Crow Puns And Other Bullshit

phew busy busy day. but good day!

dental folks say I don't appear to be at a huge risk of permanent numbness or a hole up to my sinuses according to the xrays i brought in, so whooo. She also agreed that it'd be best to put me under general anesthesia instead of conscious sedation bc they're Hella Impacted and i am Hella Anxious and the more anxious i get the more fucky my blood pressure is gonna swing. so i wait a month while they jibber jabber at my insurance people, then we set up a day, aaaand then we just gotta find which date in the future my roomie has to accompany me there and then escort my drug addled ass homeward. i'm anxious, but not nearly as anxious as before now that I have confirmation they'll be knocking me out. That'll just be "aw man, IV's suck ://" and like 15 seconds of "OW MOTHERFUCKER THAT BURNS >:U" from the drugs and then i'll wake up with my mouth all stuffed with gauze and never have to deal with them again 8U

decided to just stay out instead of going to home bc by the time i got back i'd barely have any time to chill before needing to roll out all over again. grabbed a pretzel w/ cheese and a soda. was SUPER TASTY, but holy shit that pretzel was greasy, i was not anticipating that. perfect salt hit tho and p cheap, i'll have to keep it in mind for the future. :9 hit up a raid in pokemon go and survived thanks to the other 7 people. but alas, failed to catch the stupid thing. >:l i am pissy about that. thing wiped two of my teams and i didn't even catch it. lame. drew a bit. went to the bank like I'd been needing to. went early to therapy and chilled outside on a bench reading that graphic novel i picked up recently. brought it to show the psych and recommend it. it warmed up enough that my hands didn't freeze as fast as they had before, and I was in the sun in my coat and it was all very peaceful.

therapy was enlightening. i mentioned the things i needed to mention, and also threw in my realization that my voice had gone even softer than usual, like it used to be. got feedback that was a recommendation to change the language i use about myself and how i interact with others, to let my voice be heard literally and metaphorically, and try to become more comfortable inhabiting the space i'm more than allowed to inhabit and spread out instead of remaining so strictly compacted and cautious and anxious and scared. nobody is running out to slap me for taking up space or using resources. nobody is going to hurt me for playing with toys or enjoying myself or making plans or getting excited. i'm not a burden on my friends if i need to ask them things or talk over things with them. they're not just putting up with me, they're not suffering through the experience of being my friend or speaking with me, and they're not put out because i want to interact with them. i'm not a bad person for needing help. i'm also not a bad person for wanting my fair share of things in life. it's tragic i didn't get to experience so much of life till now, and that i'm still learning what's out there, but i need to experience it and savor it and enjoy it as much as i can while i can.

it's like being let out of jail. there are things i still can't do, things i probably will never be able to do. but knowing about them and wanting to do them and not feeling ashamed of doing them when everyone else gets to experience things too is a good step to keep in mind.

got a comic and a coffee on the way home, and now the weather is Just Right for opening the windows and letting the sunshine and the fresh air in. Kricket's lounging in the sun and dozing in the air coming in the screen. i'm tired and my legs are a bit sore, but i'm content. i did good. today was good. i did my obligations, talked openly, made my psych laugh, walked, obtained a thing i wanted without feeling guilty, talked openly about a problem i've had my entire life, and now i'm relaxing at home with nice weather with an entire afternoon and evening ahead of me.

... good day i think.

 

in that positive thinking vein: i should definitely pursue and follow up the school thing because 1. i want to 2. it'll be fun and it's things i want to learn 3. a lot of people take on even bigger debt for way worse reasons than getting an education 4. i'm turning 30 and goddamnit i can do this if i want 5. move it or lose it, Gotta Do The Thing.

6. i deserve to give it a shot.

 

HOLY SHIT THIS COMIC GJFDKJGLDF how fucking On Point can u be for my situation, jesus.

 

i know this is gross but GOD blowing your nose and getting that one bubblegum booger out of your sinuses that's been plaguing you all goddamn day at long last is such a satisfying feeling.

