have a history that 'justifies' it.

This leads to the phenomenon of "I'm not [certain kind of bigoted], but" in which someone maintains that they have [very bigoted beliefs and ideals] but are not bigoted in themselves because they're not applying it to Everyone, just the people they think Deserve It.

This is incorrect. They are still being bigoted.

 

Alright, Spock isn't responsible for the self-harm as the result of her continuing to push my buttons, but why is "you hurt people" enough justification to wiggle any post of mine? I tried to appeal to the result of the hurt Spock was causing me since the pain itself didn't have any effect.

Honestly about the rest of it... I kept complaining about it all day, we finally established it was a turkey-peacock situation, if I post anything specific it would be like a cat complaining to a dog about tail-language.

Once I told Spock to stop talking to me, it was mostly "Spock's still talking to me"

You know what? Prove that it happened after I realized that we were being turkey-peacock. Actually, prove that you understand turkey-peacock.

 

If I were to go and self-harm because I felt so bad about our conversation that I needed to get it out in that way, that would not be your fault unless you had told me to go do it.

However.

A lot of the things you say, and have been trying to say but not been allowed to post, hit on very common intense trigger points among the forum userbase that are likely to result in strong negative mental health consequences for people exposed to them. These crises can take a lot of moderator energy to address, and have further knock on effects and ripples which can result in people losing a lot of progress they have been working for or being messed up for days.

From context clues, I am able to make a solid guess that this has been explained to you before.

If it were isolated incidents, more things would probably be let through, but it is a consistent hazard with the way you communicate.

Okay so first off: don't do that. As established, it is hostage-taking. That is an abusive thing.

"If you won't [do what I want], I'm going to hurt myself and it will be your fault" is abusive. No wiggle room there, it is unambiguously abusive and you need to not do that anymore.

From the rest of this, it does sound like...the problem is that spock is continuing to address the things you say about her. If you do not want spock to talk to you anymore, apologize for the lies - intentional or not - about things she has said, and stop talking to her from here on unless you are willing to accept that by doing so spock has the right to address anything you say about her that is factually false.

 

Posts get wiggled when they are broadly socially unacceptable and potentially harmful to the community.

Spock responding to you and fact correcting events is not even remotely in the same category.

 

Alright, Spock isn't responsible for the self-harm as the result of her continuing to push my buttons, but why is "you hurt people" enough justification to wiggle any post of mine? I tried to appeal to the result of the hurt Spock was causing me since the pain itself didn't have any effect.

Honestly about the rest of it... I kept complaining about it all day, we finally established it was a turkey-peacock situation, if I post anything specific it would be like a cat complaining to a dog about tail-language.

Once I told Spock to stop talking to me, it was mostly "Spock's still talking to me" rather than anything specific. They might have gotten away with talking to me through a rough sock-account if they did the right fiddling.

Dammit, I'm having trouble with the search function... I remember making my own bulleted question list that involved serophobia or African children, I can't seem to find it and there's a lot of crap to wade through. I don't recall getting a straight answer about it.

I granted a temporary reprieve and haven't given the signal that it's over, IIRC AFAICT MWK.

 

Well, this is why I was looking for the bullet-list.. Something about saying something bigoted makes you a bigot, and everything you say afterward is viewed as bigoted because it's coming from a bigot.

Okay, I was just going to go all bigot-pride anyway, but this makes me feel a whole lot better about being a bigot. There's a lot worse things to be.

 

That's not what I was saying, that's not the takeaway you should be getting from this, and I absolutely refuse to allow you to use my good-faith breakdown of the problem in this way.

Fucking knock it off. This is the angriest you will ever see me and I'll say this straight up: how fucking dare you use my words like this. I want an immediate apology.

 

Ooooh, refusing to back up their claims with facts. /s We can ignore that bit if we can talk about the rest of it in some sort of productive manner. Please realize that somehow you're making me angry without intending to, and the best thing for you to do is to let me tell you when to stop participating in this thread.

 

Again, does that include me telling her to shut up? The boundary is still down, but once I set it again, is "I want you to stop talking to me" enough of a lie for her to go tromping in?

 

No

No

No

No

No

This Is Abusive. Stop It. You Do Not Get To Demand That Other People Stop Participating In Conversations By Threatening Them With Either Consequences Of Your Anger Or Your Personal Safety.

 

If someone is making you angry consistently "somehow" (i.e. even you don't know why)

then that is a You Problem.