Reporting the mods

I think what happens is that when something gets wiggled before going live, I don't get a notification. If something makes it through the mod-queue and then they change their mind, that's the only time I get the notice.

 

Man that seems weird.

 

Yeah, it's a thing. I've actually warned the mods about that before, but I only get the notifications when a post is wiggled after going live.

 

I apologize that my attempt at calling you a hippocrate ended up just as "hippo" I assure you I am not the degree of fatphobic where that would typically happen.

I'm also sorry for the bad metaphor, but you are constructing a non-reality by looking for patterns where there are none. As for being insulted by being compared to a paranoid schizophrenic, is there something wrong with schizophrenics?

 

As a quick note - this is good! This is very good, those apologies are mostly the sort of thing we've been after this whole time. Thank you for putting in the effort I've asked for in my thread!

 

Weird, I'm seeing excuses and apologizing for something that wasn't expected.

 

There are some excuses yes, and the last line seems set up like a gotcha, but apologizing for something that wasn't intended but was still wrong is good and a vast step forward.

 

Kathy, I'm sorry, but it's...really not. She's just trying to gotcha! Spock again. Pretty blatantly.

All those abusive, horrifying comments that Greallan has attacked Spock with? Naahhhh, just Spock constructing a non-reality! Making stuff up! No one should trust what Spock says. Only Greallan knows what really happened.

And if Spock is insulted when Greallan tells her that, it's clearly Spock being ableist and not Greallan gaslighting the fuck out of this thread.

 

I honestly think some of that is a wording issue. The gotcha is there in the latter half but from what I can grok the intended message seems to be "I didn't intend that implication, I'm sorry" for the first bit. The second bit was not so great, yeah and stumbled a lot.

I know it might seem like being grateful for peanuts but her communication pattern has switched very suddenly and she's much clearer and I want to ask for clarification on some things before assuming the bad stuff as a result. Recognizing that it's much better than previous attempts struck me as important given she has stated she feels like no progress is actually noticed and there's no point if it's not noticed before.

 

There's something that I half-remember from last weekend, something like "limit break" and looking it up gave instructions on how to stop temper-tantrums. Did I try to explain how with time-out and isolation, it gets extended if the child is still fussy? We didn't have the distinction between tantrums and meltdowns back then, but I think a lot of what you see when I get over-frustrated is partway into the meltdown side. I think just letting messages go unread when I get overwhelmed is about the best that can be done unless there's a better way to keep things throttled.

Yeah, the metaphor thing doesn't work too well, but maybe this will help clarify. Little Jonny was deciding to be naughty when he didn't want to finger-paint, and he started tantruming when I forced his hand into the paint and rubbed it on the paper. He tantrumed even harder when I put him in isolation.

 

There is truth in some of the stuff Spock was saying, but there's also a lot of mistakes. The mistake-load is getting pretty large just with the things that are easy to disprove. I'm not the only one who has problems with wiggled stuff not being given adequate reason, and someone did admit to judging people on post-mod harsher. The mistakes where anyone is reading the wrong intentions are problematic. I have said some pretty horrifying things while not being able to think straight, but that's my fault for not just ignoring things sooner and letting myself be pushed.

And there is a blatant gotcha, but there's probably a better way to figure out why it's so insulting?

Pretty much. If I make a step in the right direction, it's better to say that I'm getting warmer instead of being frustrated that it's not perfect and not!yelling at me until I decide that I took a step in the wrong direction.

 

It doesn't help, no. It muddies things because as a result I'm unsure whether you want isolation or find it a thing which makes your anger worse.

Remember, your hand is not being forced. You have the capability as an adult human to close the tab if you notice you are getting frustrated, or to say you are getting frustrated and angry and would like to not be pinged in the thread. I gave you exact words that you can just copy and paste down here if that happens, even. Nobody is making you stay here. Nobody forced you to say those things about Spock, or threaten her. You did those things yourself, and you need to take ownership for your actions. Feelings can be irrational but you still feel them.

You have demonstrated ability to control yourself when angry, you just appear to rank inflicting harm as higher priority to not doing that.

So long as you keep doing that, you're going to keep having problems. You need to demonstrate in your own words that you understand that your actions of lashing out in response to your distorted feelings in this venue of communication were harmful, inappropriate and abusive. And then you need to apologize for trying to cause harm.

You have to acknowledge that you are a person and as a person, you have the ability to make choices for yourself. Be proactive here, not reactionary.

 

When the thread got locked for me to be in time-out, that was a good thing. When I asked for more time, people started just flooding the thread an probably making derogatory statements about how I'm just manipulating to keep from having to confront the problem when really I wanted the time to process what I had. Now that the one really frustrating TCHGB is dead, there's a little less frustration about the wiggler. From what I can tell, a lot of the stuff that gets lost now is really not that important. Though there's still enough that I have to retrieve to get on my nerves. *glares daggers*

And I guess I could just close the tab while people keep spreading untruths about me. I do have the power to just ignore it. Keep control of myself no matter what anyone else says or does.

 

Athol if you do not accurately convey your actual thoughts and beliefs when you talk, and people respond to the ones you have written and hit submit on a post for, we're responding to the truth as you show it to us. You're getting better at accurately conveying what you mean, but there's still problems.

It's not like the situation with Spock where you keep misrepresenting what she wants despite her repeatedly telling you in very plain language.