Undertale - Pet dogs and date a skeleton!

The random phone calls are randomized things that can happen if your fun/Fun stat is between certain values!

*eta ninja'd

 

Maybe... although that aborted no mercy run was my first run on this machine, soooo I really don't know what's up with that. Weird. My loading screen right now also has Toriel, Sans, and Papyrus, and now that I think about it I haven't actually befriended Papyrus yet....

Huh! I've only ever gotten the "wrong number song" phone call... Anyways, here is the Alphys phone call, for the curious. My fun value is lowercase fun 47.

 

Okay, so I'm messing around with File 0 some more, referencing some useful compilations people have made of the rooms, encounters, and items as well as the flags that File 0 records.

It took me a while to understand what the heck I was looking at because none of these resources bother to say which lines are which! The File 0 stuff is very unhelpfully long list of unlabeled 0s and other random numbers, and the flags don't start for several lines down. >:(

So I'm snagging their info and making my own reference sheet where the lines and the flag numbers are actually labeled.

One very cool thing I figured out, that I am gonna play around with the next time I try a geno run: you can give yourself access to the dimensional boxes as early as the ruins. You need to have gotten the cellphone to see the dimensional box, and you need to pick up a piece of candy (or other item) for the game to give you access to the items menu.

Spoiler: fun times with teleportation

 

I've started a second playthrough. I didn't know what exactly would propel me to get past flowey's "please don't make me go through this again" gate, but in the end, it was my desire to replay the boss encounters and have FUN with them, instead of panicking and wondering how the heck to make them work, like I did the first time. I finished Snowdin and Waterfall, and now I'm taking a break, because I want to full SAVOR every moment I spend with Mettaton. I'm going to make a day of that. Fuck, I'm going to make a DATE out of that. Love me, deathbot.

Spoiler: pacfist run two: why cant i make it better boogaloo

For all the game text about how everyone is happy and it would be a disservice to come back... you can't expect me to listen to that and nod and agree when I'm being told this by Flowey, who I KNOW is Asriel, who I KNOW is not happy and does need help. No, I do not want to make him go through emotional turmoil again. No, I do not believe a second pacifist run will make him any better, not really. YES, I AM HERE BECAUSE THERE IS A WEIRD PART OF ME WHO BELIEVES THAT IF I JUST LOVE ASRIEL HARD ENOUGH, HE'LL BE FINE THIS TIME.

I gave the fallen child their own name this time; Chara. I dunno, the game seems to tell you that people will be happier and less aggressive if you can just tell them what they want to hear, give them what they want, and let them sort it out. It's a long shot. I'm sure someone else has already tried it, but hell, maybe I'll get some cool text from them. Or from Asriel. Someone, dammit. I know who you are and I want to help you.

It was jarring to go from Flowey's quietly miserable plea to not put him through this again to him giving me that grin and saying that he can't wait to see me again, CHARA. (Though he said a different name that time, as I gave the fallen child my default gaming name on my first playthrough.) Motherfucker are you EVER sincere about your pleas for help? About wanting to get better? About feeling the love I give you? This is a two sided street fella

 

Spoiler

I can get it. That grin looks pretty unhappy to me; he misses his unhealthy codependent sibling/friendship.

The only other person who could really understand Flowey, after all. Frisk and any of the others, with their love and their friendship and their giving a shit about others, they can't understand what it is to be heartless. But he's a lonely flower monster child, missing his fellow human monster child.

The worst part of a geno run by which i mean the best part is when he realizes that he understands Chara, and that he doesn't like what he just understood...

 

Spoiler: MY CONTINUED MURDER SON LOVE AFFAIR

I DIDN'T FUCKING CHECK THE MINIGOLF GAME ON MY GENO RUN AND NOW THAT I FOUND OUT THAT IT SAYS SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR I AM JUST FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

"Try as you might, you continue to be yourself."

