Reporting the mods

You have extreme anger issues and little to no healthy coping mechanisms and from what I have seen the vast majority of your thinking is harmful - to you as well I'll add - cognitive distortions. You need to find a therapist and be honest with them about the things you say and do to people.

I get it, you don't have any self-esteem, you don't feel human, you get hurt and you want to lash out and I apologize if this sounds callous or cruel but...

Join the club?

I don't feel human, I have very little self-esteem and what I have is incredibly fragile, this year is literally the first in my entire life I wasn't being actively abused and yet, somehow, I manage not to do the sort of thing you are despite having a mental health condition for which diagnosis requires meltdown states and harmful behaviour that I actually cannot control in the moment. I used to have a lot more trouble but I cared, I didn't want to hurt people and I've clawed my way up from that.

Trauma is not an excuse. Very, very few mental health conditions are an excuse.

They can be reasons, but it doesn't excuse harm caused.

Own. Your own. Actions.

You can do better. I get that it sucks to be told over and over again that you're being abusive, I get the desire to shift the blame and try to make the person you've abused a little responsible for it so you don't have to confront how shitty the thing you did was, but it's wrong. It's not healthy. It's a thing you've done again and again and again and unless you commit to working to change it and take an active hand in your own personal development, you're going to wind up in this situation in every community you enter because right now? You are a toxic person.

So start working to get the hoarding under control. Do not escalate your drinking. Find a therapist. Be honest with the therapist. Maybe print out some of the things you've said and received pushback for and hand them over and ask for feedback and help.

You have to want to change. You have to want to do better. You need to see that there is a problem identified and work toward fixing it. There is no easy, immediate fix. Cognitive distortions are often hard-baked in after a point, they reinforce themselves. To use an analogy you might recognize - your brain? is crab-bucketing itself right now.

Your thought processes reinforce themselves whenever anything challenges them. You're doing to yourself the same thing incels do, catastrophizing everything until the end state is feeling like there's no point and you have to lay down and rot, and then getting viciously angry and lashing out based on this conclusion which is a result of your own distorted thought processes. You're trapped in a vicious loop and it's only going to get worse unless you take responsibility for your own state, stop placing the blame on others, and initiate the process of educating yourself about cognitive distortions and challenging them whenever they come up.

 

The only thing that resonates with me is the "should" statements. I've got this weird idea of cause and effect.

 

Yeah I'm not telling you to check for resonance I'm telling you that you do all of these things, that these things are not good and are unhealthy, and you need to check your posts for them and reword them and challenge your thought processes for the sake of your own mental health.

 

Sure.


Other people causing you to feel sad/angry/frustrated: True, and fine.

Other people causing the actions you take in response to those emotions: False, and an attempt to shift blame.



There is a lot of nuance that can be dug into in discussions about this, but lets start with the basics right now.

 

I've explained this before, it doesn't sink in :(

 

My expectations are at a solid zero, don't worry.

 

You're going to have to do better than that.

 

Haven't we gone through a "everyone is a snitch/seebs sockpuppet" phase once?

 

Yes.

 

You're assuming. What I'm saying is that I'd like someone to explain emotional responsibility.

It was my finger, and my husband would have had to pay for a new panel if the tech hadn't been nice enough to do a bit of dishonesty on the paperwork. I think he also honored my request to get the glass-break sensor put on the motion-sensor's circut or something, and just stopped arming the alarm because it was stupid and we couldn't get out of our contract.

However, there was no deliberateness in that whole night.

 

Completely unfounded, really.

No one here is a Seebs sub.

Spoiler: Unfortunately necessary disclaimers

Because I realize this might be misread: This is a joke account, this is not related to Seebs, please do not take this as fuel for some argument, this is a joke.

 

Being a part of a community takes work. Challenging thought patterns and processes takes work. Acknowledging wrongs take work. Introspection and a commitment to changing oneself takes work.

I believe Athol has demonstrated that she does not want to work, or only wants to do minimal work, to get what she wants. Until she accepts that things take work and that there are aspects of her actions, thought patterns, beliefs, and responses to stimuli that need to change, I do not know how useful repetition, multiple people making attempts, and the like will be. Until she is less committed to maintaining her status quo, I'm doubtful about how much good this is doing, and I wonder if maybe the overwhelming response from many people is making her dig in her heels more.

This is NOT an indictment of anyone that has responded, and I do not think they have done anything wrong. Rather, I admire anyone who has made an attempt to help or explain or enforce their boundaries or preserve the truth, and I think that they have done important and necessary work. Necessary not in the sense that catering to Athol is necessary, but that not allowing this bullshit is necessary. I just wonder if there's some fundamental incompatibility. I don't know how to address it if there is.

 

I am trying. Both connotations. I'm putting forth effort. I'm also as dumb as a sack of hammers.

 

Were you here for the Turkey/Peacock thing? For some people sometimes, I read their tone as incredibly hostile. On the converse, people don't seem to realize that their reading my tone as not intended.

 

Well yeah. It's snide and I forgot to use the word joke. Not that anyone would have realized that it was facetious and it should have gotten the sarcasm tag even though it's not sarcasm.

Hey, were you being serious about my alarm-story being somehow about blaming you?

And when was the actual last time I directly said "you're causing me to drink" or something like that? (because supergluing my fingers together in a way where I can't mindlessly open a bottle is an option.)

 

Fine, what does it mean?