Back on my bullshit

got "sir- uh, ma'am"d by a customer when I'd resigned myself to being uncomfortably femme goddamn do I need a haircut and I'm just
>:3c good
be confused

 

@tomorrow me: laundry, pack craft things and plushes

 

@future me: a cup of blueberries does in fact have enough fluid to need compensation, dumbass

 

laundry in, packing derailed in favor of Plant Maintenance. Pirate Mum may be a tad soggy now but hopefully she'll perk up now that her dirt isn't burning her systems
she was so shocked by Real Dirt she lost leaves, poor thing

 

me: paints the pot with Threatening (Fandom) Messages to encourage plant growth
also me: is my baby plont okay here sweetie do you need water, how's your dirt, are you getting enough light--

 

downside of having plushies of favorite characters: I feel so bad putting them all in a box, never to be seen again for a month and a half

 

It Is Done

 

murders da2 canon so I don't have to choose just one Hawke for the two quizzies au

 

acanthus and bethany were the twins, with onyx The Hawke; bethy dies in the tutorial
both go on the deep roads expedition, neither gets Warden'd (onyx's ingame bethy did but acanthus' went Circle)
Acanthus and Onyx already wouldn't really get on, but eoa2 is where it really starts getting fiery; onyx was prepared to hand Isa over except my approval wasn't high enough and she flat out didn't come back, but Isa is one of Acanthus' People and duelled the Arishok for her. Acanthus gets the Champion title and proceeds to politic with it
Act 3 (and the intervening years) is a lot of arguing "why is your boyfriend a FUCKING DICK" in both directions; Acanthus kills Anders for the chantrysplosion, they probably have another fight and have to be separated when the rite of annulment is announced
As in separate canons, Acanthus takes the templars' side and Onyx the mages' (now even more bloodily than before); they team back up for Meredith's fight, and declare mutual "if I ever see you again I Will kill you" after Cullen throws his hands up at the whole mess. Cullen is too smart to get in the middle of a Hawke fight.
Their Tale of the Champion is probably focused a lot more on the sibling foiling and has an extra note of tragedy

 

i mean this is honestly better that how mirrors and I dealt with 'two quizzies' AU, which was 'spatio-temporal ripple unified two timelines, bethany and carver are both alive, idris and theodore are both hawkes that are remembered as independently of eachother being the champion, everyone has massive migraines because of the mental dissonance'

 

helped marginally by the fact that Ghilan isn't technically an Anchored Inquisitor in this au, he just leads Maraas around by the dick nose :p

 

I HAVE ACQUIRED
THE ENBY

 

hell week hell week hell week

 

what is this societal obsession with smooth ~youthful~ skin

 

something something perfect smooth skin = health and the cult of Health And Exercise And Youth has been camped out in at least the western world for way long and been making people obsess over this for ages, and it's rly damaging

 

get called into work at 6 in the goddamn morning
I reiterate: hell week

 

on the other hand: BIRTHDAY CLUSTER APPROACHETH

 

honger.........

 

momentarily forgot the idiomatic "kettle of fish"
my brain's helpful substitution was "a whole other can of beans"
A+

 

anyway Knife Elf Gess is now also Knife MonHun Gess

I forgot steam's got a different keybind for screenshots so I don't have any good caps of her face yet, alas, but! Knives