This Is Fine: social science and memes

I've got a holler closet thread about grad school screaming, but wanted to have more of, like, a social space, and somewhere to shitpost/blog.

. . . also somewhere to blither a bunch while I'm in class and can't pay attention.

 

We're talking about philosophy and epistemology in my qualitative research class today, and this set of readings has super emphasized that I actually learned stuff in undergrad, so I'm bored and struggling to pay attention. I swear I used to have an attention span.

 

I have this whole stash of hot chocolate keurig cups - actually, gonna take pictures. I have not just a full storage drawer of keurig cups but also overflow in a drawer and a separate drawer stashed full of snacks. I also usually have chai. There is also coffee and hot chocolate available for purchase on the honor system in the office kitchen - the idea being that you leave 75 cents in the cup whenever you grab something. But I go through way too much for that to be reasonable, so I get my own for cheaper and don't have to carry change. Also I get flavors.

And a lot of people are sort of aware of this because I always have hot chocolate instead of coffee like most people, and are aware that it's at least in part because I get super angry if I have too much coffee too late in the day. But anyway I was getting hot chocolate* and there were weird coffee grounds in the keurig and I was trying to wipe it out and then the director of the center came in after me and was like 'oh was there a cocoa incident'. Because like 8 of the last 10 times I've seen him at all have been at the keurig. But no! I am not the one who made the machine weird and gross. This is clearly coffee grounds that I am wiping up. And I was slightly weird about it and I'm vaguely embarrassed.

Spoiler: huge

*I actually have A Thing about hot chocolate vs hot cocoa and them being different, but if the plastic container of chemicals that may have at some point encountered a cocoa bean wants to say it's hot chocolate I'm not going to argue. Distinctions are for food, not processed sugar.

 

I think he was just trying to make conversation, tbh. He makes me feel better about being socially awkward.

 

He is! He's very nice. Though he doesn't have any of us call him by his first name, unlike literally everyone else. He's just Dr. K.

 

I am looking forward to being Dr Chiomi eventually, but I don't think I'll end up, like, enforcing it? I think that student rapport is observably way better if people don't.

 

My friends just got second place nationally for a planning thing they went to LA for. And I'm super happy for them, and tbh couldn't be more proud of cool things people in my program are doing (er, sorry about the increased surveillance, [country], telling [future official] about the thing seemed like a good idea at the time).

But also I haven't even started on a paper I'm presenting in less than a month and my program is suddenly running super slow and I definitely can't graduate in June and August is dependent on getting this other stuff done, and I may or may not even get the GRFP. So I'm just feeling like I'm not living up to the standards set by my cohort and honestly by myself.

 

Whyyyyyyy is my code so slow. All I want is for the profiler to run one step so I can see exactly what's fucked up. But no. It's been running for an hour.

 

Reassuring (TM) things I say to my roommate: "Don't worry, when I steal you to run a research center for me, I'll only make you do three people's jobs."

(she is a gifted administrator and is currently doing five people's jobs)

 

I got a draft of my thesis in! 13675 words. I'm so tired, but so pleased.

 

MY ADVISOR APPROVED MY DRAFT!!! Now my proposal defense just needs to be scheduled and I'm one step closer to graduating!

 

This week already feels super long and it's only Tuesday. But I will probably finish Tristan's hat today, and only have another chapter and a half plus article plus bio to read by 6pm.

 

I am so profoundly tired. Like, the conference I was at last week was hella great for networking (I have a business card from a guy who used to be a program director at NSF and an invitation to go talk to the Center for Complexity Studies, holy shit to everything), but I want to sleep for approximately a week and never have to pretend to be a real person again. Overall, the conference was pretty chill, and anthropologists are neat, but it was super not my discipline and informal doesn't mean less pretending for me.

 

turns out i was tired because i picked up con crud

 

omg i'd forgotten about this. i'm so bored. i'm supposed to be rewriting my thesis but it's so boring to work on right now