A Wicked Convergence of Circumstances Mk 2.0

Today I had an esophageal motility test, which involved sticking a probe down my nose and into my esophagus. This sucked hugely, but the test didn't take too long, so that was a good thing. The purpose of the test was to see how the sphincters at the top and bottom of the esophagus were working and the muscles.

Having the probe down my throat kind of made me want to throw up, and was generally nasty. Having it come out was slightly worse than having it go in. :\

 

I may or may not have to do another barium swallow test. Bluh.

In other news, the only writing I got done last month was a Bleach/Sector General story. :D I currently have a horrifying bunny for a Bleach/Young Wizards story, but this time I really mean it about writing original fic this month and putting it on my writing journal and Patreon. There is also a bunny for a Rider at the Gate/Bleach crossover that mostly developed because of reasons. Yes all of my Bleach bunnies are also crossover bunnies. I can't help it.

I had a lot of doctor appointments last month, and will have a lot of doctor appointments in the future for the Various Problems. I need to get with my lawyer about my new doctors/meds and general information.

 

Today things got done, though not always things I planned/listed to have done! A friend sent me a care package, and another friend sent me a little money so I did not run out of food. (I screwed up on my foodstamp budget due to having shit money management skills.)

In the care package was two cans of tomato soup (why does she keep giving me tomato soup? I've mentioned I don't like tomato soup. On the other hand, it was okay to use in a recipe so.) two cans of corn and two chicken leg quarters. I had some mirepoix mix and cornmeal and a can of diced tomatoes (with chili peppers) and decided to make chicken fakeattore. (It came out pretty good though next time I'm going to make some adjustments to the recipe.) There was also meat loaf and five alarm red chili and green pork chilies sour cream and cheese.

The ingredients for the chicken fakeattore was something like:

1 can corn
1 can chicken broth (I thought I'd need two so I opened two, but only used one. whoops.)
1 teeny can of mushrooms (maybe 4 ounces?)
1 can diced tomatoes with green chilies
1 can tomato soup
2 small chicken leg quarters, cut apart into legs and thighs
cornmeal
salt
pepper
"Italian" seasoning
garlic powder
peanut oil (I would suppose you'd normally use olive oil but I didn't want to BUY olive oil so.)
A very small amount of frozen mirepoix mix.

Add salt and pepper to the chicken, dust chicken quarters in the cornmeal. Fry/brown them on both sides in the oil. Set them aside when browned. cook the veggies in the same pan. Add the soup and the chicken broth and the italian seasoning and garlic powder. Bring to a boil, add the chicken. Simmer everything for about an hour. There should probably be more chicken for this recipe, as there was a lot of veggies left over. Next time, no corn and more mushrooms.

The green chili is not thawed out. Still. Because the container was pretty big.

Tomorrow the foodstamps should come in. I have plans to get some odds and ends after my doctor appointment, and pick up some prescriptions that may or may not be available. Wednesday I'll do the actual shopping.

 

I am making a food! It is salmon cakes. One of the binders (in addition to breadcrumbs and egg) is potato. The side is french fries. I am having potato with potato. It is potatoception.

 

Today I go grocery shopping! I also hopefully pick up meds. Then I do other things that are vaguely Important. Yesterday I found out that yet another case manager has absconded. (I am beginning to get a complex here.)

 

Yesterday I also sent a message to my neurologist asking about my speech tics/stuttering/wording problems and about possible assessments for the Thing That May or May Not Be Autism Spectrum Disorder. I don't know when she'll reply. :\

 

Man, it’s been years since I’ve had the same case manager for more than about two appointments in a row, and even those have been the minority. I think it’s just that it’s an underfunded, extremely stressful, shitty, shitty job. Especially if the state is currently Improving the Efficiency of Its Mental Health System by driving away all its employees.

 

Grocery shopping is done! The physical therapy people called to arrange an evaluation, which is Friday, the interim case manager for the behavioral health clinic called for a home visit on Thursday. I still need to call a surgeon that was recommended by the Gastro doc. I have restarted my meal-tracking/food worksheet. (It was going to be a meal plan, but no, it didn't work that way so meal tracking.)

 

I am somewhat used to having casemanagers last at least a year or half a year. Recently though I think I've gone through three of four since I got switched between providers. :\ It's very annoying.

 

The case worker thing has just happened to another friend of mine too, again. I don’t think the stress of having a parade of unreliable strangers all up in your life is calculated into the Efficiency, nor the actual inefficiency of so many people having to familiarize themselves with new cases so frequently, but they probably should be.

That does sound very annoying and I’m sorry it’s happening to you.

 

I have bitched at length about the mental health situation on my vent thread. So instead, we will talk about the new exercises I'm supposed to be doing before I start physical therapy again. Most of them involve sitting down instead of lying down, which is a plus. (Lying down is not comfortable even if I do most of my sitting on the floor instead of a chair.)

I didn't get a call about arranging an appointment, because it needs to go through insurance. I'm supposed to call monday. I also need to call or send a message to the gastro guy about not having been gotten back to and all that.

