Brofang, for maximum creepy assholery. Bonus points for Dave and Vriska being totally fucked up by it.
Spoiler: SU spoilers (up to Back To The Barn) I wonder why PearlRose is still such a popular ship even among the "everything even remotely problematic is evil uwu" squad, given what we know now about Pearls being, essentially, sapient status symbols. Whether or not our Pearl was "secondhand" as fanon seems to believe, it's almost certain at this point that she literally belonged to Rose as a fucking slave. And I personally don't think she was secondhand--I'm of the opinion that Rose likely commissioned her herself--but that doesn't seem to be the prevailing view. Regardless, it's still shipping a slave with her owner, which you'd think the Bad Ships Make You Literally Satan IRL brigade would jump on, but no one seems to have done so? (This is all speaking as someone who loves PearlRose, for the record (yes, even fluffy PearlRose). In fact, I'm actually writing a fic for that ship...but said fic is a kink meme fill going into the potentially horrifying aspects of the whole master-slave relationship there, so I'm probably Doing It Wrong according to Tumblr anyway. :P)
Who doesn't love Pearl/Rose? I mean it is problematic af, but I also think it's unrealistic to assume that during the days of human society when we not only had slavery but also had extreme hierarchical inequality between people of different genders and classes and whatnot, that people didn't love each other even in the lousiest of conditions.
Also, I've come to the conclusion that the reason all the Gravity Falls ships are problematic af, is that there are not enough adults and practically no adult women in canon. I get why there are few adults in a story where the kids are supposed to save the universe, but I don't quite understand why none of the important adults are ladies. (Acey, given your primary interest in shipping ladies, I expect that this is why you don't have GF ships except for Soos/Melody, which I also support but don't much want to read about.) I have been known to read Billford (and I also wrote a set of Billford-themed tanka because of a conversation we got into here), because I don't think there's anything Bill is above doing in order to manipulate someone he's using, even if he gets no sexual/romantic pleasure out of it himself, but I certainly don't ship it in the sense of wanting them to actually BE together (although I sometimes perversely enjoy watching my silly cinnamon roll suffer a little for being the dumbest genius on earth). I would have to create OCs if I wanted to put any of the grown men in this show into relationships that I would consider not horrible and not completely fucked up. And you shouldn't think I'm above it.
*copies over something i had wrote earlier in response to a thing @seebs was discussing on tumblr 'cause it also seems relevant to what @cryptoThelematrix just said here*
Brofang is good yes. I also like Porrim/Mindfang. All the creepiness of Dolofang but with the added thing of Porrim being far younger and less experienced.
Oh, definitely agreed! I'm just surprised that I've never seen anyone on Tumblr complaining about how Bad it is.
I've got an AU in progress that will at some point involve horrific flashbacks you'll love. I know Bill is neither sexual nor romantic. But he is so not above using his victims' oxytocin bonding brain chemistry and other fun things to fuck with them all. I don't understand the people who say that letting Bill be creative is erasing his asexuality. The fact that sex and romance mean absolutely nothing to him gives him complete free rein to use them however he likes to anyone who will let him in.
@KittySnores Snarry was my guilty pleasure ship for years. (These days I tend to prefer Drarry, though.)
