Reporting the mods

It's a start, at least.

 

tbh any peanut gallery thread would by definition kind of be making fun of her and would give her more ammunition imo. While a fair idea to keep down on clutter, I'd suggest against giving a narcissist anything close to ammunition ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also as an aside, I do want to point out that even if she gets sober she might not ever 'get back' the mental acumen she has lost due to alcohol. I'm only saying this because I've seen so many people assure that 'This will all make sense when you're sober" when that could very well not be the case. This is, again, not me saying 'IT'S POINTLESS' it's just me pointing it out because everyone was surprised when this happened to my mom. We were also surprised when she got worse temporarily after she was clean for about two months. Basically: Once you kill those brain cells they don't come back. But quitting is worth the brain / emotional function you do get back.

 

Ugh posting from mobile and phone dying so if I suddenly disappear, I'll be back.

I don't want to fuck around with the quoting on mobile to emphasize my points, but:
1. Athol. Kathy has confirmed the mods' stance. You can drop the argument that you're being unfairly silenced. ITS NOT HAPPENING
2. creepy sex comments don't stop being inappropriate just because you didn't understand, and doubling down once you know is. Awful
3. You should probably just stay out of people's vent threads. What the fuck. I don't know what that point is responding to and I
DON'T WANT TO

 

Really, I don't think talking to Athol about anything other than getting help and the steps to do so, is worth it. 103 pages in this thread alone and none of it has gone anywhere good.

Tbh, I suspect on that on some level she's using these endless internet arguments as a way to avoid addressing her problems irl

 

(Hey so I realize we're one letter off and this is an easy mistake to make, but I and @boop are different people and since this thread has been at least tangientally about communication difficulties I figured I'd try to head this one off)

 

Sorry about that! Fixed it, and I'll make a mental note to keep better track of that.

 

@Jove Np, it really is an easy mistake to make.

@Athol Magarac look, legitimate question: what exactly are you hoping to accomplish here - in this thread and the forum in general? And have you actually gotten anything positive out of here at all? You've burned a lot of bridges here and people aren't going to let things go. I can't speak for anyone but myself, obviously, but you act a lot like people in my past who used to try and sweep absolutely everything under the rug so they never did anything wrong, ever, and now that I don't have to let that behavior go for survival purposes, I'm not likely to ever give someone much of a break when they behave like that*. And from what others have said I'm fairly certain that I'm not the only one who feels that way. So if you're hoping for a magic button that makes this all okay and a blank slate, it's just... not gonna happen. So I'm confused about what you think sticking around here is actually going to accomplish. Even were the version of events that you perceive to be happening actually happening, you'd just be lingering in a toxic place for you.

*I have known one person with similar symptoms to yours who started on the road to recovery and I did let her back into my life but only after years and several solid signs of real, concrete change. So it's not hopeless. It's just a lot of fucking work, and I don't think most people would find it worth it for internet strangers.

 

I don't consider this nearly direct enough acknowledgement honestly. It's very vague.
What I'd be looking for is something along the lines of: "I recognize that I have behaved abusively toward the moderators. I don't understand how, but I understand that I have done it." for clear communication.

 

That seems about right - both in that it's a mostly valid paraphrase and in that the things the paraphrase said are in my judgement mostly correct. (My main quibble is that I find the word "naughty" much too mild.) I get the impression that you meant to demonstrate how seebs was being unreasonably hostile. If so, you didn't succeed.

As to your example about different discussion groups for different needs - the easiest way to apply that here would be to have you be in a separate group from people who need to not be exposed to abusive behavior; that is, from kintsugi. But that has practical problems: this is the only forum I've ever heard of with a rule against banning people, and any forum that did ban people would have banned you several times over for the things you've said and tried to say here. So I'm not sure where else you could go.

(Edited to fix an incorrect autocorrect)

 

For everyone wondering why she’s still here when it certainly doesn’t appear to be a pleasant experience... I don’t believe she has much of a community outside of the internet, and when you don’t have a community, any community at all can seem better than nothing.

 

and since I noticed a quibble over the seriousness of "naughty" I guess I need one worse than the trigger that means "my teacher thought that I was such a terrible, ill-mannered child that during the few times I was satisfactory enough to be let out at recess, the other children wouldn't play with me for fear of catching it."

 

Banning didn't work for the PPC; it was circumvented. This is well documented. I'm not shooting down the idea, @seebs, but what would make this case any different?

I want this to end as much as anyone, but I feel like banning wouldn't be a whole lot better than a symbolic gesture at this point...not literally so, but this 107+ page thread and numerous other gigantic threads with people trying every conceivable way to explain the problem has done nothing to garner resolution. We're aware she's willing to circumvent banning just to keep slamming her face into a wall.

Is there actually anything to be done other than continuing to try and chip away at the brick wall and/or ignoring her until she goes away?

 

hey, athol, why the FUCK did you use "naughty" in your paraphrase?

i'm really really fucking tired of the borderline (and sometimes not) sexual words you're using. if the connotation wasn't meant, also, naughty is still wildly inappropriate

 

Well, you also have a rule against rules, which is my favorite kind of rule.