Reporting the mods

Discussion in 'That's So Meta!' started by Athol Magarac, Oct 24, 2018.

  1. Kathy

    Kathy Well-Known Member

    It does if you are continuing to ping her or talk about her yes. The boundary you set was unreasonable, continues to be unreasonable, and is based off abusive behaviors.


    Also, here's a free tip straight off the dome "could you please stop talking to me directly, I find it triggering right now" will get you a lot further than "shut up"
     
    • Agree x 2
  2. Athol Magarac

    Athol Magarac I prefer reading posts without a lot of topics.

    I do not understand. I am sorry for not understanding and I do not know how to fix it. I thought that we were getting to a better place, but now I need to figure out what went wrong.

    I did miss explaining that I don't recall anyone responding to that post I was trying to find. Likely it will make things worse.
     
  3. Athol Magarac

    Athol Magarac I prefer reading posts without a lot of topics.

    Timestamp love is the only reason I'm not angry, but please cut it out.
     
  4. Kathy

    Kathy Well-Known Member

    I gave you an extended breakdown of the form of bigotry you were displaying with the aim of helping you recognize and start to fix it and you used this to declare that you were just going to go all "bigot pride" and that being a bigot "isn't the worst thing to be".

    That is unacceptable, it is not what I was trying to communicate, and I want you to remember right the fuck now, write it down tangibly if you need too, that wasn't what I was saying that you should do and that you've used my help in a reprehensible way to excuse your bigoted behavior.

    I am not, in any way, nor will I ever, tell you that being bigoted is a-ok. I will point out your behavior patterns so that you can learn from them. This requires that you engage with the reality of what I am saying, and not the fantasy world you have constructed in which words do not mean anything.


    Yes that last sentence was kind of mean. I am very angry.

    I want an apology for using my help to excuse the conclusion you clearly wanted to come too - of embracing your bigotry, rather than doing anything to change it.
     
    • Witnessed x 11
  5. Snitchanon

    Snitchanon What's a mod to a nonbeliever.

    Why should I write things again if you clearly didn't read them the first time?
    I'm a busy Snitch, I got things to do.
     
    • Winner x 1
  6. Athol Magarac

    Athol Magarac I prefer reading posts without a lot of topics.

    SAME PAGE< PLEASE>

    "I concede X." "Holy fuck no. Don't do that, you need to realize X."

    Could you just translate what you thought I said?

    "Alright, Spock isn't responsible for the self-harm as the result of her continuing to push my buttons"
     
  7. spockandawe

    spockandawe soft and woolen and writhing with curiosity

    'spock continues to push my buttons, therefore, self-harm' is a phrasing structure that implicitly places blame on me. You say that it's the RESULT of my actions. This is blaming me, just with a slightly indirect sentence structure.
     
    • Agree x 6
  8. Athol Magarac

    Athol Magarac I prefer reading posts without a lot of topics.

    I'm guessing that you're getting tired and you'll stop?
     
  9. Athol Magarac

    Athol Magarac I prefer reading posts without a lot of topics.

    Could you stop without demanding that I stop lying? I mean physically could you stop yourself from clicking "post reply" even if you think I'm lying?

    I think we're just not in the same soccer pitch at this point.
     
  10. Lizardlicks

    Lizardlicks Friendly Neighborhood Lizard

  11. Snitchanon

    Snitchanon What's a mod to a nonbeliever.

    I am as inexhaustible as the slow march of continents.
     
    • Winner x 14
  12. spockandawe

    spockandawe soft and woolen and writhing with curiosity

    Okay, folks. This has gone far enough that I'm not willing to leave the pieces scattered. Here's the self-hostage escalation I've been dealing with over the last 48 hours, in what's hopefully chronological order. All sources are cited, but some links are to wiggler posts and won't work for most users. This hits the main points, but it isn't really everything.
    1. (X) Screaming at me to let her sleep, hours after I last posted
    2. (X) Blaming me for making her cry, complete with an @
    3. (X) Threatening to send me videos of her self-harming every time I reply to her
    4. (X) Blaming me for the quantity of alcohol she drinks, and threatening to take up smoking again because of me
    5. (X) Blaming me talking to her too much for the way she's having trouble... reading? I don't know, this one is confusing, but whatever is wrong, it's apparently my fault.
    6. (X) "Spock will kill me". Classic.
    7. (X) Repetition of blaming me for how much she drinks every time I post, with an @ (and with an acknowledgment that this is fucked up, but she's doing it anyways)
    8. (X) Explanation of "Spock will kill me", blaming me for how much she drinks
    9. (X) "Spock's abuse", blaming me for how much she drinks, threatening self-harm, implying suicide
    10. (added later) (X) Taking back the apology for blaming me for self-harm, again blaming me for how much she drinks
    11. (added later) (X) Comparing self to a rabid dog that needs to be put down, nominally saying I'm not to blame, but that just means that [she] must have chosen to punch [herself] in the face. Also repeating that she said I wasn't to blame, ignoring the way she took that back.
    12. (added later) (X) Phrasing things sort of like taking responsibility... except it was her for for letting me do a thing. The words still leave the blame in my hands for putting her in that position. I don't think she's following the explanations of what the words actually say.
    13. (added later) (X) More phrasing things almost like she's taking responsibility, except still laying the blame on me.
    14. (added later) (X) More phrasing things sort of like she's taking the responsibility, more ultimately blaming me.
    15. (added later) (X) More of the same, referencing the self-harm video threats.

