Reporting the mods

Discussion in 'That's So Meta!' started by Athol Magarac, Oct 24, 2018.

  1. Snitchanon

    Snitchanon What's a mod to a nonbeliever.

    Yes there is.
    In order to find out what it is, you will need to discover the hidden skill of "doing your own damn homework".
    Once you've discovered the joys of "doing your own damn homework", everything will be much easier and people will like you more.
    Try "doing your own damn homework" today! It's available for the low, low price of "doing your own damn homework"!
     
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  2. Athol Magarac

    Athol Magarac I prefer reading posts without a lot of topics.

    Fine. @Snitchanon identify your own lie on page 64.
     
  3. rigel

    rigel in a line of late afternoon sun

    identify literally any of yours!
     
    • Agree x 5
  4. Snitchanon

    Snitchanon What's a mod to a nonbeliever.

    Oh wow, you got me. I'm totally chastened by your usage of the 'NO U' defence.

    That was sarcasm. You lie all the time, or you have such a flaky grasp on things like 'facts' and 'reality' that it makes no difference.
     
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  5. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    I don't think she's lying, exactly. She's just not saying things that are true. And I can't tell why, or how, but the net result is, we have this recurring pattern, and it doesn't get better, and people are just sorta burned out on it.
     
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  6. Kathy

    Kathy Well-Known Member

    Every bit of help I've provided to help you debug communication issues and inadvertent tone and context. Of which there is Many.
     
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  7. Athol Magarac

    Athol Magarac I prefer reading posts without a lot of topics.

    Hey, um, this is a weird idea, but you know, just not assuming things.

    I feel like I'm being punished for trying to be truthful and encouraged to lie, and every time I get confused and slip out of the reality that you're trying to impose on me... it's awful.

    I think someone brought up "shitty behavior" as if I'm not trying to make best-efforts while being developmentally crippled.

    Hey, talking about me in third-person is a really strong anti-trigger. Using "it" as a pronoun for me was a stretch that got entertained, but how about exploring the idea of not using "you" or using the digital equivilent of eye-contact?
     
  8. Athol Magarac

    Athol Magarac I prefer reading posts without a lot of topics.

    Okay, fair point, I should go trying to look for that. Search for things made by Kathy limited to this thread doesn't sound too painful for something I should do in the morning.
     
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  9. Kathy

    Kathy Well-Known Member

    Take care of yourself, remember that responding to the forum does not take higher priority over daily self-care tasks.
     
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  10. Athol Magarac

    Athol Magarac I prefer reading posts without a lot of topics.

    I'd compliment you on how effortlessly you fail to trigger me, but somehow that's abusive.
     
  11. spockandawe

    spockandawe soft and woolen and writhing with curiosity

    Hey, whaddup, that's me again. And yeah, by just about any metric, threatening to send videos of self-harm is shitty behavior. Which is to say nothing about the wiggled content I just caught up on, got damn XD

    Anyways! Your attempted you-don't-understand-autistic-literalism gotcha was ineffective, because I'm autistic. This gotcha is also ineffective. Because I'm developmentally delayed. And I've put in a lot of work figuring out the ways I was inadvertently hurting people around me and finding ways to mitigate it. I put a lot of work into studying people and social rules, which would be super useful for me to help with your situation, except for the way you've decided all mod criticism of your wiggled posts is invalid.

    Anyways, I was going to put off the chore of updating tchgb, but that wiggled post is significant, wow XD
     
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  12. IvyLB

    IvyLB Hardcore Vigilante Gay Chicken Facilitator

    So just to be clear, the preferance here is to not get referred to in the third person, or second person singular?

    Because in that case we are going to have a problem and that problem is called 'there is no viable alternative unless there is preferance for a language without the concept of 1st/2nd/3rd person singular as a grammatical construction.' I am not currently aware of any languages like that, so I am also distinctly unable to speak them, as awareness of a language's existence kind of is necessary for being able to learn that language.

    edit to fix a slip up, and also to add that I have demonstrated here that said request, while doable somewhat in english (technically, by ommitting pronouns, not quite truthfully if you strictly go by grammar rules I think but I'm no linguist) is both clunky as hell and actively painful for my head to achieve.
    Again disclosure, hyperlexic tendencies, however also writing in my second language rn.
     
    Last edited: Nov 15, 2018
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  13. spockandawe

    spockandawe soft and woolen and writhing with curiosity

    Wow, it would be convenient if there was like.... some kind of thread...... where these interactions were recorded. What a shame nothing like that exists. I mean, just imagine if it existed and you posted to it multiple times without apparently processing what the entire point of the thread was.

    But let's go SUPER short-term. Like how you keep insisting you've apologized for and/or acknowledged what was fucked up about your behavior

    I'm not even going to collect links because this is a major topic of discussion within the last few pages of this thread, and the lack of apology is more thoroughly cited in tchgb. Besides, digging up links would be a waste of time when I'm pretty sure you're going to ignore this again

    This isnt an externally imposed reality. This is the cold, hard historical facts. Which are recorded. You. Are. Saying. Things. Which are provably untrue.

    And I'm going to keep collecting these contradictions because you keep being an ass about 'ummm well ACTUALLY i already said--' when in fact you have done no such thing.

