Reporting the mods

If it's snide, then it's a mean-spirited joke anyways, which is a great look for you considering how things have been going down. And you don't use the sarcasm tag consistently anyways, it doesn't matter.

I am engaging as fully with your words as you make it possible. You don't. Communicate. Complete. Ideas.

Oh wow, let's CITE SOME SOURCES!!!!

The latest one where that claim was made directly is #12, dated november 2nd, two weeks ago, and incidentally, is the one where you took back your statement that your drinking wasn't my fault. Not where you took back your apology, because there never was an apology. But here we go!

Spoiler: self-hostage, alcohol

God is it satisfying to fact-check these things I'm claiming. Sure is nice having a big central source to search.

Lmao, no, I'm not doing your homework for you. You assign labor-intensive homework all over the place, rarely act thankful, and rarely take in anything of the message. Last time you assigned me homework, you got snippy when I hadn't finished it 20 minutes from the initial request demand, then got upset at me for following through. I'm already wasting more energy on you than I should, I've got no motivation to throw more energy into the black hole.

 

Lil issue there.

I don't actually care whether or not you stop. You don't have any emotional leverage over me, and you aren't going to get it, so it doesn't affect me and I genuinely do not give a shit if that's how you want to waste your time. But it is still highly inappropriate behavior, and I will happily rag on it whenever it comes up, or, important point here, as long as you keep refusing to actually apologize for it.

Which you haven't done. I've got the citations. The things you think are apologies? Don't actually apologize. Saying 'I was wrong' isn't an apology. You have not apologized. You have shown no indication you have any idea what was wrong with your behavior. You do keep trying to sweep that issue out of sight while dodging the apology issue though, so I think I'll go right ahead and keep referring back to this even after an apology happens.

That goes for the self-harm videos too. Which is a bit of a special case, because that is fucked-up enough (and your take on why it's not appropriate is even more so) that I absolutely reserve the right to bring it up in the future, whether or not you apologize. You have no idea what was so wrong with it. With threats of sending a video of yourself cutting. That's fucked up, yo.

 

You know I do have a life outside of catering to you, yes? This isn't much better than demanding I turn in homework twenty minutes after you assigned it.

Anyways, just read the fucking post. I phrased it carefully, ON PURPOSE, because you always derail things with complaints about how people are assuming things about your words.

There's my takeaway from your story. You're looking for who's to blame. You frame a clear culprit, because you're sure as hell trying to push away responsibility from yourself.

From that first point, we get to EXACTLY the shit you've been trying to pull with me. I don't think your post was directly about me, and I never said it was. I think you're trying to work out logic that will let you weasel things around so that you can argue that aaaaaaaaaactually it was my fault that you were self-harming in the first place. That is PRECISELY the kind of thing you've spent the last two weeks doing. Not having it. You have responsibility for your own actions.

 

So an apology would be the result of a social experiment and not a product of genuine remorse? Good to know!

And calling my feelings a grudge is... stretching the limits of that word. I'd have to feel personally offended/hurt for that to really apply right. Let's say this is... I'm completely unwilling to enable your bad behavior, including the way you try to wave it off as old news. I'm unwilling to enable your efforts to wriggle out of the consequences of your own actions.

Hahahahaaaaa WOW

Okay, let's lay this out plain.

I am 100% uninterested in an apology for someone else's sake. You chose to direct that abusive behavior at me. You get to own up to that as what it IS, not saying 'well i guess i'll apologize because someone else was upset by it.' Do you understand how weak that is? This reads like you're saying that Kathy is in pain over what you did, so you GUESS you'll say sorry. No. Own your actions for what they are without leaning on someone else's well-being as an excuse.

Reference that quote that started this post. And reference your appalling explanation for why self-harm video threats are abusive.

Spoiler: self-harm, self-hostage

You're still blaming me for this shit, and saying that I'm the kind of person who would laugh at the idea of seeing your self-harm videos.

You need to apologize for that too, in case there was any question about that.

I will not believe any apology that doesn't have an actual explanation, from you, for why these behaviors are abusive. Blaming me for your self-harm, implying suicide, threatening to send me videos of the self-harm, mocking the idea that anyone would still be bringing up the fact that you threatened to send self-harm videos four days earlier, saying this shit about what kind of person I ~probably~ am.

Until you can explain what is wrong with these behaviors, I'm not going to believe an apology. You don't know what you did wrong, and apologizing just because someone wants an apology means nothing. You can't hurt me, no matter how many knots you tie yourself into trying to do it. I'm not looking for something to soothe my ~~pain~~. I only want an apology that comes with an explanation for what's fucked up with your behaviors, because that will give me some assurance you won't try to hurt other people in the same way in the future. Right now? I have zero confidence that you won't pull this shit again the moment you get angry.

 

Yeah, if you're gonna try to manipulate people, maybe start out on the bunny hill, not the forum where the black diamonds form a sort of decorative motif.

 

a hell of a lot of us have been through this song and dance before, but danced with partners who were better practiced and much more clever about it than you. stop it.

meaningful and sincere apologies don't happen because they made your designated Nice Person upset. they happen because you want to be better than this.

given everything that you've said and done here? i really don't think you do.

even if the apology comes, even if its an amazing apology, ultimately i don't think it will matter, because you will very likely do this shit again the next time you get upset. you haven't learned. you don't budge. its taken multiple 30+ page threads across this fucking forum for you to concede any wrongdoing.

you derail and shift blame and shift the impetus of your actions onto someone else, every fucking time. and even when you do admit fault, you do it conditionally, you do it in ways that still blame your victim(s).

i want to believe you can change and i want to believe any of us can help, but we can't make this easy enough for you. nothing about being a better person is easy. you need to put the work in. you need to try. you need to stop this bullshit where you try to manipulate kathy into behaving the way you want her to, you need to stop being overtly and uncomfortably sexual towards unconsenting parties, you need to stop blaming other people when you hurt them, you need to stop blaming other people for your actions that were specifically meant to hurt or manipulate them.

your actions and the implications of them will be much easier to confront and apologize for when you stop acting in horrific ways when you get upset.

get help. for fucks sake.