Reporting the mods

You have got to be fucking kidding me.
Content or Trigger Warnings are things people put on their own content to make it so content consumers (aka other people) can make informed decisions about what content to engage with.
Spock's tone sets you off? Quit fucking talking about her.
Cease this constant stretching and pulling of goalposts to try and be in the right for telling her off for... expressing displeasure at your absolutely attrocious behavior?
Just. Just stop doing that. Suddenly spock will not have reason to engage with you anymore. There, problem goddamn solved.
Literally no one is forcing you to remain part of this community if it's upsetting you so much. This forum has some tools for managing your exposure to upsetting shit. You can put any thread or subforum on ignore as much as you want.
The only thing it doesn't let you do afaik is put mods and admins on ignore, which I do think is kinda a bad design oversight (@seebs is there a way to actually fix that with the software, I don't actually recall?), but again, no one's forcing you to be somewhere that has a mod team you don't get along with. Go and join ravelry or some shit and talk about innocuous topics like knit and crochet there until you learn the shape of normal smalltalk without upsetting folks every second step.

 

A note about tone. It's been pointed out in the past that your perception of tone does not correspond with the writers intended tone, or how most people read the tone.


It's not possible for people to give tone warnings, if there is no way to predict how you will read the tone of any given message.


(To be clear, I find this to be a deeply unreasonable request, on top of being impossible.)

 

I take exception to being told I'm ignoring ways. The ways I have noticed:

Leave the forum, which admittedly running away would solve the problem. But it wouldn't solve the bigger problem of not being able to work on communication difficulties. Anywhere else, I'm one blackporkchop moment away from getting banned and having to start over, which is itself upsetting. I could just not communicate with anyone at all. It's not like social interaction is covered under food/shelter/water categories.

Just stop talking about things that bother me like getting wiggled for the wrong reason. That would also lead to a decline in mental health unless I stop caring about anything.

Could you point out any that I missed or misunderstood?

Wait... are you yelling at me for trying to avoid the wiggler? Is sanitizing things for that purpose bad? Are you even yelling? This sounds really pissy to me. Can I carry on using sanitized statements, or is there something you want me to do differently?

Yeah, still not getting this part. I'm forcing you at gunpoint to keep pushing at me?

Note to self: come back to the rest of Snitch's post and then see what's under it.

 

Hey, would it be helpful if I read this aloud? What tone are you trying for?

 

Holy mother of blaming other people for your actions, Batman.

You know what would keep you from being triggered in this situation? Stopping your shitty behavior.

 

That would depend on how you personally read it. I could read that in multiple different tones, from “gentle but vaguely frustrated” to “angry and sarcastic.” Tone is very difficult to convey and accurately read in a text based medium.

I have a suggestion which no one is obligated to use, but perhaps consideration of it could lead to clearer communication, which is use of color to indicate tone. For example:

Blue could indicate calm.
Purple could indicate angry but still calm.
Red could indicate anger with no attempt to be calm.
Green could indicate sarcasm.
Different shades could indicate different levels of emotion.

This is hardly an exhaustive list, but if you think this is something that would be helpful to you, @Athol Magarac, I recommend that you put what will make sense to you in your signature, and if someone uses a color then double check with them to be sure they mean the same thing you would.

 

Classifying their actions as "pushing" IS blaming them.

No one here is "pushing" you to drink, or to self-harm, or to make threats. Those are all decisions you made yourself, and claiming that you were "pushed" is placing the blame on the people you claim "pushed" you.

 

I'm afraid you can't simplify the intricacies of human communication with forum markup. People will just subvert and complicate the new system.

 

I said multiple times, like at least 4, and I know you saw them, Snith.

I mean, should I start talking about things in gory detail, because I'd rather... what was that word you used earlier, it was more elegant than understatement... sanitized. It's a good word, right? They use it to sell countertop cleaner, I think.

 

If you know that you're bad at tone, why not trust people when they tell you how a post comes off or how they read it instead of assuming they're trying to hurt or silence you?

In particular, you accuse a lot of people of yelling. Yelling in text is generally communicated one of two ways

ALL CAPS. I'm pretty sure you know this one because I've seen you use it. This one's generally considered the ruder of the two unless its used for just one or two words for emphasis or as a joke.

Exclamation points! One exclamation point in a paragraph may just be regular emphasis on a statement (like in this paragraph) but if there's multiple sentences with exclamation points, its probably a form of yelling. Multiple exclamation points in a row are definitely yelling. The harder part might be distinguishing between excited yelling and angry yelling because that depends entirely on context. Someone making a post about a new episode of a favorite show with exclamation points is probably excited yelling

This paragraph is yelling! Of course now I have to think of more sentences here. Because I don't want to be yelling at you! I just want to show you what yelling might look like!! And I'm probably overusing the exclamation points a bit. But I wanted to show a very strong difference between this paragraph and! the! others!!!

Ok, no more yelling from me. If you look back at the posts you have called yelling in the past, you'll see there's little to no exclamation points usage.

What people have used is bolding. Bold text isn't yelling, its emphasis. It says, "this statement is important, pay attention". Italics can mean something similar but with slightly different nuances.

Asking for tone clarification is good but try to avoid accusing people of a tone. A good script for that is "I'm reading your tone as X, is that right?" And believe their answer.

Hopefully this was helpful and not too long to process.

PS: getting sober will help with that whole "I could've sworn I made a post saying this already" "did someone hack my computer?" thing

 

I could swear I followed up that question with a ramble about how I think this laptop has a microphone and a question on how to tech-wise make the read-aloud available.

Anyway, I think that colors aren't very eye-friendly. I wasn't thinking about that a while ago. There was also the emoji thing... If someone shows me how the image-code works, I could try and botch a set of custom emojis. Or maybe sudo-code?

 

How about we go to corners? I'm getting a bit better about igoring you when I don't feel up to seeing you.

 

Oh, that means Edit to add... I figured out something that kinda sounded like Edit: but that's a lot more elegant once it's understood.

I think I just said that I'm getting better at ignoring you if I'm not up to having you talk to me.

I haven't been lying. I might have had some slippages about not prefacing with "I feel". I'm kinda not up to diving into the TCHGB but is there something recent where I was wrong?