    Literally one hour beforehand, bolding mine:

    Words mean things. You have used different words. Which are not even approximately equivalent. Therefore, follow this, these two statements.... mean different things.

    Going to separate corners has a DIRECT meaning of physical separation. That's not connotation, it's just THE MEANING OF WORDS. And not being up to seeing me isn't the same as not being up to talk to me. Nobody can magically infer your meaning when you say things you don't mean.

    Avoiding third person and 'you' (second person) mean that there is literally virtually (ivy saw an option i missed) no way for anyone to talk to or about you. That's unreasonable.

    And let's not forget, the tchgb thread exists because you are incapable of NOT complaining about me in public spaces. You wanted to know how to make me go away. You yelled at me for explaining that the solution is to stop talking about me. You are STILL not capable of not-talking about me.

    Good fucking god, demanding that I pretend you aren't in the room while you pull THAT shit is one of the least self-aware, MOST entitled things I've seen from you yet. Nobody's stopping you from talking mad shit about me. You are remarkably unsilenced on that topic. But if you keep talking about me, i am sure as FUCK going to keep engaging.
     
    Last edited: Nov 15, 2018
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  14. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    How does it work out when people ask you to clarify your meaning? Does it work out in a way that would encourage them to try again?

    The only "reality" that anyone is trying to impose is actual observable facts.

    But! It is absolutely true that you often say viciously cruel things, and then we don't approve those posts. And people keep asking you to apologize, and I think you've made it really clear that you don't feel sorry in any way for any of what you do. We can tell this, because no matter how directly or clearly someone tells you what you did that hurt them, you consistently apologize for things they didn't say you did, and usually things that didn't happen.

    And you might view this as being "punished for being truthful". But actually, you're being discouraged from being so blatant about being an asshole.

    It doesn't matter whether or not they're best efforts. It matters whether or not you are successfully not saying completely false things about what other people did or said.

    I also simply don't believe that this has anything to do with "development". It might have to do with being very drunk.

    Anyway, I've said it before, and will likely say it again: I do not believe that it is within your ability, at this time, to correctly describe a thing anyone has said about you that was critical.

    This is a really, really, low standard. I'm not requiring you to agree with it. I'm not requiring you to describe everything they said. I'm just looking for you to accurately describe a single criticism that has been made of you. Not editing it into a criticism you like more, or a criticism that's more obviously unfair, or anything like that. Just describe what the criticism was.

    And you can't. And that's the problem here. This isn't about "development", this is about whether or not you are willing to actually confront a thing. If you aren't, you'll stay unhappy.
     
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  15. spockandawe

    spockandawe soft and woolen and writhing with curiosity

    And I did forget to reply to this. Like was said, reading aloud might help, but won't guarantee accuracy. The emphasis placed on the words shifts everything, and in more ways than can be reflected in italics/bold/etc. That post is calm, but highkey annoyed, and tired, because I'm real sick of how you keep coming back to this conversational cul-de-sac, where you admit you have trouble with that element, but try to make it everyone else's problem.
     
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  16. Kathy

    Kathy Well-Known Member

    incorrect. i have obtained an apology in the past, regret for harm caused, and empathy. she is capable of feeling sorry. for some reason, she doesn't seem to feel - correct me if I'm wrong athol - that she should or needs to be sorry with regard to the harm done to spock.

    i get the frustration and all but the last thing that'd be helpful is accidentally convincing her that she cannot empathize with people or feel sorry for harm caused to them. she catastrophizes super hard from statements like that, reliably.
     
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  17. 3strim

    3strim Professional Accidental Rater

    I'll go back to shoving out until I'm brought up again, but part of what Seebs is referring to is, I think, the TCHGB thread for Athol and I.
     
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  18. Astrodynamicist

    Astrodynamicist Adequate Potato Goblin

    FWIW I’m actually parsing this as a preference for being referred to in the third person. This comes from interpreting “anti-trigger” to mean a soothing thing, vs a trigger which is a distressing thing.
     
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  19. Athol Magarac

    Athol Magarac I prefer reading posts without a lot of topics.

    Um... English used to be my favorite subject, but I didn't understand any of that.

    I'm using a joke to explain, but honestly let's go with "stupid but works."

    I want you(group) to talk to a brick wall instead of me. Try it for a day and we'll see if it can go on for a while (month or 3) before seeing if it's still needed.
     
  20. Kathy

    Kathy Well-Known Member

    I absolutely understand that, I'm sorry you've been involved again, and I will firmly maintain that you very much need an apology as well :C
    I was trying to point out an identified communication problem, as well as a factual inconsistency. While I did not need an apology nearly as badly as yourself or spock or jove, I did get one.

    athol has historically latched on to statements like the one I quoted from seebs and catastrophized from them to come to a conclusion that it's not worth trying and she should just give up. That's continually a point of contention that bogs down discussion, so I mentioned it as a means of hopefully smoothing out communication, reducing contention, and achieving the end goal of her understanding that she did harm and that the harm done requires genuine apologies even if she does not understand the harm itself.

    Super my bad if it seemed like I was dismissing the stuff she's done to you.
     
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