Boat Trolls planning thread! (full of spoilers, non-players enter at your own risk)

lord aspera did not punch hitler in the face. he was probably born in the late fifties and just likes telling big stories at high volume.

 

SIGH I AM A DOOFUS it turns out there's a subspecies of grey wolf called the arabian wolf and that's the most likely wolf-type for bel to have tangled with. they are small (about 40lb) and sandy, not huge and dark.

uhhhhhh so maybe when russia and the u.s were doing their proxy war bullshit in afghanastan maybe the russian werewolf soldiers introduced eurasian bloodlines into the area? that could be kind of cool. and by cool i mean 'secret werewolf civil wars'.

Adults from Russia measure 105–160 cm in length, 80–85 cm in shoulder height and weigh on average 32–50 kilograms (71–110 lb), with a maximum weight of 69–80 kilograms (152–176 lb).[3] One of the largest on record was killed after World War II in the Kobelyakski Area of the Poltavskij Region in the Ukrainian SSR, and weighed 86 kilograms (190 lb).
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a hundred and ninety pounds of woof.

 

maybe the russians just go around to their Very Secret Forces guys and say to the ones that seem most chill, like, 'hey you're selected to be a werewolf' and those guys are just like 'wheeee!' because ok to be honest i think if you said 'do you want to be a werewolf' to most young men (even american young men) the answer would be 'wheee!'.

the problem with american werewolf soldiers is sooner or later you'd get a roswellian camp of nutso hangers-on and conspiracy dingbats all clustering up in the desert somewhere yelling about it and throwing big Take Me Now parties. i mean, i think there probably already is one of those.

 

yes this is precisely what i visualized when i thought of 'what if bel kadros was a werewolf'.

 

erskin: *random suggestion*
bel: we're married now

 

it would be funny if they met galley at some point and bel was like 'oh no he's so hot but i'm wolf married to this asshole tho' and erskin being like uncomprehendingly poly so he has no idea what's bothering him

erskin: if you like him go for it
bel: are you... are you breaking up with me?
erskin: what
bel: what

 

definitely read that as 'queefing' at first

 

does bel mean 'twenty miles a day' is a relaxed pace compared to car travel? or that he thinks nothing of walking more than that, like thirty miles, each day while going cross-country?

also i'd have thought he'd have at least googled some wolf stats to see some of the basic things he's capable of now, and one of those is that grey wolves can easily cover 30-40 miles a day, and 100 when they're really booking it. though i think considering erskin's smaller size he'd be pretty worn out after doing a hundred miles in one go. i bet bel could do it just fine.

 

bel: i'm a romantic
what he means: i want to meet my one true love and get married
what erskin hears: i want to meet two or three hotties and have eight kids

 

if they hunted a white stag and got wishes, what would bel wish for? assuming it would be some small personal favor instead of like 'world peace' or 'the cure for cancer'.