clowntown daily dispatch (acey’s bejeweled baguette): currently screaming about fanfiction

okay uhhhhhhh

• ur not a turk and u think it’s ur business why constantinople got the works
• i wanna make a my name is earl joke, like “don’t follow if ur name is earl,” but that on its own would look like an actual weird tumblr request so i gotta add SOMETHING
• u killed kenny, u bastard

 

I am 1000000000 years late to this party but I want to present an extremely serious argument for Pearl as a Secretary Bird -

Pros:
-She longe
-She beaky
-She Elegant as Fuck can you see that perfect mascara can you
- She murder stuff with her feeties
-Probably not as tall as she thinks she is but still Intimidating AF
- By which I mean yes is tallest murder birb but not anywhere near any of the Ratites of HECK
-SPEAKING OF HECK literally no raptor is as elegant as they think they are, much like Pearl when startled

CONS
- Name might be triggering due to Pearls designated role so I unnerstan if my argument is dismissed due to poor marketing of the birb

 

VERY GOOD I APPROVE

and it’s not like i don’t write utterly fucked up fanfiction emphasizing that designated role UH I MEAN...NOT WRITING THAT...YEAH...

 

also inelegant pearl moments are my fuckin aesthetic

 

donut follow if you

• drink WATER
• haven't walked in the glow of each other's majestic presence
• practice kleptoplasty (leaf sheep nudibranchs do NOT interact)
• believe football exists

 

how does this look

 

Very good
important to call out .....i was gonna say flansphobia

if u dont like the way john flansburgh lifts his guitar up thats very flansphobic of u

 

do not follow if:
- you said we're wack
- you STOLE fizzy lifting drinks! Good day, sir!
- you spilled lipstick in my valentino white bag!?

 

these are all excellent

 

my garbage brain just started playing two trucks but it was two cucks and i shouldn’t be laughing nearly as hard as i am

 

Spoiler

shouldn’t it be two cucks not having sex?

 

It should be but that doesn’t scan :(

 

this is still so funny

 

"two cucks don't have sex"? Or is that too far away from the original words to get the joake across

 

no that works i think, so long as it makes the singer’s muscles involuntarily flex

 

CALLED TF OUT BY @tickingnectarine

 

got a cute haircut (well, touched up my old one lol) and had a tastey sammich for lunch and got a cute keychain at kmart that’s like...multiple kinds of stimmy for me, i love it (it’s a very soft poof ball thing with a sequin tail attached—the kind of sequins you can flip?)

i have attached it to the fidget keychain @chthonicfatigue sent me so now i have two stim thingies to carry around!!

 

if a creepy dude ever tries to get me to give him my number ever again i'm just giving him the number to dial-a-song and leaving

 

i feel like the entire rupphire wedding arc alone makes s5 arguably the gayest season of su and that's sayin something

 

my friend mike has the cutest dog, her name is zoey and if i ever end up in his neck of the woods i am absolutely going to his place to hang out instead of us going elsewhere to hang out SPECIFICALLY because i love zoey and want to meet her and give her pettins