Reporting the mods

Okay. You seriously don't understand how that's manipulative and abusive? Okay.

What I said:

What you said:

I point out how suddenly your attitude has changed, that now after I've gone through and told you that you are wrong, and that you are the person who has been behaving abusively, you are switching how you present them in your posts. Because the lies you were telling about their behavior don't stand up to there being someone who has gone through and examined all of it. If there was any chance that my read on this was wrong, you gutted it with your response.

Which, let's break down how this is manipulative and abusive, bit by bit.

1. I've told you before that this is not a thing. I've told you before not to say this stuff to me. I have gone out of my way at every opportunity to reaffirm your humanity. I have told you that this thing you have done here distresses me and reminds me of my abusive mother. You keep doing it anyway.
Every time I say something you don't like, you come out with this stuff.

2. You make me set aside my feelings to reassure you that you're human and you deserve respect. I have done nothing but advocate for you. I have told other people when I feel like they are out of line in how they are treating you.

3. The fact that you keep using this strategy on me after I've repeatedly asked you not too is an attempt to control me into continuing to say things that you want to hear, rather than things you need to hear. And it is manipulative, and abusive. It takes the emphasis away from your real, horrifying actions and puts it onto Making Athol Feel Better, even if the emotion you should be feeling is regret.

1. I have been listening to you this whole time. Almost everyone posting here has tried to help you communicate more effectively. I've listened to you in DM's, I've listened to you even after you've said horrible things about people I care about.

2. This again makes me set aside my feelings about your actions to reassure you that you deserve to be listened to.

3. See line 3 of previous list.

1. This one in particular is massively insulting to pretty much everyone here. You're presenting it as if we cannot possibly disagree with you about factual events unless we don't believe your lived experience of them is valid which goes against everything I and others have been saying, consistently.

2 & 3. SAME AS ABOVE.

I'm not doing this anymore. This is the last breakdown of this sort you're going to get from me so save this to your computer and pull it up with the list of cognitive distortions and the worksheet the next time you get told you're being manipulative because you aren't paying me to do this perpetually, it's not my job to gently coax you into getting better. That's what therapy is for. Look up sliding scale therapy. Get some help.

 

They made me slightly irritated, actually.

Which I thought that maybe they didn't understand my response so I decided to try again.

Here they're going on about how unneccesary this part of the conversation is. I'm thinking it's kinda disrespectful to... I said that I had a problem, gave a request on doing something that is helpful, and then have the other person complain how it's unnecessary? If a HoH person says "make sure I'm looking at you before talking" do you complain that it's unnecessary?

Also, I want this accomodation. Am I a nobody?

And they finally make it clear what she's talking about just as I figure out that there are lots of "it" that they could be talking about. I'm pretty sure that they know I don't have a functioning theory of mind.

And they're counting down how many posts its taking to get around the problem while still complaining about how it's unnecessary.

 

I’ll take What Is Weaponizing Theraputic Tools for $200, Alex.

I know she gave that exercise. I read it. However, what you’re using it for here? “What keeps happening to me”? Try “this is what I keep hearing”, because that is absolutely not what is happening. while it may seem like a little thing, it’s these “little things” like “what keeps happening to me” vs “what I hear” the reinforces that Spock is still at fault.

And I’m having none of it.

*Bolded for emphasis

 

Well yes, I should have linked to the wiggler so someone could yell "Don't link to stuff in the wiggler, no one can see it"

I feel like it's a never-ending line of "don't this, don't that" wrong wrong wrong no no no stupid. What you do is "don't do that" we told you a million times.

 

Oh, so when you were asking what "it" meant, you wanted me to screencapture a dictionary. /s I was asking you to clarify why YOU were telling me about paraphrasing. /toneless Does me using google work inside of your head? /query without sass.

https://goo.gl/images/edMRor to clarify, https://goo.gl/images/YYDKc8, further clarification and thanks to @IvyLB for pointing out that I meant Anderson https://goo.gl/images/M4wkpu, https://goo.gl/images/EEjP5n, https://goo.gl/images/HKULMx What do these have in common?

So at one point you did drop the like in favor that you are these things.

And you said "duhhhhh" when I hadn't said duh. You were putting words there that weren't. Not literally, not even in this weird secret language where things that aren't literally there are still there.

 

Starting at the top of page 14 after I mop, eat breakfast, get some other stuff done. Go ahead and mock me for putting that above this. It's already so overwhelming that I'll probably skip stuff to catch up.

 

Wow I wonder what a world would look like if multiple people hadn’t already tried to give examples of what to do instead of being abusive. It’s a complete and totally mystery.

 

Stop trying to fucking gaslight spock. The conclusions she drew, using the words you wrote, were reasonable and not at all a stretch, unlike pretty much every conclusion you have drawn during this entire fucking discussion.

 

Abusive. Manipulative. Stop doing this.

 

because you're going to act like you don't understand why people are yelling at you

this? fine. thank you for letting us know.

this? not fine. fuck you, actually. no one has said this. in fact, you have been told the opposite multiple times, by multiple people. no one is mocking you for the first part - you're being mocked for THIS PART RIGHT HERE. which is shitty and abusive, because it reads as trying to make us drop our arguments and soothe you.

cool. i don't fucking care. i'll note that i find this statement offensive in the context of other things you've said, but wouldn't declare it inherently abusive.

 

ALSO

the-point-you.jpeg

in clearer, non-memey words: i'm using "blows up" to indicate that i think: 1. you're actions are irrational, and; 2. you're actions are disproportional to what happened.

ADDITIONALLY what??? untrue things??? are people saying???

because from where i'm sitting (having read, again, pretty much EVERY SINGLE THING you've posted), it's not people saying untrue things, it's people accurately describing your behavior that sets you off.

wow, okay. how disingenuous can you get. this is not an accurate description of what's been happening. at all.

also? issues i'm thinking of that you brought up? you don't get to be "a fencesitter." either, you think people are people, or you don't and i have problem with you.

yeah fuck you. i had no idea what you were doing here, and further clarification doesn't make me think positively of it.

 

like, also, athol, i don't understand how, of all people, you picked spock to have your fight with

like

spock is wordy and tends to go above and beyond wrt communication issues and will quite patiently explain... just about anything, ime, if you ask politely enough.

if i was just showing up to this thread without any additional context, i'd actually be pretty surprised by how spock is treating you, because that's not really her mo.

but context matters! you've been. so shitty. so, so incredibly shitty and abusive. and that's just from what i can see.

 

You know, I’ve been struggling to put a name to what I’ve been feeling since the whole “let’s dehumanize literally everyone in planet Earth by saying pronouns, a fundamental part of every identity (either having them or not), worth lesss than household chores” debacle— she doesn’t seem to see people as people, and I have A Problem with her for it.

 

i know it's like an edgy leftist thing to be like "you don't GET to be a fencesitter" about social issues but like

just

she has this whole issue of routinely dehumanizing people and actively feeding into prejudices and abuses against marginalized people, and any attempt to tell her she's doing anything wrong results in "guess i'm subhuman" which really just shows that she has no idea how personhood works

starting from it's nonrevokable, to you can but you shouldn't treat people poorly, to it doesn't mean people have to agree with anything you say always and forever, just. ugh

 

It’s not edgy. It’s fact. In this case, there is no fence sitting allowed.

Things are either true, or they aren’t. People are either people, or they aren’t. Basic laws of reality.

+1 to all of that, though.