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

"..." is still my favorite line in the entire game though. I'm gaining a great love of Asriel's "Big kids don't cry" too. I just want to hug the children. Shoosh. Shoosh tiny goat boy and murder child.

why can't i save them

 

I used a name that is mine too, and I don't say 'my name' because it is not my given name, it's a name I chose for myself. (I'm not trying to avoid saying that I'm trans, because I am not, the name has nothing to do with gender, it's a personal thing.) And in that very Earthbound way of Undertale, it was really fulfilling to use the name I use for myself, because the game spoke to me. It WAS nice to hear that voice tell me to stay determined, that it can't end here, that I have it in me. It made me tear up after Asgore had defeated me for the, like, fifth time and I just wanted to let him win and not be a barrier to the monsters' happiness, but no, I have to find another way, dammit, I have to STAY DETERMINED >:[

And it was jarring to hear that (my chosen name here) was not a very good person, but jarring in the way the game intended. After all, this is a name I use for games all the time, and it's been attached to not-great characters before. All in all, pretty rewarding to use my name without knowing how the game would use it; some moments were more personal that way.

 

...WELP. That's an interesting thought. Next geno attempt, I'm gonna have to give the fallen child my name.

 

It's so worth it. You have to decide, on point, whether the things they are saying about YOU are true or not. Are you that person? Do you act like this?

And also, Asgore(? It is his voice at least) telling you that this isn't the end and you can do it is AMAZINGLY motivating.

 

I used a diminutive of my name for the first go, even though I vaguely knew the name wasn't going to what I thought it was, but I'm going to just use Chara for my murder run. The least I can do is to give this kid their proper name back before I ruin everything.

 

On that note Alex is a name I've only ever used for this character and a Harry Potter OC. Namely a Slytherin named Alex. They were bigendered and dysphoria sucks yo. Due to that and a variety of other things they ended up rather spiteful and hateful of most people. I mean most people are dicks so why wouldn't we be a dick? Really he was usually content to just stick to himself if he could. He was also very curious and driven to learn new shit which could then be used to do. Stuff. Knowledge for its own sake was lovely, but knowledge is best when you can use it to further your own goals. Those goals might be making dysphoria less shit for a bit or totally wrecking someone's shit for being a jerk.

It turned out to be a somewhat fitting name.

Doing shit in the genocide run hit me rather hard after I was given time to think on it either way. Because I had done those things even if I was named Alex. I got to sit down and think about things a lot and that is why I think playing through the genocide route is worth it. You can meditate upon things.

The other thing is that the First Human reminds me a lot of my little brother. He was rather troubled when he was younger and made attempts to kill me. I'd have to hide the knives from him when our mother wasn't home and so on. He did get better, but it was a kind of terrifying thing to live with. And really thinking back on what our lives were like as kids I mostly just feel bad for my little brother. Like yeah he hurt me and even tried to kill me (he admitted to that a year ago) but still. He needed help and he wasn't getting it. And I was just making it so much worse.

But what if I hadn't been a shit head. And he continued to be awful and got worse? That's a terrifying thought. What if I couldn't help him even when I did all the right things?

 

That is a tough thought. And it's one of the worst things about helping people irl, especially if they're young. Sometimes it means the world to them, sometimes it's a little port in the storm, and sometimes it's nothing. Sometimes all the help and compassion in the world can't help someone. A child, especially, like your brother, is pretty impervious to being changed. And I mean children in general-- I don't think the average child expects anything other than care and compassion from others, so it's not always meaningful to get it. A child who has been through rough times, it's different. But the kindness that would make an adult bawl is routine to most kids. People are nice to kids. They're used to it.

I'm sure you did all that another child, and a sibling, could do for a disturbed child. It's hard to do it right when you're in the thick of it too. Not to pretend I know your situation, but the fact that you're still in contact with him and caring about him and thinking about how to do better by him speaks volumes.

And yeah, I see the connection to the fallen child you saw too >u< that must have felt pretty personal to you, then. Sorry. I've not met a lot of people struggling in that way, so they're opaque to me.

Kudos on living your way through that >:3

 

Oh no believe me I didn't help. I was a huge shitlord to him. Doing things like blaming him for shit that I didn't do and making fun of him and so on. That and whoo physical violence towards the kid. Granted he was trying to stab me I guess? But still.

He's better now. Which is nice. And our relationship is significantly better. But jesus fuck. It's scary to think that even if I hadn't been an asshole he could have gotten worse. Not just scary but thoroughly depressing. Someone ending up awful is depressing. Not just because of the people they hurt, but because they didn't have to be like that. It didn't have to happen. They could have done so much more.

