clowntown daily dispatch (acey’s bejeweled baguette): currently screaming about fanfiction

:0 Evidence

 

HELL YEAH!!!!

 

not to be speciesist but mosquitoes are bad and i hate them

 

i’m not sure if i’m femme or futch or even possibly soft butch but one thing’s for sure: i’m a dumbass

 

the most awkward thing is when ur nipple ends up peeking out from ur tank top during therapy

 

i should note that my therapist either didn’t notice or felt weird pointing it out, bc i was the one who noticed and i was just like “FUCK”

 

Bri told me the other day, and will not stop reminding me, that your nipples are technically older than your teeth. I have been ready to kick their ass for 3 days. Nipples and teeth should NOT come up together in a fun fact conversation. I needed to share this.

 

This is a horrifying fact pls tell Bri that I am scarred for life

Like they’re not wrong but like...

It’s true but they shouldn’t say it basically

 

I have done NOTHING WRONG IN MY ENTIRE LIFE and they tell me this

How do I unlearn something

Also I told them that every time they tell me that fact they lose a tooth, but they will not know when said teeth will be lost

 

that said, had the band in my small-town millennials in 2018 thing not been pretty firmly named Spider Pussy by now (thanks to a dream hiatt had where he saw a toy vending machine at a supermarket called that), i would strongly consider naming them Fetus Nipples

 

i picked Spider Pussy bc they’re a weird goth girl band and also bc it’s the funniest phrase i can imagine tbh

 

so is Spider Pussy NOT a reference to Vriska? asking for science reasons.

 

nope! the dream had nothing to do with vriska from what he said

 

where is the "informative, yet highly suspicious" rating

 

IT'S TRUE I SHIT YOU NOT

 

IT GOT UP TO 106 ALREADY END MEEEEEE

 

AAAAAUGH IT’S 10FUCKIN9 NOW

A HUNDRED AND NINE FUCKING DEGREES FAHRENHEIT

 

Wow, that’s far too many degrees.

 

Put some back

 

it got up to 112 jfc but at least it’s cooling down somewhat