Warning, this is a rant. It's a rant about gross fanon tropes that are pervasive with certain ships and hard to avoid. You may like these gross fanon tropes and find them not gross. If that's the case, I don't judge you, but I really wish that you'd come up with a good tag or warning label that I could see before getting halfway through a fic and having to nope out into some happy place for a while. I'm not talking about Billford curtain fic. It's easy to spot THAT shit and frankly sometimes it's funny af. I mean the really gross tropes, like "Dimension 52 is where I learned to accept the NAMBLA deep down in my heart," or parents and guardians who are portrayed in canon as caring and smart being in favour of things that nobody would ever want for their kids. Here's some examples of what I'm talking about from my fave bad ships. 1) DIPFORD: I don't write it but if someone writes a good one with an adult Dipper who is preferably the instigator, I will read the shit out of that because my whole Gravity Falls fannish existence has "please let Stanford be happy" at the heart of it and if they want to AU it so that Dipper is old enough to get GSA when he and Ford meet or that Dipper realises sometime in his early 20s that he's looking for someone just like Ford when Ford's right there, FUCK YES GIMME NOW. GSA well-written is a huge kink of mine. But Dipford comes with a lot of bad tropes that make me want to break things, preferably over someone's head. I will be happy if I never ever EVER read another fic that basically states that Stanford came to terms with having pedo inclinations because people in other dimensions celebrate love no matter what form it takes regardless of age or relationship or power balance and is whining because he met the love of his life in this backwater where people just don't understand that it is OK for a 60+ year old man to fall in love with and bang a 12 year old. I'm sorry, I don't want my favourite character to be a pedo that wants to fuck a 12 year old, but I especially don't want him spouting NAMBLA rhetoric from "more advanced" (what) dimensions. I will also be happy if I never ever EVER read another fic where Stan just up and decides that it's okay for his brother to fuck a 12-13 year old child that he is acting as the guardian of because "it would make them so happy". Because Stan would so not do that. (Last night I encountered a fic where Stan wanted to beat Ford up for breaking his 16 year old nephew's heart by refusing to acknowledge that they were soulmates on the grounds that he had no business boning a 16 year old. Ford doing that would actually make the fic interesting but Stan deciding to beat Ford up for NOT fucking Dipper was just too gross.) I don't read the ones where they're doing it when Dipper is 12-13 when I can help it but sometimes I run into a situation that I think is going to be like a prologue and whoops, no! If these things are properly tagged/labelled I can avoid them, but I don't want to just get them in the face and I have given up looking at any art tags on tumblr for this because the vast majority of it looks like NAMBLA porn, not two adults with a wide age difference. I can't see anyone here writing "Dimension 52 is NAMBLA" fics so I'm just putting that out there. If you do like that kind of thing...please come up with a tag for that! 2) WINCEST: I fucking love Sam/Dean. I just do. I was deeply into SPN for the first four seasons after which I think it really did jump the shark in a big way. I can't really relate to what fans of the current show like about it. I had real problems with Dean/Castiel when it first became popular because that involves the nonconsensual use of Castiel's host's body, and I think consensual incest between adults is probably not a good idea IRL, but better than anything involving raping people. Also, the dynamic where Sam/Dean were left alone as children and forced to become unhealthily codependent and parent themselves and each other and occasionally John BREEDS incestuous attractions. It makes psychological sense, they're both hot adults, I can see it enhancing their lives since the other people they get involved with have terrible things happen to them, please bring it on. Also, I'm not sure the citation for this is still available because it's like 10 years old, but Jensen Ackles has gone on record saying that he can't see how Dean and Sam survived without a little prostitution on the side and that Dean would have done it to spare Sam, so give me all of that stuff too, Dean the hustler coming home to Sam licking his wounds so to speak. As long as they're not, you know, 12. But if they start banging before they're 16 (or even really at any time, but especially then), John should not be OK with this! Or join in! Unless you tag it! (Also I know that technically John/Sam or John/Dean is "Wincest" but really most people expect Sam/Dean under that tag so maybe don't do that?) I want the other people surrounding the pair to act in character, basically--I want to be able to believe this happened. 