    (added later) This doesn't really fit on the self-hostage list, but I think it merits inclusion here.
    1. (X) Lashing out by (insincerely, obviously) claiming she wanted to bait me into committing graphic suicide.
     
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2018
    • Witnessed x 17
  13. Snitchanon

    Snitchanon What's a mod to a nonbeliever.

    "Stop calling attention to my lies!" says known liar.
     
    • Agree x 5
  14. rigel

    rigel in a line of late afternoon sun

    im actively beginning to believe that the "same page" for you means a completely different book in another fucking galaxy for everyone else.

    heres the page im on, plain and simple:

    "the self-harm as the result of her continuing to push my buttons" is an abusive thing to say.

    threatening repeatedly to harm yourself while blaming someone else for you having done so is abusive.

    it is not anyones job to behave the way you want them to in fear of you up and deciding to harm yourself. holding your life and wellness hostage because you dislike that other people dont agree with you is wrong.
     
    • Agree x 9
  15. TheSeer

    TheSeer 37 Bright Visionary Crushes The Doubtful

    Basically, you made a statement that theoretically said Spock wasn't responsible, but you embedded in it a false premise that, if believed, would mean that Spock actually was responsible.
     
    • Agree x 5
  16. Kathy

    Kathy Well-Known Member

    Can you stop lying?

    You requesting that spock not draw attention to your falsehoods is an unreasonable boundary. While it is a thing Spock could do, it's not a thing she should do.
     
    • Agree x 7
  17. spockandawe

    spockandawe soft and woolen and writhing with curiosity

    At this point, I'm pretty much out of goodwill to extend, which is hopefully understandable after that last post.

    I've kind of given up hope of a coherent explanation, so I think, think that she's saying that every time I repeated 'lies', I was referring to her most recent posts, which were largely about her feelings. I was not. When I said something was false, I referred to fact claims, like 'mods wouldn't explain why they wiggled this', or 'spock got uppity about her pronouns'. I have repeated multiple times that people are not calling her a liar about her feelings. I think that's what she's accusing me of lying about.

    And it isn't a lie. I've made a point of repeating that the lies I'm talking about are FACTUAL and PROVABLY UNTRUE. You can't prove what someone is feeling from across the internet. It's absurd. I wouldn't bother trying to build a case on that. But I will argue about a person saying 'you didn't do X' when I have access to history that says I completed X at whatever time/location.

    It's criticism making her feel attacked and defensive, plus strong feelings affecting her memory of history. There isn't any point that someone told her she was lying about her feelings, but it doesn't feel that way, so she doesn't believe it when people tell her. Never even mind trying to order me to prove a negative. I've already cited the factual history extensively, and obviously I can't cite a factual history of the emotions she Truly Experienced, so I'm not going to bother trying. I care about the facts. I care about her not saying, again, FACTUAL, PROVABLY UNTRUE things about me. At this point, she's angry enough at me that idk if she'll be willing or able to untangle her emotions from the facts, but I'm not going to concede ground that leaves me in a place of agreeing to passively accept it when she says things that are, again, FACT CLAIMS and PROVABLY UNTRUE.
     
    • Witnessed x 7
    • Agree x 4
  18. Athol Magarac

    Athol Magarac I prefer reading posts without a lot of topics.

    Okay, I had to track back... I think I would prefer a TCHGB thread between me and you at some point, so your call on whether or not it happens.

    Priscilla is the only reason I spent any time as a homophobe. Without him, I would probably be believing that they're (homos) saints that could do no wrong because they were being oppressed. Right now, I'm a mess of "right things for the wrong reason" but I'm happy with being cynical, pragmatic, and fitting one (1) or more of the nicer bigot tropes. Except for the part where this is some sort of sundown town for people with viewpoints that favor non-minorities.

    (1)
    Yeah, TCHGB please because holy crud I can't let that thing go unaddressed and I'll probably be better for this in the morning.
     
  19. Kathy

    Kathy Well-Known Member

    All of this is flatly unacceptable and athol you don't get to make any demands that spock stop addressing this stuff.

    You need to apologize for all of it and stop doing it. Flat out just Stop It.

    Call an emergency hotline if your emotional state is so severely compromised.

    Your behavior continues to follow the patterns of narcissistic abuse. You're being an abuser. Right now, actively. This is all severely abusive. The fact that Spock is not emotionally compromised by your actions does not make them unabusive.

    Before anything else, you need to apologize for this. I'll write you an apology if you don't know how to do it, but on the condition that you only post it if you are sincere.
     
    • Witnessed x 7
    • Like x 1
    • Agree x 1
  20. Athol Magarac

    Athol Magarac I prefer reading posts without a lot of topics.

    So... I'm not allowed to agree and back down? I'm not sure where the translation is because you seemed to have completely missed what I was saying.
     
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