mostly roving, partly stars

*slides dramatically back into the forum with jazz hands*

Hey everyone! I'm doing A Lot Better, generally, and have been seriously missing having some online social interaction, so I'm giving this a try again, and I'm super excited about this bitty blog-thread option now. I might use my vent thread for some of the more personal/intense stresses going on, but really I just like Happily Existing at people until they decide they like talking to me sooooooo... yeah.

Some Things That Have Changed Over the Last Year:

• we moved cities! we're in our state's capital now, and closer to some of our better friends (yay!) and our families (surprisingly mostly yay). most importantly, we're not still in the slowly rotting corpse of a town we'd been stuck in since college.
• my sister got a part-time job as a package handler, which works really really well for them, and has significantly reduced our economic pressure even with cost of living being a little bit higher here.
• our major relationships have changed - I dumped my moirail (finally) and maintain a mostly cordial relationship with him (I'm actually decent friends with his wife right now of all things), my wife got a very sweet new boyfriend, I had a Nice(tm) friendship upgrade to Best Friends over the course of the move and some bonding over fiber&other life goals.
• I took a good long break from doing basically any form of RP, which was really good for my creative and social soul TBH.
• Imperceptible at the time, but noticeable when I go to reread some of my old stuff on here, I am really doing TONS better at processing my trauma, particularly the abusive roommate shit that was dominating my mindscape during most of my previous time here.

Some Things That Haven't Changed:

• I still do lots of fiber crafts. The fiber crafts have... increased. I'm going to drown in fiber, don't send help bc I want it to end this way.
• Relatedly, I still co-own a business with my sister that's sustained modest growth: we sell knitwear & pattern designs, and are working on developing a line of hand-dyed yarn to be released sometime this year. Links have been updated in my signature.
• I still have two cats (me & Kai's fluffbutt Maine Coon mix Fiyero, my sis asynch's speedy boy Isaac) that I am p much always willing to share pictures of
• I'm still all chock full of the same chronic physical&mental health issues, w/no new diagnoses or anything: I'm handling the PTSD better, which makes managing the other stuff easier, but depression still catches me off guard sometimes, my hand injuries still factor into how I do everything, I'm still autistic as fuck, and the other assorted health stuff you may have heard me talking about before is (unfortunately) still going on.

So in conclusion... hi?

 

AAAAAAH IT HAS BEEN FAR TOO LONG HELLO

 

oh hey! you're back!

it's good to hear that you're fine.

 

It's good to be here! And I am in fact doing pretty fine :)

Today's goals:

• fold all the clothes we sorted yesterday
• Actually remember to do my #spin15daily
• keep an ear out for my package bc tracking says it's out for delivery right now!!!
• groceries have to happen even if all I do is make the list & gently remind Kai that time exists & she needs to go before her evening plans
• get toasty & do something fun during my alone time

I, like, could be a responsible adult & do marketing work/knit commissions, but I seem to be taking "my wife's taking vacation time" as "I'm taking vacation time" and that's ... Probably ok?

 

I apparently exude a cuddle aura bc the cats have both made themselves into donuts up by my legs again

 

The package I'm supposed to get today says it's been delivered, but it's not at our door... which means it's at our mailbox, across the complex, in the bitter cold wind & dark :( I'm not going out for that, since it's raw fiber for spinning & I seriously need to finish a spinning project before I start a new one. My sis will probably bring it up when they check the mail on their way in from work.

My bulk order of bare yarn for Serious Colorway Development is on it's way, probably Monday, and I am SUPER EXCITED and trying to decide which colorways I want to test first, and how many skeins to test of each colorway. (probably two skeins, to make sure I can semi-consistently repeat a dye bath? or should I give myself larger sample sizes? or should I focus on making first experiments and do each skein differently? I have SO MANY colorways planned for this yarn line!)

 

The fiber is heeeeeere!