 

i just slept for 14 hours.. holy shit. i crashed at like. 7:30 last night and decided "fuck it, i'll sleep" and then only woke up to pee twice. twice bc after the first time i felt really flushed and sick and shaky and nauseated so i chugged some water in case i was dehydrated. second time i still felt shaky and sick and awful. i also had to use my inhaler last night, and it thankfully helped a lot. finally woke up at 9 something... and i still feel a lil drugged but i feel a lot better. whoof.

 

had urge to leave house so i acted on it. wound up going by bookstore and leaving with a copy of Fun Home, which i love, and.. surprisingly a book i'd seen online and been interested in. "The art of the graphic memoir". lots of detail about how best to go about trying to do the thing. it's an intense read, from flipping through it, and it's made by someone from SAW so that's neat. i'm glad i picked it up. c:

 

apparently frustration and stress do in fact equal symptoms! information brought to me by fucking with my sound issue for 2.5 hours!!! :D
orz i wish i had booze rn i need a drink.

 

Mmmmm BIOS update on laptop wont go through for some reason :U keeps shutting the wifi off and not turning it back on and saying it Failed. wifi wont turn back on unless i restart laptop. ...... :shrugs and ignores it till the Next next update comes i guess:

 

2.5 minute wall sit success!!!!

 

:pulls this over here: :3c

 

Blooming!

 

:O! (ive been on tumblr so long i remember doing art requests to this lmfao that palette wound up being for a dryad dirk of mine in the past 8D )

 

Cherry soda

 

had a request fooor.... alpha dave in a dress, for that one if memory serves.

 

havin' a rough night. called off d&d for tomorrow. having that weird "if i lay still my legs tingle from the waist down" situation and while nothings numb i can physically feel the muscles aching and getting more fatigued and it creeps me tf out. the rest of me just feels the heavy fatigue... i hate. :C

 

so it seems the sleeps WERE coming for me but a cat prevented it lmfao. couldnt sleep till like 2am, woke up at 10 to pee, crashed again. Kricket rolled around on my hip but i couldn't make myself stay awake. then scout, the big fat cat, came thundering onto my head and pillow. and nyaaing for attention. and even when i pet her she kept moving around. it jostled me enough i woke up, and then i went downstairs and made coffee, got melon for breakfast, and even made myself load the dishwasher while i was down there.

still awake now but hooooly shit i can still feel the fatigue hanging on me, my everything aches.

 

im window shopping graphic novels on amazon and making a Massive Wishlist of things i wanna peek at lmfao. and i gotta say, comic about lady dating a bear has me intrigued.

 

actually, i should've done this earlier but ay @jacktrash lookie what i found :gestures upwards:

"Bear meets girl.

Nora has bad luck with men. When she meets an (actual) bear on a hike in the Los Angeles hills, he turns out to be the best romantic partner she’s ever had! He’s considerate, he’s sweet, he takes care of her. But he’s a bear, and winning over her friends and family is difficult. Not to mention he has to hibernate all winter. Can true love conquer all?"

 

roomie and i went to a mexican food place near where we get her catfood and litter bc her boy kitty Butu needs a special diet from the vet. we ordered a Lot of food, and were content, and making the most of her diners card experience. food came out. it's A Lot. we swapped some items backa nd forth to share. we both finished our plates entirely. like. clean plate club. not a scrap left. we are Dying. We're laughing at Winning At Food.

dude server comes over all amused as fuck like "man im gonna tell the cook two cute girls came in and hated his food, lookit this. did you guys come from prison??" and we were just. laughing so much. and now roomie and i are both dying from overeating and trying to guard ourselves from our respective fluffballs trying to lay on our stomachs so we can digest and stop feeling like we're going to explode like ticks. we were laughing the entire way home because every fucking bump or shift or bit of inertia was enough to go "gkjfglkfdjg" from.

ABSOLUTELY WORTH IT. THE DEATH IS WORTH IT. oh god im dying.

i also got kricket a Kong treat dispensor im gonna fuck with soon, and a new chase toy on a stick. its thick woven rattan and feathers this time, on a wooden dowel thick as hell. she won't be snapping/bending/chewing through this any time soon like the other cheap ones.