3) MALFOYCEST: I wrote one of the most notorious Draco/Narcissa fics in the history of ever (Goodbye - as ataniell93 aka Azalais du Plessix Malfoy) which is partly why I had so much trouble with the HP fandom. I'm not sure if it is archived anywhere any more but will provide it on request. I will warn that it contains a lot of very flowery language that was also mocked so if you don't like that, you may not like it. :) I viewed this fic as somewhat tragic because I thought it was clear that while Draco thought he was very happy, he was also badly affected in terms of the ability to relate to others. (There was also a twist ending and people bugged me for years to write what happened next and got annoyed when I told them to imagine it themselves because I basically had two choices and either one would have pissed off half the fans). Anyhow, I freaking loved Malfoycest when it was just a thing where the Malfoys think they are better and prettier than everyone else, but portraying Lucius as someone who sexually abuses his son just because Evil Always Rapes People bugs me, can't help it. Be creative. 4) RIDDLE/LUCIUS: I got in so much trouble with some people because of our (at one time publicly posted as part of a major RPG of that time) RP with 15 year old Riddle and highly precocious 11 year old Lucius. I would not have written this with an adult Riddle, but the age difference was totally problematic and yet it was also kind of entertaining. Lucius was my character and the way I wrote it was that he was intrigued with all of this stuff that felt good and with Tom's ideas and was completely infatuated with Tom. We always separated the explicit parts of the RPs with a link to another page so that people could, if they liked, not actually watch the 15 year old bang the 11-12 year old blow by blow, so to speak. But that shit was fun and took me back to being a highly precocious 11 year old who did not have sex with older teenagers but ... kinda wanted to? We built a secret love nest in the Chamber of Secrets, we wrote ridiculous scenes where Luce covered the bed with rose petals, Tom let Luce ride the basilisk, and people got mad because we refused to let them get caught and punished, I would say things like, why does this shock you, they're going to grow up to be mass murderers you know (and Luce was already helping Tom cover up some murders), and besides, um, if we have Dumbledore catch them that actually decreases the chances that Luce will get fully corrupted. (We started this before we knew Lucius' canonical age.) I've never understood why that got so much more hate than a bunch of fics about Voldemort raping Lucius which I really do not want to read. I don't think we were portraying it as a good thing just because we portrayed it as a FUN thing for two little sociopathic evil cinnamon rolls. (What would an evil cinnamon roll be, anyway? Because they were incredibly adorable and also super TOXIC.) To my way of thinking, evil wouldn't be so popular if it was never fun. 5) I can't read 99% of STANCEST because the people who write it all seem to think that Ford and Stan started boning when they were like 15 and are going to just start back up again as soon as the portal is reopened. Did you miss all that punching and growling? Can we not work that in somewhere because frankly that could be hot? I could accept the teenage relationship under Wincest rules (no emotional support from anyone but each other + teenage hormones = fooling around that shouldn't happen) except that then you have to convince me how canon actually happened--sure, Stan might well be jealous and break Ford's beautiful creation (seriously, do you know what it would actually mean if someone really did that) but I can't help thinking that their lives would have taken a bit of a different trajectory at some point before they ended up in front of the portal the first time. You could probably convince me but most of these people do not do the work. OK, rant over. :) I think my actual problem is that I expect, when I read fics, to be able to visualise the characters as I understand them actually having the sex and the relationship voluntarily, and that I personally can't enjoy a ship fully unless I think everyone's having fun, even if it is dirty, gross, dangerous and probably psychologically damaging fun. @KittySnores - Sorry, Snape/Hermione and Draco/Harry for me. But I did read a lot of Snarry because my friends wrote it.
North American Man/Boy Love Association Basically pedophiles (and ephebophiles?) who insist that fucking children is not only okay but also enlightened and noble.
@cryptoThelematrix I kinda get what you mean. There are certain types of out-of-characterness that drive me up the wall, especially if they are not tagged. I can usually see any two pairs of characters as a romantic pairing with no problem, but certain dynamics just strike me as arrgh. And I don't even have a problem with dark or weird stuff! I was kind of interested in Dipford, as a dark ship with no age-up, because some episodes gave me weird grooming vibes. (I'm not saying Stanford is canonically a creepy character, it's not his fault he reminds me of my best friend's creepy maths teacher, long story.) But the fics that exist are not the sort of thing I'm interested in reading, unfortunately.
It's a real thing. Sadly, one of my favourite authors ever turned out to be involved in it up to her neck. I can't not like the books any more because Darkover was my spiritual home as an abused teenager, but I am sure pissed off about it. I have seen some of their propaganda, and I have seen lines in dipford fics that I swear were copied right out of it.
Once upon a time I would've put Scourge Sisters in here but character development happened and we have proof that it could work out in a not-badship way so instead I propose a delightful Aradia/Vriska spades pile.