 

And for someone struggling with a brother trying to kill them, that's a pretty good track record! No personal experience, but I doubt I would do any better.

I don't know what can be done, really, for a person like your brother. I'm glad to hear that time and maturity helped. It... would be an interesting case study if it wasn't insulting to call something that personal a case study. Still. I hear people say all the time that people 'like that,' violent kids, 'bad seeds,' cannot get better. Guess they can.

ABOUT UNDERTALE THO

Spoiler: the upsetting possibility that alphys is way dead. tw suicide.

I was looking through the endings that were linked a few pages back, and all I ended up being was worried about Alphys. I saw a tumblr post some time ago detailing the fact that Alphys is suicidal in-game. Not a huge surprise, since she, judging by how she talks about herself in her date event and in the True Lab, deals with serious self-loathing and anxiety. It seems that Undyne met Alphys when she was considering suicide after the disaster of her Determination experiments, and Undyne partially supplied her with the drive to live. I'm not surprised her past and her issues have all balled up into suicidal urges, but god, does it hit me in the gut.

I've been trying to figure out when she dies and when she doesn't. There's an ending where she ends up ruling the Underground, because Undyne called her and begged her to help, and she forced herself to become a leader, because Undyne sounded so desperate and she needed to do SOMETHING. Mortal terror does have a way of punching through depression. Mettaton seems to be a factor in thi toos, because, in certain endings, where Toriel is dead and Undyne is out for your blood, if you've killed Mettaton, Alphys is another one of the 'unfortunate disappearances' (Undyne says something about being unable to protect HER if Metta is killed, not HIM) but she doesn't 'disappear' if Mettaton is still there. In his ending, though, when Undyne and Toriel and Papyrus are dead but Metta is still around, Alpyhs is clearly dead. Metta has build a statue commemorating her.

For a second, I wondered if she usually needed Metta AND Undyne to live, but then I stopped myself. This isn't about numbers. Her death isn't a one plus one equation. Somethings, Undyne being alive and beside her is enough. Sometimes, it seems like Metta is enough, or having other friends there with her. In one case, she stays alive because she feels called to lead and guide the few people left in the Underground. But it's clear that it's not a question of leaving the right combination of people around to keep her around, or, at least, it shouldn't be. Alphys's struggle through suicidal urges is clearly done alone, for the most part, since she won't open up about her feelings and her urge to do 'something cowardly' unless you play the True Lab and convince her to tell people about what happened. She feels alone, she keeps to herself, and in some endings, the pressure of having done wrong and hating herself gets to her, and she commits suicide. In others, enough people are there for her, and there is enough reason to live and enough will and energy in her to live that she tries to give it a chance. In one ending, Undyne mentions she's struggling, and that she's doing unwell, but she's trying. She hasn't opened up, but because her friends are there for her, she's trying to live and get by. God, does that punch me in the gut. anyway.

To me, it feels authentically left to chance, or, at least, like something close to real life. Alphys lives if she can. It's not about plugging in the right numbers for her good ending. If she has the help she needs, if she is given the tools to fight through the helplessness and the self-hatred, if she has people helping her and people depending on her, she fights to live. She lives every time she can. But sometimes, she doesn't make it, and leaving her without her hope and the people who were supporting her leaves her unable to fight against her misery.

Damn.

 

Spoiler: I'm still obsessing over that flower

and taking relevant screenshots.

Right now I'm watching someone's true pacifist lp to get good looks at the visuals of attacks, and the expressions everyone makes at various points.


At one point when Asriel starts in on attacking you, your six captured friends block the attacks and cheer you on. The first one to do it is Toriel:

Spoiler: unfortunate wording from Toriel

... well. see. i remember the geno run.




...ouch. Toriel. You're able to come to the rescue of the human child whose name you still haven't asked, but when your kid needed you, you weren't there. And you demonstrate this in front of remains of your kid, by defending the human from your kid. Serious ouch, man. I mean, you don't know who that is, I'm not holding you accountable for it. It's just... seriously unfortunate.

And there's a later part where Asriel pulls out more power, to the point that you can't move, only struggle. He monologues at you some more, and comes out with these interesting remarks:

Spoiler: now what does this remind me of...?