Breakfast was left over dinner. Left over dinner was chicken stirfried with broccoli and cauliflower and mac and cheese. (I still don't feel I'm lactose intolerant as I can get the horrifying gut pains without having drunk or had anything cheese related.)

I was supposed to get a call from the nutritionist, but I didn't. :\

 

First batch of chicken fakeattore: too few chicken too much sauce/broth, too small pan. Second batch of chicken fakeattore: twice as much chicken same amoung sauce/broth, pan larger but still may be too small.
Fakeattore is fakeattore because it involves campbell's tomato soup. 1 can tomato soup, one can diced tomato, two small cans mushroom, half a bag of Mirepoix mix. salt, pepper, italian seasoning, garlic.

One recipe I saw had the direction of dusting the chicken with flour, and browning it. I dusted the first and second batch in cornmeal instead.

Second batch of Chicken Fakeattore came out really good! I had it with bread and butter.
I need to find a way to stir the chicken pieces more so the bottom doesn't singe.

 

the ratzen fratzen computer is dying and has decided to occasionally withhold power button privileges. Also the battery has died, so it no longer has a battery. I do not know enough about computers to take it apart and attempt repairs/basic cleaning. :\

I need a new laptop. >_<

 

On the good news side of things, I've restarted the physical therapy, so that's a thing.

 

Also, the prescriber who decided I didn't need a referral is on vacation. There are a number of people at my clinic who I want to hit with a brick. I may say this the next time I'm asked if I have any violent feelings.
Because I kind of do. Because stress/anxiety and so on. Fortunately I may be getting a referral via the medical clinic's neurology department. So go me.
In other news: I got forms from Social Security.
So I'm filling those out tomorrow, and taking them to the lawyer. (Probably Thursday because fuck going anywhere tomorrow.)

 

...Why do people of a certain age (I think this is mostly coming from teenagers) do the "I didn't read what you wrote but--" where they do a point by point rant about everything you wrote to them? I mean, you obviously did NOT ignore/didn't read what I wrote.

In other news accidentally deleted a defenseless comment while also deleting offensive comments (mine and another writers). I am sad. (I will call it penance for taking my temper out on someone who was being rude.)

 

Today I had therapy and we talked about my stressors and also the skin picking thing. I have mentioned That I feel I mostly need to do something with my hands when distracted/anxious/in need of occupation. We've settled on the rubberband method but I maybe want to try learning crotchet or something?

I've gotten a call from the Neuro department clinic, and they said they have referrals set up for me with the Speech Therapist and the Neuro-psychologist. (whooo.)

Monday I see the nutritionist. (Whooo! Now I get to explain I am actually more or less happy with my weight and am actually afraid I might develop an eating disorder siiiiiince I tend to obsess about things and hey! Obsessing about my weight since everyone else seems to might end up being a thing!)

In other news, I need a new ucp (upc? pcu?) fan. The current one died at some point yesterday, but seemed to work fine (if loudly) after I figured out how to take it out, clean it, and put it back in.

 

Now, while I do hold grudges, and I hated the Homestuck epilogue. (To the point I wasn't able to read past the prelude because screeching Horror.) There is a person who I feel will do herself a damage if she keeps dwelling on the epilogue format and what it means as fan fic, not fan fic or canon. (Mostly it means I can't read certain fics because the writers are trying to insert the new canon into their fics.)

There is no way I can explain this to her, because it's not like I actually know her, and she'd only become more upset. :\

 

Wheee! I have a speech therapy eval scheduled in June! \o/. I have been informed there is something of a waiting list for the disability screening: it'll be in October, if it can be scheduled. (Oh god I am so happy I have neurology doctors and they are cooperating with me on this, unlike my goddamn behavioral health clinic who as far as I can tell are good only for bus passes. And group therapy stuff I can't do because Issues. So many Issues.)

 

So, I was recently accused of clogging the toilet in the resident lounge multiple times, without telling anyone and given a warning that if it happened again, I would not be allowed in the aforementioned resident lounge anymore. I did not actually do this. The one time where I did make a mess in the bathroom, I immediately told the office staff, and made an attempt at cleaning the mess before being chased off by one of the housekeepers.

I ended up with an anxiety spiral where I became convinced that this was part of a set up to get me evicted. Case manager/behavioral health people were not much help concerning the situation, but they don't seem to be good for anything that I've noticed.

Now, I've just gotten an email stating that the manager is demanding entry to my apartment and will be doing so next Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday.

So we are back to the anxiety spiral. Logically this could just be an inspection. I'm not sure why we're having an inspection now when we usually have them around the time the company that does the section 8 housing does the inspection, but it most likely doesn't have to do with the bizarro accusation. And doesn't have to do with my thought that this might be some kind of move to get me evicted because they're driving out section 8/disabled residents. (Or just me, because the manager seems to hate my guts.)

I neeeed to find a new place. Except I hate to move.