So, I want to get back into shape, because I can tell I'm pretty badly out of shape and it doesn't feel good. Problem the first: exercise is fucking boring and I can't make myself stick to a routine. Problem the second: I can't go to a gym, because no money and because I'm trans and not confident in my ability to pass and because I'd freak out about people watching me. Problem the third: even going outside is uncomfortable because there could be people seeing me and what if they try to talk to me oh fuck. any suggestions at all?
yeah, definitely mix it up! doing something slightly different every day of the week helps a ton; i'd say on sunday, assign a different activity for each day of the week that you know you'll be able to exercise. also, listening to something on headphones while you work out helps a TON, both with keeping it interesting and also avoiding Uncomfortable Outdoors/Public Gym stuff
seconding @rats : i do way better when i have an audiobook to listen to/tv show to watch. then i'm not focusing on how long until i'm done, but what's going on in the book. preferably something i'm familiar with, though, since i might get distracted. suggestion #2 would be to try different things. i find running boring af, but i love weightlifting and swimming. see what you enjoy.
I used to do body weight exercises while watching videos. Good for timing things! Hold a plank for like thirty seconds while watching a youtube video on your phone, flip over and do a bridge, maybe with a bit of side to side motion if you're feeling adventurous, rest for a bit, move to whatever that thing is where you prop yourself sitting against a wall thighs parallel to the ground, watch for thirty seconds to pass while doing as many push ups as you can manage, etc, etc. Repeat as necessary. Also, as much break time as you need in between, uh, 'sets'. 'S good for if you don't wanna leave the house. Also, hiking is pretty good, if you live in a hilly sort of area. You don't have to be moving fast if there's a lot of verticality to contend with, and there's always stuff to look at. I like half-climbing on things, and it's a lot less monotonous than running, I think.
Seconding hiking if you live in an area where that's an option. It's a lot less monotonous than indoor workouts, and you might see some animals or find a cool rock or something! (Plus, in my experience, people mostly don't talk to solitary hikers beyond maybe an exchange of "hey"s when they pass on the trail.) Bring a backpack with water and snacks.
If you want to stay indoors and exercise there are quite a lot of youtube videos with exercises :) Also, there are loads of phone apps that can help you with exercise :)
A lot of these ideas kind of require a prior level of fitness or equipment or the ability to get to another place to even start, but I know that's not a great idea if you're starting from a low enough rung. I've had to start from almost bottom a few times, so if you're not up to the other ideas, maybe these will help. Dancing is fun, doesn't require instruction or a prior level of fitness or any equipment aside from something to play music on, and you can do it inside with the blinds closed on days when you just can't stand the idea of people looking at you. You can flail around, or move your body in shapes, or just a body part. If you're not sure where to start (I know sometimes my body feels like alien territory and trying to move it is very "what do?"), bellydance instruction videos on youtube might give you a few ideas - or any other dance style you are interested in. (But maybe don't mosh if you're not on the bottom floor of a building. :D) On days you can go outside (it's good to get some daylight as often as possible), walking is perfectly decent exercise if you don't have a disability preventing it. You don't need to go anywhere special like for hiking, or have special shoes like for running, just ones comfortable enough for you and suited to the weather. You can start as small as you need to - like walk five minutes, turn around, walk back - and build up over time. If I'm not walking with someone, I pop in headphones and practice my thousand-yard stare. Even though I never have my music up very loud, headphones + thousand yard stare combination makes it obvious it's pointless to talk to me. Body weight exercises can also be really good. Squats, lunges, push-ups (if you are noodlearms like I am, you can start by doing them standing and pushing off from a wall) and the like take no equipment, just a bit of floor space.
There's a channel I think is called yogilates on youtube or something? Like yoga+pilates. I have little interest in either of those things, but one time a friend sent me one of their videos and it was 10 minutes of surprisingly great exercise, in chunks of different and new movements. I also enjoy pacing around the room while talking to myself or listening to audiobooks.
Seconding the dance video thing. It's good exercise, easy to mix up styles, and - if you end up going to a party where there will be dancing for whatever reason - you now have a few 'moves,' should someone drag you out onto the floor. Plus, at least for me, it's easy to not pay attention to how long you've been working out. I've found that the headphones + thousand yard stare thing doesn't always discourage particularly friendly suburban neighbors, but once I get a block out people stop caring because they don't know me. It plays out well in urban areas. I'm not sure about rural areas, but if you're somewhere particularly rural you can probably avoid people, anyways, so that's a moot point.
If you have an iphone or android try "Zombies, Run!" it's a free fitness app that's more of an audiobook! Good story and characters that you get emotionally invested in. You can even build your own town with the 'supplies' you pick up on runs (or walks any speed works.) You can enable chases where you have to speed up a percentage or be caught by zombies. I love it! It's hard to explain so here's it's page > https://zombiesrungame.com/
I'm just gonna leave this here: http://www.stepmania.com/ And this, for songs: http://stepmaniaonline.net/index.php?page=downloads Stepmania is a free DDR clone (which, upon downloading it again for the first time since I nuked this machine and upgraded Windows, appears to have added support for Pump It Up, Para Para Paradise, and some other rhythm game modes? neat). Now if you really want to play it for really real you have to get a USB dance pad... but if you just want to move all you really need to do is load up Jukebox mode, which will make the computer play for you. Meanwhile, you can step along with arrows drawn on paper, or maybe painter's tape on the floor, or just use imaginary arrows. (Warning: make sure to download songs/packs marked "Pad;" ones marked "Keyboard" are intended to be played with the arrow keys on your keyboard and are not meant to be attempted by human beings with human feet so don't get those unless you want to cry. Trust me on this one.)