Spoiler: oh, right. the goner kid. (gifs)

largely understood to be talking about W.D. Gaster. Or rather, that this kid is a mouthpiece for Gaster, the last royal scientist who was scattered across time and space.

There's this theme about fading memories, and separation, and loneliness...

But these aren't what I came here for, they were just interesting tangents. The reasons I came here were for more screenshots of Toriel, and more insight into Flowey's motivations:

Spoiler: Flowey's stated motivation, pacifist run

album
Huh?
WHY am I still doing this?
Don't you get it?
This is all just a GAME.
If you leave the underground satisfied, you'll "win" the game.
If you "win," you won't want to "play" with me anymore.
And what would I do then?
But this game between us will NEVER end.
I'll hold victory in front of you, just within your reach...
And then tear it away just before you grasp it.

He's so tired of being alone. And as a soulless flower with the power to SAVE and LOAD, without feelings for the people around him and with the power to reset his every action, he was alone in a world of programmable NPCs. For an unknown number of resets and an unknown amount of time.

Asriel after the battle, fresh off feeling everyone's compassion and love for one another, to the point it's almost like he has his soul again, can remember and acknowledge that Chara wasn't a great person. That their plan kinda sucked, that Chara lied about the plan in order to get the power to kill humans, and that Asriel didn't fuck up by refusing to do it. That the philosophy kill or be killed isn't necessary.

But then, after the end of the game, when you open it again for the first time after a pacifist ending? Asriel has faded, and Flowey has been lurking around for an unknown amount of time. Bored and lonely again. He seems wistful and faintly regretful about everything he did, encouraging you to just let them live their lives... then insists that, if you do reset, you erase his memories too. And he acknowledges you as [Chara].

Asriel broke the barrier to let everyone free, and stayed behind knowing that Flowey would return. Flowey didn't follow anyone out, staying in the dark alone to avoid hurting them. But if you follow him into the dark by opening the game again, he seems to take it as a chance to encourage you to start it all over again. By addressing you as [Chara], and getting the player curious enough to investigate why he's still seeing us by that name, when he was calling Frisk Frisk in the very same conversation. Strategic little bastard.



Not to mention, that by not giving the HAPPY happy ending of rescuing Flowey, or Asriel, or Chara, I keep poking at the game files going "but why not :("

 

Spoiler: Dunking continues

I decided to switch steam to offline mode and give Sans a couple more shots. Shots where I gave myself 8 pies and the Temmie armor and 99/99 health, but still. I died pretty quickly twice before I got back into the rhythm of things, and



I managed to reach the sparing-me part with 3 pies left! An achievement!



This is where I'm at now, no pies left. So... I probably won't survive the 4 attacks left til his SPECIAL ATTACK.

Spoiler: eta ugh

it's so fucking tedious

which is the whole point

but ugh i hate this kind of battle it makes me sad and annoyed

so i finally room jumped to go and chat with chara a bit

it's interesting that they didn't know what they were reincarnated for until you play through on the geno route

leaves me with the question, what conclusions do they come to on other routes?

or do they not awaken on those paths?

 

I'm not at a good place in my save file to try any of this, so I'll just ask here:

Spoiler: True Pacifist ending stuff

What happens if you attack the Lost Souls? They have health bars, so you can try, at the very least. Could you actually kill them? I doubt it'd let you, but...?

Can you attack Asriel? Probably wouldn't do much, but maybe it has dialogue. [Asriel: timelines blahblah I'm so evil blahblah. Frisk:*thwaps Asriel in the face with Torn Notebook*. Asriel: ...what? seriously?]

Like, that whole battle was so emotional that I didn't even think to anything besides what was expected of me.

 

You miss.

 

That's... kind of disappointing, but it makes sense.

Spoiler

Murdering everyone right at the end would be a much more efficient version of the no mercy route. Trick them all into gathering at the same place, and kill Asriel once he's gathered all those souls, rather than having to kill each monster one by one...

edit: Hm, that would bypass Sans and having a bad time, but you wouldn't have the necessary LOVE to take on Adult Asriel. So you'd probably have to go through the battle as normal, then stab Asriel when he's back in his child form but still has the souls? Maybe right after he broke the barrier and you're given the chance to hug him, then you kill him.

 

FANFIC