I'm especially ridiculously excited about the Manx Loaghtan, bc 1) sheep! 2) rare breed!! super rare conservation breed! 3) my many feelings about the Isle of Man, and adjacently 3) this is the closest I've gotten so far to an Irish polytheist fiber experience (because traditional Irish sheep breeds don't.... really exist anymore) and I'm EXCITED!

...but I have three spindles with active projects right now, and I need to Actually Finish Something

 

So apparently the shipping logistics company my yarn supplier uses was actually super on top of things for once, because my undyed yarn arrived this afternoon! I know two of the colors I want to try (because Kai is going to knit a shawl with them) but I have four more to pick from the list of Irish-name colorways I'm trying to develop:

Spoiler: Colorways list

• Fionn: palest yellow, palest seagreen
  
  
• Liath: light grey with hints of brown, blue, green
  
  
• Buí: moderate yellow with light highlights, tones of brown, orange, and grey
  
  
• Flannbhuí: tonal orange
  
  
• Dearg: moderate-strong red with tones of crimson, black, and orange
  
  
• Rua: moderate red with notable tones of brown & orange
  
  
• Bándearg: “pale red”
  
  
• Corca: tonal purple
  
  
• Gorm: dark blue, with shadows of blackish greens & purples
  
  
• Glas: pale tones of blue, green, and grey, with at least one loop of (natural, unbleached) wool left undyed (or done low immersion for tonal?)
  
  
• Uaine: tonal kelly-green
  
  
• Donn: moderate brown with faint tones of crimson or green
  

 

For now, though, the fatigue is kicking in hard, and Nurse Fiyero has declared it nap time so I'm going to curl up under a blanket (& maybe read some of the dyeing book I have checked out if I can't actually sleep)

 

Wind advisory here - its a little nuts out there O.o when we went out for Grove meeting earlier it was "nearly blow you off your feet" level, and it sounds even louder now.

 

TIME TO COOK YARN

a bubbling cauldron of color is the best way to deal with depression fatigue & generalized anxiety right?

 

oh man its super windy here too. like. holy crap windy. no more rain like last night but its definitely "pray the street lights don't drop off those hanging cords, see which street signs fell off, and watch the branches scatter in the roads" weather. we were at the international market earlier and when i was waiting for roomie to bring car over the cart kept getting swept into the front of my legs from the force of the wind. xD

 

On our way home from Grove, we saw a stoplight that had come loose from its bottom connector and was blowing around in the wind by its top connector :/ I'm very happy to be living in a solid apartment building with great on-site maintenance right now, bc I'm sure my old place will have a gutter torn off or branches falling on it.

 

I really fucking hate spending the last several hours before I wake up having nightmares :(

 

Coffee helps, at least I'm not going to fall back asleep again. But this time it was adjacent-to-plausible nightmares, and so some part of my brain is just stuck waiting to hear "no, that was actually real." :/ :/

 

Ways to feel better that have worked:

• Food! Good food! Warm solid food!
• more work with colors
• talking out Plans w/sis (re: colors, re: taxes, re: business accounting, re: how cute their cat is)

Ways that haven't worked as well:

• being alone (which I will be for the next 6-7 hours :/)
• watching dye videos
• hanging out with my cat (he's in a Mood and thus more negative company than positive company unfortunately)

My plan so far based on that data:

• chat w/friends as they're available on various platforms
• keep working on colors! take notes!
• further develop the new Nerdy References colorway line we've got started
• knit? spin? if i can find ways to focus and be productive on those I know that usually helps, I'm just hyperfocused on dyeing rn

 

this is always a fun game!

 

I fucked up one of my yarn skeins real bad :( I'm letting it dry to see if it's salvageable, but 1) colors didn't do what I want 2) colors didn't SET and were running out tons in the rinse bath 3) skein got handled so much it started slightly felting :( :( :(

 

Hmm, I don’t know you that well admittedly so I might be off, buuuut...

• A good book on Irish polytheism
• All the yarn in really pretty colors
• A nice hot cup of coffee
• Fun knitting patterns

 

I would be summoned immediately, like'd swallowed the matching magnet. Excellent Kit comfort items.