Reporting the mods

one might even say.... wiggler room

 

@Athol Magarac if you don’t want to get pings in the TCHGB thread you can go into your settings and turn off notifications for when your posts are quoted. You might want to let people know to @ you any time they reply to your messages in th future if you do that though, since I don’t believe there’s a way to disable quote notifications for a single thread.

 

Eh, my stomach is going to keep spasming no matter what. I'm just going to learn from this that empathy (whether expecting it or having it for others) will just keep getting me hurt.

 

Athol. Stop that.

 

From what I've been able to glance at, it's a case of miscommunication getting out of hand and I got burned out about the whole thing.

There's this one thing in the wiggler...

I wish you could see how communication math breaks down. Like, I said x/y and they think I said x. Or I say -x and they wiggle it for x, which what really frustrated me before I got too worn out to care.

 

I understand but you're catastrophizing conclusions again, and it still does not excuse how you lashed out at spock.

Do you think you can express that you understand that, without catastrophizing the conclusion or shifting the blame?

 

Things got out-of-sequence... Can you transfer to the wiggler? I'll check back in .5-1 hour unless I start nailing housework. If I get really on the housework, you might as well wait until New York sunrise though I might get back to you after sunset.

 

I don't know what you mean about transferring to the wiggler I'm afraid. Good luck with housework.

 

I meant that Kathy should transfer to the TCHGB and I wish Kathy could see the wiggler. Posting the link was mostly for a kindness to my future me.

 

The only thing I can fucking work on is the level of frustration at being misunderstood.

I spent fucking years communicating at WorldofWarcraft-level english. Then at Reddit with the only negative comment for anything heinous enough.

 

You can work on communication. It's hard and will take active effort, but it's worth it and will result in net less frustration for all parties concerned. i know you've got a lot that you're working on right now, and that effort is noted and i appreciate that you're trying.
i do not have the spoons for indepth debugging today, so if you want to answer my question from before over in the tchgb thread instead of here, go for it and i'll respond when i can.

 

you can also work on how you express that anger

I would strongly suggest doing so with a licensed therapist

but if you want some quick tips on how to communicate anger and frustration in a way that's significantly less likely to end up in the wiggler, here-

examples of good ways to express anger:

1. "I'm really fucking angry about x"
2. "I'm currently very frustrated over x"
3. "I feel like shit over this"
4. "fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck"*

*this one isn't actually helpful for communication, but it expresses the feelings without running into the areas that seem to get you into trouble, @Athol Magarac

examples of fucking terrible ways to express anger:

1. "it's x person's fault I drank too much/hurt myself/otherwise self-harmed"
2. "leave me alone or else I'll hurt myself"
3. "if you don't stop doing x, I'll binge drink"

hopefully this will help

that explains a lot.

have you considered spending time in more positive communities?

bc at this point the only places more negative that I can think of are the public league of legends servers and 4chan. and certain parts of tumblr

 

With matchstick philosophy, I burned the same amount of matchsticks on emotional baggage with Etan that Spock took on...

I'M FUCKING SORRY THAT i NEVER ACKNOWLEDGED THAT SPOCK WASN'T TO BLAME FOR MY DRINKING.

 

uh, what?

what is matchstick philosophy?

please tell me that that wasn't the only thing you took from that post

edit: but even if it was all you got from my post, that was genuine progress and I shouldn't make light of it

 

even in caps i'll take that. that's solid and actually what i was after.

 

Unmarked sarcasm... or... I'm convinced that my quote that Spock wasn't directly to blame was quoted many times.

 

From here, morning. Go sleep or talk to the neighbor about how they walk. Or, I might come back after more Princess, or for a really heavy discussion on Claudia from Dragon Prince.