bandit king of lunch and string

way harder to treat, and I’m terrified it’ll involve spine surgery aaaaaaaaaaa, but it’s not like it was getting better while we were treating it as piriformis syndrome, so. Yeah.

 

thanks guys

 

also i ran out of cyclobenzaprine (muscle relaxant) and had to resort to taking the hydrocodone left over from my dental surgery. have i mentioned i hate opiates? once or twice or fifty times? i hate opiates. i'm slugging hydration and fiber as much as i can handle, but i'm still starting to get constipated, which is agonizing when your whole left side from waist to toes is doing this:



and i was treated to a night of the Opioid Nightmare Show, including such classics as 'My Brother Secretly Hates Me', 'Dad Why Are We Stuck In Wyoming I Want To Go Home', and 'WTF Is Wrong With This Grocery Store?'

seebs and barb are being absolute heroes, tho, and hermes is the most loyal snugglebutt. so that helps.

 

this is not news to me, alas. fortunately preventative measures are still working, because i do NOT want to go there again.

 

unfortunately, the stars did not align, so it's opiates again for me tonight, and then it's the weekend and i'm probably down to ibuprofen and crying. please post bears. ;_;

 

even when everything sucks there are things that don't suck.

seebs was playing a switch game in bed w me and telling me about nobilis, and hermes came and snuggled in between us and gave my hand a loving bath, and devy cat discovered that feet are part of the human!! and are warm!!! and for just a little while my world was Very Good despite asspain. <3

 

thanks you guys <3

turns out i had another stash of hydrocodone from the OTHER dental surgery, so i'm not abandoned to the ravages of my L5 nerve for the weekend after all. and seebs has been giving me hourly leg massages, which helps amazingly. replacing the lightning prickles with warm handsquishings seems to kind of recalibrate the nerve for a while.

still scared shitless about having a cyst on my spine. nobody said anything about "oh btw you could end up paralyzed" but that's where my brain is going. i mean, would dr choi really have thought to discuss it? she's very competent, and spotted the cyst on the MRI when dr kohler didn't, but she was also in a great tearing hurry and her 'does this hurt, how about this' routine felt like getting the shit kicked out of me. i'm not sure she really saw me as a person, so much as a puzzle. if there IS a risk of paralysis or permanent numbness or something, it might not even have occurred to her to mention it to me.

well, the plan is to get another MRI focused on that particular area, and i think get a cortisone shot directed at that spot. but i reckon i'm going to have to talk to kohler to get a picture of what this all means for my life, because choi really seems like a researcher who doesn't want to be dealing with patients.

 

Thank you! The article is reassuring and the sheepymon is adorable!

 

“who dies in vain, alone and in pain, and makes a slinkety sound” stop that brain you’re not clever

 

i’ve been stuck in bed for more than two weeks now. i just want to stop hurting. they still haven’t given me my pain meds.

 

FINALLY the muscle relaxant is arrive! here's hoping it fixes me up enough that i can at least sit up for more than five or ten minutes, maybe use my laptop a bit, maybe even watch some tv? is that too much to ask? fingers crossed.